'If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint,"...

then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.' - Van Gough

I haven’t written in what seems like forever……

 

Inspiration?

Nonexistent.

What’s in my head?

Is keeping me awake at night.

The desire?

Overwhelming!

The ability….

Well, that’s subjective.

And there’s this strange tension

Between what I want

And what I can’t have.

This tension between

Expression…

And speechlessness…

Between work…

                                 And the need to rest....               

Peace…

                    All tied up with exhaustion…                  

                                                Hyperventilation…

                                                                                              And

Asphyxiation…

 

All happening at same time…

      All together

All at once

And I can’t escape it!

                               

                             I feel small…

W H I L E       T A K I N G         U P       T H E         S P A C E        O F         A N           E N T I R E           R O O M.

It’s like I’m in the middle

And two opposing forces are pulling me

In both directions

Keeping me taut

Like a surgeon doing a face lift,

Pulling a sagging face over their patient’s scalp

Leaving them tight and grotesque

And inhuman….

That’s me.

Uncomfortable.

Tight.

Tense.

And the need for release is nigh unbearable… 

Author's Note

picture belongs to http://syda-ginger.deviantart.com/