Voices

A girl hearing voices. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

                     Eyes, cold and dark like the night sky, plead for love when I'm gone,

  Wrapped with the voices of your sins.

                            Lips, subtle lips which go wanting, My lush, lustful Lilith.

Hair, a tormented cascade of brown waves, the water you defiled when you spoke of your betrayal.

                                Skin, like living marble, a statuette of my dreams.

 

        

         I know I cannot break you.

 

 

                          Your clamorous touch makes me experience undeath.

     Your skin turns a sickly blue.

                          While in your watchful eye, you regret not taking me...

 

 

      WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!

 

                     *click*

 

...that look...                ...your skin...

                        ...your eyes...                         ...your face...

 

     ...your lips...                     

       ...your hair...           ...your soul's embrace...

 

...is sold...                          

 ...so cold...                    ...cheap and evil...

 

               ...much hate to love...                     

                        

             

                                  "Yet you are an angel, my guardian, my dove."

 

                      *CALM*

 

 

"Ahhhh, blood everywhere!"                              BLOOD

   "You stupid girl!"

 

                           

                        "Elizabeth, please stand up and tell everyo------SHUT UP!!!!                                 

 BLOOD             

 

                      *trickle*                     

                                    Vomiting      purple                   

                                     "Don't hit me!!!"

                 green      

                                   yellow

 

*Urgh*                                   THROWING UP...

 

                                 "Mommy, I feel sick, please don't hit me!"

 

 

 

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

                                   blood

 

          "No,I'm a good girl!"                                    *SOB*                                  

                                      "I love you"

   *slap slap*                               DEATH                       

 

                          LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Liz?                

                 Liz?                         Eliza----

 

 

          --beth!                  ...ELIZABETH...

 

 

*STOP*

 

"Liz?".........."Elizabeth?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"We were talking about why your friends wanted you to come and see a psychiatrist, but you drifted off."

 

"Oh. Sorry."

 

"So, let me ask you once again, why are you here?"

 

                       ??????????????

 

 

                                    (My mind is bleeding a myriad of thoughts.)

                               (And you are the only one who can cradle them.)

 

                         *click*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I thought the 'click' sound would be a good way of showing how the brain moves from one thing to the other.
Also, the reason the pic I chose for this poem is a grey eye, it's to show how thoughts are often pictured as being wispy and intangible, and here, Elizabeth's thoughts have formed a grey, smoking iris in her eye.

Reviews

[J.Black]

I really, really, really wish that I wrote something like this, or even had the frame of mind to write this.
It''s so well done, I actually think I might favourite this!
It's written so well, I stayed focused until the very last word of click, which by the way WAS a great touch.
Very much indeed, a GOOD read!
Cheers,
keep on writing.
I hope to read more like this from you.
x

[Miss Prince]

Ooooooooooooo....
I never knew how to write in such a way that you see it in the movies -- where someone is thinking so many things and you can hear everything while seeing the actual scenes at the same time. But you totally did that here. I love it. Very well done.

[Kaitlin W. Blaylock]

Very powerful.

[Kloud_Nine]

...unique

[Emmie]

Hmm... I get so many thoughts and emotions from this piece. It was a great read for me. I really think that you have great potential in the writing field. You are very gifted and talented and I hope that you continue to write amazing pieces like this in your future. You should never give up on writing. Anyways, I loved this piece and I hope to review other pieces of your similar to this one. Man! If I had the time to write something like this I would!
Keep writing! =)
-Emmie

[scorpion-red]

i enjoyed this piece although the th way it was written physicly made it kindof choppy to read

but other wise i ejoyed it and look forward to reading more of your work if ud like

[Lynx]

Wow, I love this. I like the way the little words and short sentences are seemingly random in their placement, successfully depicting a mental person's messed up thoughts.

xD

Lingga

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

You have a heart of a true poet. I was captivated by this piece. I hope you weren't writing about someone you know. Pain infliced by a parent is the worse kind of pain. Parents are to love unconditionaly. No matter what a child does, sure you punish bad behavior, but abuse is not punishment; it is a crime. Loved this piece. It captivated me and gave me such sadness all at the same time.

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

Choppy in this case is pure brilliance. So creative, interesting! It reminded me of a broken up telephone conversation. This really had me clinging to every word. I salute your brilliance!

[Whitney]

Kudos Kudos Kudos!!!!

This was great!!! Beautiful imagery. Subtle words with intense impact. Gorgeous.

I felt this. Every word made me hang on for dear life until I got to the next.

This is real. The placement of the click, and even the incorporation of the click. It's brilliant.
I wish I had written something as wonderful as this.

Great work! Keep it up. You have certainly got a wonderful gift for writing.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is reality, something some really go through, and the scariest
part is that these voices are a lot of the times brought on my physical
abuse.

This is raw, emotions very vivid, so it makes you really feel.

Good job:)

AD