Ch. 59 Car Rides

Ch. 59 Car Rides

A Chapter by theladygraceling

I don't talk to my mom
as we sit in the car.

But of course
she talks to me.

She talks about anything and everything.

"How are you feeling?"
"How's work going?"
"Are you going out again soon?"
"How's Will?"
"I don't see Mary Elizabeth much anymore."
"Matt seems nice though."
"What happened to that other nice boy you mentioned before?"
"Did you have fun at the party?"

I respond
every now and then.
"Fine."
"Okay."
"Maybe."
"Great."
"So?"
"I guess."
"Nothing."
"Not really."

For the past three weeks
my mother has done nothing
but coddle me.
She has tolerated
my moodiness,
silence,
rudeness,
and has never said anything about it.

So I don't blame her
for finally losing it.

I jump
when she slams her hands
against the steering wheel.

"For God's sake, Riley!"

It's the first thing she's said to me in three weeks
that hasn't been dripping
in annoying kindness.

I look at her.
I don't say anything.
But I think that just makes things worse.

"I am trying
so
hard,
Riley," she says.
"Why do you have to act this way?"

Suddenly I can't take it anymore either.

"Well how do you want me to act?"
It's the longest string of words
I've said to her
in three weeks.
"How am I supposed to act?
What do you expect from me?
What exactly do you what me to do, Mom!"

She looks sad and hurt.
She grips the steering wheel hard,
like she wants to break it off the dashboard.

"You already know what I want you to do."
She isn't yelling anymore
but her voice
sounds so angry
and so frustrated
that it seems even louder than before.

I sit up straight.
I'm not upset
that she's overreacting.
I'm not annoyed
that she won't leave me alone.

I just feel angry.

"NO,"
I say.
"I already said NO."

"You won't talk to me.
You won't talk to your father.
You won't even talk to Johnny.
You need to talk to someone."

"You know,"
she says quietly.
"You know it hurts, Riley.
Watching you hurts."

And then I can't breathe.
All I can hear are screeching tires.
All I can see are bright headlights.
All I can feel is broken glass.

I grit my teeth
so hard it hurts.
My head aches.
I feel a POUNDING
in my head that just won't stop.

It's so hot outside
and inside.
But even with the sun
glaring down on me through the glass,
I'm shivering.

I talk to her through my teeth,
because if I open my mouth
I'll start yelling
and I might never stop.

"Well, I'm sorry you're in so much pain, Mother."

I see the toy store finally
and we begin to pull into the parking lot.
It gives me so much relief that I stop grinding my teeth.
My head stops aching.
I stop shivering.

I just want to get out of the car.
If I could, I'd just fling the door open
and leave while the car is still moving.
But I already have one broken arm.
I don't need another.

But I keep my hand on the door handle
so that I can escape
the second she stops the car.

But when she finally parks,
she doesn't unlock the doors.
She opens her mouth
like she might say something.

But before she gets the chance,
I unlock the doors myself and get out.

Before I shut the door though, 
I turn to her.
"You're the one,"
I say, "that's having so many issues.
Maybe you're the one that should go to therapy
and freaking get off my back."

But I don't say freaking.

And for the first time,
my mom has absolutely nothing to say.


© 2014 theladygraceling


Author's Note

theladygraceling
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted! I've been super busy and kept putting this off but here's a new chapter of Shattered. I'll try to add some more to make up for all the lost time. Enjoy! Thanks for reading.
--theladygraceling

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IT was worth the wait!!! I like the Anger thats throughout this! :-D

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on May 22, 2014
Last Updated on June 10, 2014
Tags: car crash, Riley, Charlotte, Will

Shattered


Author

theladygraceling
theladygraceling

Hagerstown, MD



About
I am seventeen years old. I have always loved reading and have recently started writing my own stories. I also enjoy drawing and sculpting, have taken piano and violin lessons for 10+ years, and have .. more..

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A Chapter by theladygraceling