Just Two Seconds

How dare you make up your mind about me,
I've spent my whole life asking and still have no idea who I am
I am a flower that grows every second,
I just have not learned how to bloom
I am the shining sun obscured by clouds
I am the childs laugh muffled by the hand of society
I am a diffarent species every day
I learn and evolve with every blink of my eyes
How dare you judge me on my past and then freeze me in time

Copyright 'The Human Voice' 2012

Reviews

[Ria Kova]

Hey, you might think I'm overreacting, but...
I've been digging in your writings --- well, sniffing around at first, but a few poems after I was almost craving for them. When I stumbled over your profile I was expecting some brilliant writings regarding the everyday thoughts and worries of us humans. My expectations were fulfilled, and even more. You most definitely deserve the title, if I may call it so, 'Human Voice', as that is exactly what you are and what you do. There are many people out there speaking out, and you are definitely one of those talented individuals who does it in an artistic way and who expresses in a way that we can all feel it and share.
'No borders', 'Dear life', 'Life responds', 'Losing balance', 'Life and death' - these are some of your poems which I enjoyed extremely, and which I keep reading over again and again, as it expresses so well the human spiritual intensity towards politics, to how we all communicate with one another, to how we interact to the world around us and vice versa, and how we respond to it, and of course it underlines our personal beliefs. Everything you write is bursting with energy and represents a strong opinion of an individual, yet it somehow sustains neutrality which allows anyone who reads yours poems to relate it with themselves.
No joking, you really are like a unity of all human voices out there.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Wow. I actually had tingles going down my spine reading your review. I can not thank you enough for your kind words of support and encouragement. I have stated on here before that I kept my writing secret as it began as outlet for emotions that a seven year old should never be feeling. Over time I learnt to form sentence and structure, the first work if ever wrote was called 'Wasted Years', I was 16 and running away from home. I have not read that work in a long time, I think I may have to dust it off and place it on here. Before this I would just write random words or lines just to allow the pain and confusion to escape spill over from my soul to the page, I explain this in my work 'Waiting for the Ships to Come Home'. I kept them secret for many years until a friend found them. I had come home from work to see he had found them, read them and was crying his soul out. I had known him over two years but the conversation we had that day made me realize I had never known him. We talked about childhood abuse, depression and so many emotions that I though were unique to me. I discovered that day that the secret to healing is to share. So upon his encouragement I started putting them on websites but due to a lack of confidence i my work I wrote under the name 'The Broken Child'. As my soul evolved and healed I was no longer a Broken Child so it felt the name was wrong. Another friend recommended 'The Voice of Humanity', that sounded egotistical to me. After discussion we decided that emotions are what make us human and as I was writing about emotion I should be the 'The voice of Emotion', that was rubbish so we fell on 'Human Voice'. I used Mysapce until it became a ghost town and then moved year about 7 months ago. I come here for two reasons.
1) I want to help other haunted young souls as there are two many in this world. Contaminated by the toxins that our society has allowed to seep into it's core. These souls can be detoxed with the help of honesty, compassion and understanding. Just reading the words of some of the real poets on writers Cafe have helped me identify certain other demons that still lurk in my veins.
2) I would like to do something with my words, I have no idea what yet. Here though with reviews and the extreame kindness of YOUR review I gain confidence that they do mean something or hold something. My initial confidence was shattered by vanity publishers like Anchor Books and Forward Press (Do not go there people). I can not explain how much your words mean to me. I am sorry that I have almost written an essay but you inspired me to write. This is the main reason I am here on WC, inspiration there are some amazing souls on here that are brave enough to share their emotion and humanity. Forget trying to rhyme, place stanza, tantric counts or haiku, Just let your heart and soul explode and post the splatter pattern it makes upon paper. This is what poetry genuinely is. Thank you Ria Kova

[Ria Kova]

