Power Within

Always knew
I was different
From the other kids
At school.

Although
I did not know why
Until five years ago.

When I realized
I was a transsexual
A woman trapped
Inside of a man’s body.

Struggling through
Years of depression
And self-anger
Because of this
Very fact of nature.

Leading to
Numerous suicide attempts
On my part
Starting before
I was 12 years old.

Even now
I struggle
Against these daemons
Of mine
Which haunts my dreams.

Constantly
Having to reminding myself
My life does not revolve
Around those brutal flashbacks
But the here and now
And I am
In charge of it.

Not some ancient memory
Which can do
No harm to me
Beyond the power
I give it.

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I know how it feels. You did not plan it. You did not intend to be in that body. It is your heart. It is your soul. Your piece is so moving. Keep going. God bless!

[therisa]

Thank you, Dhaye, for your encouragement.

[Tina Louise UK]

It must be a difficult thing to go through. Our bodies are just the shell that holds our souls, sometimes we get given the wrong one, but it's what is on the inside that counts. You are inspiring hunni, try not to let it get you down. Heartfelt piece x

[therisa]

Thank you, Tia, for your supportive and encouraging review. Too many people look at the outer facade, when judging a person, upon their appearance. And there are others, like my mom, who can't accept why a person, like myself, needs to my life, as a woman and not a man.

[Tina Louise UK]

If anyone has a problem with the way you chose to live your life, it's their problem. Try not to let it be yours, stand tall and be proud of who you are.Life is too short to worry about such things xx

[therisa]

I agree. On November 2012, I told my mom, to screw herself, and broke off all relationships with my biological family. Never felt more relieved and scared, at the same time. As my bout of anxiety attacks have dramatically decreased, as a result.

[Tina Louise UK]

It is a sad situation, but seems had to be done. I don't understand parents that don't stick by their children. You may not have to agree but it's your child at the end of the day, nothing could separate me from mine x

[therisa]

Fear and not understanding a child's needs, can be very powerful weapons, a parent can use, against a child, especially a child, who is LGBT.

[Georgiakevin]

This is an inspiring poem, one that could only be written as a result of many fallen tears. You are very brave and wise. Funny how those who are given the same lot in life as you have been given can relate to your experiences and your poem so well, almost like you are able to write the cry of their heart even as they might be too afraid to make that cry.