Headfirst for Sponges - pt1

Headfirst for Sponges - pt1

A Story by The Dark Passenger

the first part of the Squishy trilogies, featuring Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, MBX20 and Green Day



Gerard Way was starting to feel a little left out. It just wasn’t fair that all his friends were engrossed in some exciting activity and he was left alone to his own devices in their lounge away from lounges. What’s more, it was a new lounge away from lounges, which meant he had no idea where the new DVD rack was kept.

            After last week’s disaster involving a very large paper machete Iceberg and their beloved tour bus of 2 years (interestingly enough, the one before that befell a similar spell of terrible luck involving a large paper machete bolder) the band had to fish around for a new bus. And this new bus began to distress Gerard very much indeed.

            Firstly, the bunks were a little more squeezed together and he kept bumping his head on the overhang of Bob’s bunk. The bunks were also a little smaller, exactly 3 inches smaller as Frank had measured after falling from Gerard’s every time he tried to give the lead singer a midnight cuddle. Gerard didn’t mind the inability of Frank’s inability to cuddle him whilst he was unconscious, but the smaller bunk also meant that his Sponge Bob bed spread didn’t fit it very well at all.

            Then of course there was the fact that the kitchen was a terrible shade of lime green. With pink flowers printed into the patterned wallpaper. The combination of the two, as well as the golden-handled-wooden cupboards gave him the most horrific nausea.

            And now, and this was the final straw indeed, Gerard could not find his DVDs. He lifted the remote control and pressed a button lazily, just as he slumped into the bright red couch of the lounge area. To his utter amazement, and it almost made his eyes fall out of his head, the television folded up right in front of him and disappeared into a very small hole in the wall. “I hate this bus,” he groaned, and decided to go on a little hunt for the rest of his band.

            There was Bob who was standing in the nauseating kitchen, apparently trying to perfect his coffee making technique. “Hey, Bob, how’s it-”

            “Shhhhhh!” Bob cut him off with an annoyed tone, holding up one finger in his general direction. The drummer was holding a coffee cup high in the air with one hand, before pouring milk into it from a bright pink jug with the other. The froth lifted in the mug, and he stopped just as it almost overflowed. “Perfect,” he breathed.

            “Can I have-”

            “No!” Bob cut Gerard off once more. “It’s for the Sacred Toast,” he snapped, and turned to place the cup in front of the said piece of bread.

            It was when Bob started telling the brown crust a high-school anecdote that Gerard decided to turn and leave. He walked into the bunk area and saw Frank. The little thing was curled up in his bed, covered up to his neck in the pink Hello Kitty duvet and sucking on his thumb. “Wow,” Gerard whispered to himself, his eyebrows raised. “That would be cute if he wasn’t thirty,” he breathed.

            Closing in on Ray’s room, Gerard could hear the sound of incessant typing, which the lead singer interpreted as the sounds of the lead singer playing some exciting PC game. “Ray!” Gerard called out as he knocked on the door. “What’re you doing?”

            The clicking ceased immediately. “Uh…” Ray’s voice sounded a little hesitant from behind the door. “Nothing, go away,” Ray was writing a Frerard… under the assumed identity of Renee Starlight, a 14 year old cheerleader from Long Island.

            “I heard typing!” Gerard whined, leaning his head against the door.

            “I was e-mailing Rob Thomas,”


            “Go away!” Ray screamed at the top of his lungs, and finally, Gerard decided to oblige.

            He found his way towards the games room where he heard Mikey cheering excitedly. “Yeah! I rule at this game!” His little brother squealed.

            Without knocking, Gerard came barging into the room to find his brother kneeled down in front of the large plasma screen with a death-grip on a PS2 controller. “What’re you playing?” Gerard asked excitedly.

            “Um…” Mikey pondered for a moment. “Resident Evil,”

            “You were cheering to Resident Evil?” His big brother raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Yes,” he replied, side glancing. “It’s just that I get so caught up in the action and suspense of killing Vampires,”

            “You kill zombies in Resident Evil,” Gerard put in.

            “I meant zombies,”

            “You’re playing Barbie Horse Adventures again aren’t you?” The lead singer asked, crossing his arms.

            “No, why would you say that? It’s just like you to-” Mikey stopped just as Gerard stepped up next to him to look at the pink and purple screen. “Yesiwasplayingbarbiehorseadventures,” Mikey mumbled, putting his head in his hands.

            “You’re a 9 year old girl,” Gerard scoffed.