I'm sitting here in my veranda and smiling at the monitor like a goof, my fingers and toes curled and in chest's feeling all cool and tingly inside. That's the most I can to describe and transfer as qualifiedly as possible just how happy I am to know that my pure honesty has such an impact on you.
Personally I understand you in a way. I had always been what people call 'the right type of person', and almost all the knowledge about the world around comes from other people's experience. Some people may say that my seems 'empty' (that's exactly how they phrase it, though what is that supposed to mean?). The truth is, I live by the concept "Learn from other people's mistakes". From a very early age I've learnt to study people from the inside out, and too soon I've learnt that I am surrounded by intoxicated, as you put it, beings. I began developing thoughts which were far beyond my age. While other kids were interacting with the world around, instead of doing the same I watched them doing it first, and only after I had gathered enough information and processed it through my 'good for me/bad for me' filter I'd then either 'go for it' or 'leave it'. I guess watching the world from aside is what helped me not to become a broken child myself, although was the perfect candidate. I don't think most children from the age of 8 to 12 can survive four years of daily scenes of hardcore bullying till the line of not wanting to go to school, racism to the point of hating your own nation, and not ever being able to look at the mirror without staring at your scars and bruises which never heal. Difficult to believe, but all those thins barely had much impact on me, apart that I had developed a fixed understanding of right and wrong, good and bad.
Is it normal to be the class psychologist at the age of 13? Dunno, but that's how I've been nicked ever since I've moved out of the country I was born it, leaving all the things I've been through behind and starting life from a new page, and finally, for a long time in my life, I wasn't scared of talking. It's been three years now an I an I haven't shut my mouth ever since. That's also when my graphomania had developed. I was eager to express myself in every way I could, now that I had the freedom to do so. Writing was my most beloved way of communication. I remember how I used to have a notebook where I'd write down people's story's and problems and then help them find a solution to it. I studied people around me and became more and more horrified by humanity with each day, sometimes to the point of hating my entire species, but from time to time I meet these wonderful people who give hope about the future.
People like me tend to end up being the cry-shoulder of their social circle. For a long while I was. I am independent from others' problems now though.
Two things I dedicated my teenage life to - education, and helping those around me. I've learnt to not only see the poisoned side of humanity, but also the beauty in each and everyone. Gifting others their inner beauty is what I do. As my new year's resolution for 2013 I've assigned myself for a naive mission to expand my social circle and hopefully help other out there. I became more active on the net: starting blogs, chatting with people etc. and just within this week I've met so many amazing people who were waiting for so long for someone to heal them, encourage them, push them out of their corner.
All of the above would be my SHORTENED version of how I ended up on WC... I've been here only a week, not concentrating much on my own scribbles, only posting my final writings. I've been drafting for so years and now I just feel it's the time to put it all on paper-- or the net at least. Just for myself, not for appreciation. There's nothing much to appreciate anyway - I decided to begin from the easiest and the most bizarre drafts in my project to start with. The reason I really am here, and on several other sites, is because of all these wonderful people with such talents! There are so many people out there who are able to express so much with so little words -- not like myself, sitting here, writing an essay longer than yours, lead by my non-stop burst of positive energy. Some short stories I've read might seem simple and banal, but were able to give me the thrill and the chills as if I've just finished reading a grand novel. Brr!
...Gee, I don't even know how yo conclude all... THIS. I might be a bit cruel, making you read all this, but hey! I have people complaining to me everyday about how they don't understand why doesn't their disgusting, dirty, appalling way of life work out well. So can't I just drain it all out to a random person in the internet? :P Everybody does that nowadays...

[Shadey Jadey]

I love this one so much. I'm pretty sure we all feel this way about other people judging us but you put words to paper.

[Frieda P]

I'm compelled to say so much but after that last review, I'll just say that I love this, says it all in that one stanza. Don't judge me, I'm constantly evolving and growing, I barely know who I am, how could you possibly know me? Excellent read!

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Last review??

[Frieda P]

Ria's spine tingling review below, not much left to say after that. ;-)

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

oh yes indeed lol, I am lucky word Sheppard!

[sirenribbon@thehptshirt..]

No one likes to lay defined. I think this flows distinctive, without hesitation... Nice write. Cheers!!

