Voices

A girl hearing voices. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

                     Eyes, cold and dark like the night sky, plead for love when I'm gone,

  Wrapped with the voices of your sins.

                            Lips, subtle lips which go wanting, My lush, lustful Lilith.

Hair, a tormented cascade of brown waves, the water you defiled when you spoke of your betrayal.

                                Skin, like living marble, a statuette of my dreams.

 

        

         I know I cannot break you.

 

 

                          Your clamorous touch makes me experience undeath.

     Your skin turns a sickly blue.

                          While in your watchful eye, you regret not taking me...

 

 

      WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!

 

                     *click*

 

...that look...                ...your skin...

                        ...your eyes...                         ...your face...

 

     ...your lips...                     

       ...your hair...           ...your soul's embrace...

 

...is sold...                          

 ...so cold...                    ...cheap and evil...

 

               ...much hate to love...                     

                        

             

                                  "Yet you are an angel, my guardian, my dove."

 

                      *CALM*

 

 

"Ahhhh, blood everywhere!"                              BLOOD

   "You stupid girl!"

 

                           

                        "Elizabeth, please stand up and tell everyo------SHUT UP!!!!                                 

 BLOOD             

 

                      *trickle*                     

                                    Vomiting      purple                   

                                     "Don't hit me!!!"

                 green      

                                   yellow

 

*Urgh*                                   THROWING UP...

 

                                 "Mommy, I feel sick, please don't hit me!"

 

 

 

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

                                   blood

 

          "No,I'm a good girl!"                                    *SOB*                                  

                                      "I love you"

   *slap slap*                               DEATH                       

 

                          LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Liz?                

                 Liz?                         Eliza----

 

 

          --beth!                  ...ELIZABETH...

 

 

*STOP*

 

"Liz?".........."Elizabeth?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"We were talking about why your friends wanted you to come and see a psychiatrist, but you drifted off."

 

"Oh. Sorry."

 

"So, let me ask you once again, why are you here?"

 

                       ??????????????

 

 

                                    (My mind is bleeding a myriad of thoughts.)

                               (And you are the only one who can cradle them.)

 

                         *click*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I thought the 'click' sound would be a good way of showing how the brain moves from one thing to the other.
Also, the reason the pic I chose for this poem is a grey eye, it's to show how thoughts are often pictured as being wispy and intangible, and here, Elizabeth's thoughts have formed a grey, smoking iris in her eye.

Reviews

[J.Black]

I really, really, really wish that I wrote something like this, or even had the frame of mind to write this.
It''s so well done, I actually think I might favourite this!
It's written so well, I stayed focused until the very last word of click, which by the way WAS a great touch.
Very much indeed, a GOOD read!
Cheers,
keep on writing.
I hope to read more like this from you.
x

[PaperHearts]

Amazing! This poem captured my attention from the very first line and I didn't stop reading it until the very last! I really liked the 'click' concept and the balance between the girl's thoughts and the dialogue.
The formate of the poem was really creative and effective also.
A very intriguing, well-written piece!
~PaperHearts

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very clever poem. Well written. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

You quite clearly have talent. Your formatting of your poems is brilliant, and it really gets the reader's mind reeling. The way you delve into a character's mind is brilliant: you express everything right through their eyes.
Not very many writers have this much passion.

[Voice11]

wow..a very good piece of writing, I couldn't stop reading, it had such great flow with the words. I love how it portrayed how thoughts can just drift and then at its peak of emotional distress can snap back into reality, but all be left inside, not showing on the outside. Great job! its an inspiration to me!

[Starting Over]

SWEETNESS!!! It was sorta crazy but that is what made it so awesome! I enjoyed this alot! It was my kind of weird!

[Bella]

This is so great! The format is really unique and original. Your word paint a picture in my mind; the details are so very vivid. The emotion in this poem is really powerful. Truly an amazing writing!

[KAREN BROWN]

wow so many emotions going threw the mind.from love to hate to life and death.very well captured there are a lot of emotions and thoughts that go through all our minds in such a little time.thank yo for sharing this with me.sorry i haven't read this sooner haven't been feeling well.great job!!!!!

[Wildecat]

You have painted a beautiful picture with your words, an exceptional write.

[Ani Ashford]

The use of your words are much like how a painter uses color, shape, line, texture to create movement from thought to thought. I have used words in the way you have used 'click'. Good write.... emotional, evocative. Keep writing. As you evolve and look back (I have kept my poems from when I was 16), you will see how your mind, soul transform.

Blessings

[Sound]

Very very imaginative. the "Click" is a perfect way to describe the moving from the thoughts to thoughts.