            “Shut up, this is a really good game okay, it’s exciting and there’s horses and you get to pick what colour their manes are- and you get to choose if you want them to have stars on their asses… or snowflake patterns. Or hearts,” Mikey started to stare dreamily at the screen then, pressing random buttons on his console as he designed himself the perfect pony.

            “Whoa, really?” Gerard asked, kneeling down next to him and staring at the screen with the same drone like expression. “Can you name your horse?”

            “Yeah, mine’s called Rainbow Hunnypuff,” Mikey giggled. “And now I have to go save the other horses from the old windmill,”

            “No, wait, you should put hearts on her mane!” Gerard made a grab for the console, only to have it pulled away roughly.

            “No way! Her name’s Rainbow, so she has rainbows!” Mikey shouted angrily as they became waged in a tug-of-war for the console.

            “Nobody cares, Mikey, your horse designing skills are lame!” Gerard shouted back.

            “You take that back!”


            A few busses and a tent away, Rob Thomas was checking his e-mails. “Yo, Robert,” Paul said as he walked into the study to stand behind his lead singer. “Any new e-mails?”

            “No…” Rob answered, though his eyes were still glued to his laptop. “Well, I keep getting these e-mails from a Renee Starlight,” he muttered unaffectedly. “She keeps sending me these Frerards…”

            “Well, that’s super, but in other news, Kyle is still waiting to destroy you at Guitar Hero in the lounge,” Paul replied lucidly as he began shuffling around the room, picking up books off the shelf only to grimace and put them back.

            “He’s lost to me 15 times already,” Rob whined, shutting off his laptop computer. “It’s getting old,”

            “Could you please just go before he sets up DDR instead?” Paul replied.

            “Guys! I’ve set up DDR, everyone’s playing!” Kyle’s voice called out from the other room.

            Both Paul and Rob hung their heads and sighed. “I’m coming,” Rob groaned as he left the room. Paul made a face and continued to meticulously pick up things and look under or in them. “Paul, get in here!” Rob’s voice shouted out as some horrendous sounding techno music started playing in the next room.

            “Hang on!” Paul said as he pulled open cabinet drawer after cabinet drawer. “Where can it be?” He whispered to himself. “Dudes!” He called out suddenly, “Has anyone seen my sponge octopus?”


            The said sponge octopus, otherwise known as Squishy, lay peacefully in the arms of Frank Iero who lay peacefully asleep in his Japanese bought bedspread. He was concealing it, even now in his unconscious state, because Ray had expressed a deep distaste for the little thing that only kept reminding him of his bald patch.

            Frank suggested that it shouldn’t matter since Ray did a very good job covering the unsightly space with a well placed comb-over, but it didn’t matter to the lead guitarist, the sponge still had to go. But staring down at Squishy’s big googly eyes, Frank could not oblige. And so, instead of tossing out the little thing, Frank decided to keep it instead. To the knowledge of no one but himself of course!

            What Frank didn’t know was that Squishy had been in the company of many Rock Stars, and he certainly wasn’t Squishy’s first owner. At the age of 3, Paul Douchette of Matchbox Twenty was gifted the little Sponge Octopus who he named Sarquest Maximillian the Third. But Squishy preferred to be known as Squishy. And ever since that moment, Paul had never been able to take a bath or shower without it.

            Following Paul on the tour, Squishy had the chance to meet many Rock Stars, but always in more compromising situations to the poor demise of little Squishy. Bono met Squishy when he had to use Matchbox Twenty’s shower facilities because his own such facilities had failed him. Squishy did not mind this, for Bono was one of Squishy’s heroes ever since he was but a fragment of plastic and coloured sponge. Then there was the incident of Squishy becoming misplaced and ending up in Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ tent and being used as a bath time mate by the long-haired lead singer. Squishy did not mind this either, for he loved anyone with long hair. And then there was the incident where Squishy was forgotten by Paul one day and placed outside on the step of their make-shift mass of trailers and tour busses. And it was then that Squishy met a red-painted Tre Cool, and was abducted, and was taken back to their tent. Squishy minded this very much. In fact, Squishy minded it so much that he quite nearly risked his life to escape his new owner’s clutches.

            It was only a day after he landed in the hands of Green Day’s drummer, Tre Cool, that Squishy flew into My Chemical Romance’s old tour bus. This was alright, and even though he was somewhat hurt by Ray’s choice to exile him, Squishy took comfort in the clutches of Frank Iero; the 5 foot 4 rhythm guitarist from New Jersey. And so it was that Squishy was allowed to live (in secret) in My Chemical Romance’s new tour bus.  


