Listen Closely

yeah

Do I exist? Or am I just fragments of dust scattered here and there?
Everything that will never happen
flickers and fades, you electrify me,
and then it vanishes, it grows.
but am I a burning warehouse as it rains,
I am the ashes that flicker with the rain, fizzle and fade,
the ashes you touch because the rain cooled them but they burn anyways.
do I exist, do you see me, am I see-through, can you read my mind?
come to me. do you feel it too? can you feel the wind in our hair?
I am fragments of dust scattered here and there.
lonely city girl, wandering forest nymph, meandering warrior.
I am alive.
Do you feel it?
Listen closely.

Reviews

[George Love]

A philosphic approach to this old question, and I feel many can relate. You did a good job with the use of imagery to make your points.

[Tina Kline]

I often wonder if most people often feel invisible to others from time to time. Great poem and the images you create with your words are beautiful.

[Colleen C Dunphy]

Very philosophical.
I love the imagary and the pacing.

[Breezie Kae]

I like the fact that this is wordy, but not in a bad way. It doesn't clutter up the poem and it still flows. You also have a good sense of where to break into new lines and such. I also like that you use PUNCTUATION. haha. I hate when writers don't use punctuation in poetry because it mashes everything together. Sometimes it works, but not when it's just out of laziness.

"lonely city girl, wandering forest nymph, meandering warrior. "
That's my favorite line. :)