[AlchemicPlutonian]

I absolutely fing love this.
The first two lines alone are brilliant.
How can you possibly have any clue what I'm about, when I don't even know?

[E.V. Black]

Such is the unfortunate consequence of first impressions. Once people see others a certain way, they are (unfortunately) cemented as such forever in memory. It is a rare thing for people to see things and other people as they truly are. I know nobody has ever told me so to my face, but I have often sensed people making judgements about me. Perhaps I am simply paranoid, yet I couldn't help but think so. Often, I do the same thing; it is a shame. I think we all do so, but I attempt to give people the best chance. I've learned not to cement others in an eternal, unforgiving memory. I've learned that looks can be deceiving.

Wonderfully written. I'll be sure to read more.

[TLK]

This poem contains a central truth about humanity: we see ourselves charitably as endless resources of possibility, and others as shallow pools of repetition. (No wonder some people end up taking it that bit further and assume everyone else is an unimportant automaton that can be treated like dirt: also compare 'solipsism').

As a Psychologist, I am aware of the Fundamental Attribution Error: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error
We come up with excuses for our own mistakes, but when others make mistakes we blame them. We are more likely to say that our successes our causes by us, but the successes of others are down to luck or circumstances.

Just one part of how we endlessly prioritise ourselves above others, while sometimes decrying others for doing the same to us.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Excellent view. This work was partly in response the the constant referring of my past when people asked about my future but mostly a strike out against the theory that the human makes up their mind about a person within the first 5-10 seconds of landing sight upon them. I have to say it is very naughty of you as an academic to reference wikipidia, my lecturer would be very disappointed, ha ha

[TLK]

Wikipedia is good for the basic facts: probably as good as an introductory textbok.

What it is bad at is controvery and opinion. Considering that everything that is most important (i.e. boundary pushing) in science, technology, and philosophy is going to go against the established grain in some way -- although I may have read too much about Thomas Kuhn, leading to me thinking oppositionally about developments in science -- so Wikipedia is terrible for showing the strength of feeling and difference in these areas.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

I have to confess I do use it for inspiration. Textbooks and Journals use lots of made up words! I think it is more that anyone can write anything and there-for there is no evidencial backing. I could go on there now and claim that the Higs Boson was once an extra in Hollyoaks and there would be nothing to stop me, lol. For some reason this world is full of people who like distorting the truth, I suppose it make the archaeological nature of truth finding more fun?

[RachelReaper]

I love this one because I can relate to it so well. People label me all the time and then they get so pissed every time I proved them wrong. I was voted "Most Shy" in my class and the very next day just to prove everyone wrong I tried out for a solo in choir ironically called "Popular" and it was announced that I got it two days later. That was long time ago, though, thank God at least now I'm labeled as "artsy", but I still don't like that, either, because its a box they put me in! sorry i ranted, its just that I really liked this poem a lot!

[Red Brick Keshner]

Wow, to encapsulate that with its explosive intensity from an event that must have been singularly punctuated in your psyche! It's a beaute write and well worth the read and allowed to soak in the soul, affords the reader an education of heart and human relations!

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

An education of heart and human relations, that should be available at all universities! Thank you once again for a detailed review Frederick, it is greatly appreciated.

[Red Brick Keshner]

I wish! There are so many things that can be yet not taught at our finest educational institutions. I should know, having received a couple of degrees in arts and humanities. You are most welcome my friend.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

A couple of degree's wow, I am still working through my first!

[Red Brick Keshner]

As long as you enjoy what your doing, mate. I had to struggle through the first one. Then I wised up, at least I hope I did. Perhaps we have to dig deep and find out within ourselves if what we do is worth the effort and the cost. All the best in your uni career!

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I am the shining sun obscured by clouds'

i loved the visual quality to this poem. yes, we should never judge.fantastic.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

I wrote this piece in about 5 seconds, I was just recovering from my homeless days and was denied a job due to the fact that I looked a mess. The guy was so condemning assuming so much without even asking for the truth. I could feel it building in me and if I had the talent of Andrea Gibson or Daniel Beaty I would have performance poemed his a*s, ha ha, Thank you again.