Living in the Dawn

Oh, they are only trying to help. Right?

 

Sadness,

Like the dawn,

Is easier to detect the beginning

Then to determine the end.

 

Advice continues to intersect.

Perpendicular in its approach

Emotional stoplights would be good.

Because I don’t want to keep crashing.

 

I stand holding my own hands

Wishing for a sudden departure.

Not of self but of the sullen mood.

 

I release my meal
Stand and feel

The same.

 

Tears drip on

Like the faucet

I’ve been meaning to fix.

S**t! I wish I would have done that.

 

I pace a divot in the flooring

As friends, “friends”, and family

Spew their thoughts on my existence.

My head bends back

At the power they believe me to have.

I feel bad that I haven’t saved a life

Or defeated a dictator

With all this untapped potential.

 

It’s funny how weak I feel

After these exchanges.

 

They tell me it will workout.

They tell me it will work.

They tell me I will be better.

 

But every thought I have

Makes me feel closer to the dawn

But not close enough to the day.