Gone, with a part of me with you

Gone, with a part of me with you

A Poem by Allie :)
"

I kind of tried to set the rhythm of the poem to be jerky, like a *um* heartbeat :) If you read it out loud, tap it out, maybe you'll hear it

"

Your name echos
through my thoughts
like

a

poun-

ding

heart-

beat.

Can't

eat
Can't

sleep
that endless echo
slowely

killing me.

Smile
and laugh.
I try to move on.
Your memory still haunts me.

A whiff of the cologne you wore
a wave of terror
encases me.

I want to scream
but that echo
slides into my mouth
and turns into glue.

I can't escape
this living nightmare.

It ticks me off
that you don't care.
That you don't know.
But I know
if you ever
were to come back
I would run away
as fast
as I could.
And wouldn't look back.

Screaming loud enough
so that noone
could hear me

© 2011 Allie :)


My Review

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Featured Review

You write with great passion. A pure honest voice not trying to sound poetic. A very refreshing read. I am also glad ur main character would turn and run if this person wanted back. Hurting and carrying on is one thing, hurting and surrendering is another. I enjoyed this very much.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This poem is amazing! I love every bit of it, especially the second last stanza :) great write :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


" Screaming loud enough so that no one could hear me ". I loved this and also the quick lines, it made very intense. You did a really good job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


You write with great passion. A pure honest voice not trying to sound poetic. A very refreshing read. I am also glad ur main character would turn and run if this person wanted back. Hurting and carrying on is one thing, hurting and surrendering is another. I enjoyed this very much.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Can't eat, can't sleep
that endless echo slowely killing me."
^_^ this is so sad and beautiful...I love it (:

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love the sharp quick lines. They force the emotion out of the poem to make it even more intense. Awesome job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is really good! I adore your work! x

Posted 12 Years Ago



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289 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on May 10, 2011
Last Updated on May 10, 2011

Author

Allie :)
Allie :)

Right in the middle of Yukon and Mustang :D, OK



About
I am an Allie :) I love to write (duh) and wrote my first poetry about my hampster, Fluffles in the 3rd grade. I am a notorious flirt, but hey! What can I say?! I love the boys! :D But keep in mind,.. more..

Writing