Sidestep, the Political Cat

Sidestep’s a political cat--

Seldom around when you need him.

But it never fails: he is there

When it's time to feed him.

 

Early on, his mother knew

He'd be a politician.

As a kitten, he proved to be

A glib rhetorician.

 

He could talk his siblings out of

Any treat or favor.

He quickly learned what went down fast

And what he needed to savor.

 

In kitten school, he highly excelled.

Though not an expert reader,

He was good at giving orders,

For he was a natural leader.

 

When it came to loyalties,

You barely knew where he stood.

He was known as the "cagey one"

Throughout the neighborhood.

 

Now he thinks that caterwauling

Expresses his constitution,

And he has devoted time to perfecting

The art of circumlocution.

 

When you think you've pinned him down,

Much to your dismay,

He evades your prying questions

And suddenly slips away.

 

His donors, extolling his policies,

Are proud to be in his tribe.

What they might call a major donation,

Others call a bribe.

 

"Donations" consist of a dying lizard,

A tasty, half-eaten mouse,

Or a scrumptious piece of grasshopper

Next to the door of the house.

 

When the spotlight shines on him,

Oh, how his eyes glisten!

But sometimes he talks way too much

And doesn't like to listen.

 

He maintains his strategies

Are crucial for survival.

Thus, he looks for ways to smear

Any political rival.

 

He thinks he is quite the card.

However, opinions are split.

Though liked by some, many think

He's really full of spit.

 

"You will always win with me!"

Is one of his favorite quotes.

He hopes his fake sincerity

Will win him a lot of votes.

 

Sidestep runs a messy campaign

As he stands in front of the flag.

He just hopes that no one lets

The cat out of the bag.

 

-by Bob B (1-31-20)