Excerpt

A sliver of light sliced through the darkness. With every plunge, new coats of blood painted the blade, as a gurgling sound protruded through the eerie silence.

As the wielder finished the gruesome task, a soft whimper could be heard in the unholy background, a cry sharing similarities to that of a wounded cat.

            The murderer wiped his blade clean, giving a sardonic smile at the corpse that lay in front of him.

            The body sat against the wall, a long cut running across his throat from ear to ear, large amounts of thick, red liquid pouring out onto his chest and the surrounding carpet.

            The pale white hand reached out above him, one light bulb turning on, the bright light piercing the evil black of the room.

            As the rays filled the bleak box of a room, everything became visible.

The victims face was young, his green eyes unsettling and eternal, his long black hair pushed back to reveal the well-structured face of a once lively man, possibly in his late twenties.

            While the killer busied himself with polishing his ‘miraculous’ knife, the light whimper grew with every second that wasted, until it became a strong sighing heave and finally a breathless, asthmatic sob.

            The young man’s girlfriend was huddled up in a corner, in awe at what she had just been forced to see.

            Permanently damaged, her eyes appeared lost in a completely different world that one never escapes from.

            Rocking herself backwards and forwards, she whispered things to herself, drool dripping out of her open mouth.

            Her long brown hair was sleek and untangled, showing no signs of any manhandling. Bloodshot eyes that showed signs of illegal hallucinogenic drug consumption, examined her long, manicured index finger, as it entered her quivering mouth, violently poking her uvula.

            As the killer, who considered himself an artist, examined the ‘broken’ couple, he picked up his briefcase and left the ‘Sunshine Motel’.

 

 

Reviews

[spence]

Hello Mr M. I've read both this and the re-write and I'm not totally sure which I prefer. This gets to the point quicker, but I much prefer the vocabulary in the re-write as it sets the ominously dark tone more 'poetically', but both are reminiscent of works of horror fiction by shaun hutson, james herbert, clive barker, etc, that i read incessently during my younger days. I think, in general, it works as a prologue as it leaves many questions for the reader to ponder, while being brutally frank about the direction it's going into. Most readers will recognise the formulaic of the genre and horror fans will probably read on. It does leave a sense of 'this has probably been done before', but I think that's practically unavoidable when writing the beginnings of horror/gore stories- it's what comes after that i always look out for. There are many ways to tell a story and many methods by which horror and terror can manifest through words. Let me know when you add to this will ya? It sounds interesting, as I often take a drugs angle in my writings too, (I've done plenty of them to have an understanding of what they do to mind and body!) Take care, spence

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

I liked this. I always love gory horror stories. The killer is so nonchalant about everything. For a minute there, I thought you had made a mistake because you said with each stab the blood hit the walls or something like that, but the man at the time was cutting his victim's throat. Then I saw that not only had he cut his throat, he had stabbed him. Well played!

[Aspiring Angel]

Quite dark but still very intreging. I will be back to read more of this. Blessings, Lesa

[Frances O'Neill]

Apt name for the hotel and oozing with the rays! I liked the last two paragraphs as they had me

mesmerized for at least ten seconds. I liked the description. Good work!

[Mark D. Chevalier]

You...have a dark side my friened...lol

Interesting that the killer left the girl, although I suppose that catatonia has it's advantages when trying to identify someone later.

Chilling indeed...is it cold in here?

Mark

[.:Naiira Harlow:.]

Wow. This one was gorey and so well written. I could almost see everything that was happening. It was very well done.