            Green Day was not allowed a new tent. Or another Tour Bus. According to their manager who handled the funds involving such matters as homes away from homes, Green Day had destroyed exactly 5 tour buses and 19 tents during this one tour alone. Billie Joe Armstrong tried pleading with the toupee wearing man in white alligator skin shoes, but it was helpless. Especially because Billy Joe couldn’t quite hold his tongue and made a joke about the man’s toupee and white alligator skin shoes.

            “Where are we going to live?” Mike groaned, tossing his arms in the hair to show his utter outrage. “This Warped Tour doesn’t end for another month!”

            “He says he’s not going to get us another bus, and that we would have to bunk in with other bands if we want to get anywhere… or have shelter,” Billie explained, looking up at an ominous looking sky.

            “It’s not fair, I bet you made another joke about our manager’s shoes again didn’t you?” Mike snarled angrily.

            Billie Joe side-glanced, “No,” he muttered hesitantly.

            “You always do this!” Mike screamed. “I’m going to go live with the Foo Fighters!” he announced, picking up his pillow and suitcase. “They understand me!”

            “Yeah, well,” Billie stuttered as he stood up half-triumphantly, “I’m going to go live with Fall Out Boy with Tre Cool,” he nodded at the drummer who sat between them, looking like a worried school boy.

            “What? You can’t decide that!” Mike growled, “Tre’s coming with me!”

            “No way!” Billie snarled back. “He’s my drummer!”

            “He’s my drummer!” Mike said.

            “Okay, wait,” Billie raised his hands in the air, “You get him Monday to Wednesday and I get him Thursday to Sunday,” he suggested. Tre Cool on the other hand stared up at both of them with big puppy-dog eyes, looking utterly terrified as they continued to yell at each other.

            “No way! Why do you get him during the weekend?” the bassist shouted. “It’s not fair!”

            “Nothing’s ever fair to you!”

            “Shut up!” Tre Cool said, tears streaming down his cheeks as he got up. “It’s all my fault isn’t it?” He sobbed. “I hate you guys!” and with that, he took off running into the maze of tents and tour busses and trailers.

            “Tre!” Billie Joe yelled out as he watched the distraught drummer disappear. “Come back! You forgot your sweater!” he said, “You’ll catch a cold!”

            “Stop mothering him,” Mike snarled.

            “Why don’t you stop… being… you…” Billie Joe struggled at a come back, making the bassist raise an eyebrow at him. “Because you suck,”

            “You’re a jerk!” Mike turned his nose up at the lead singer he used to work so well with and picked up his things to walk towards the Foo Fighters area.

            “Your face is a jerk!” Billie called out before grinning to himself. “I am so good with come backs,” he smiled, picking up his things to walk towards the Fall Out Boy area.


            Pete Wentz was not home at the time that Billie Joe was knocking on the door of his band’s tour bus however. In fact, Patrick and him were too busy sneaking around the outside of the new My Chemical Romance tour bus. “Wow, this is such a cool bus,” Patrick whispered to Pete.

            The bassist only replied with a distant “Hmmh,” as he continued to peek through the windows.

            “We should get one just like this,” Patrick continued dreamily, now inspecting the decorative decal on the side of the bus, “I bet they have a really cool kitchen too,” he said.


            “Wow… it even tastes of skittles,” Patrick announced after licking the side of the bus.

            “Hey, check it out!” Pete yelled out suddenly, pointing to something hidden behind tinted glass. “They have KFC!”

            “Coooool…” Patrick said dreamily. “Do you think they’ll let us have some? I’m starving!” He said. Patrick wasn’t exaggerating, after leaving Hemmingway the bulldog alone in the band’s tour bus, their entire food supply had become non-existent. Now they were left to scavenge the Warped Tour set up until something edible came their way. And something edible… perhaps arguably… was sitting on My Chemical Romance’s kitchen bench, wrapped in a red and white box.

            Pete smacked Patrick across the face. “We’re not going to ask you idiot!” He said. “We’re going to take!”

            “But that’s stealing!” Patrick whined, holding the side of his face.

            “It’s called natural selection, Patrick… if we don’t eat, we don’t survive… we have to survive… we have to take what is rightfully ours! We have to live! We have to dine!” And with that, Pete snuck through the bus doors with Patrick trailing behind in a rather confused fashion.

             The inside of the My Chemical Romance tour bus seemed to have an eerie glow as they snuck around towards the kitchen. Still, somehow, Patrick and Pete managed to tip toe past Bob as he exited the kitchen, talking to a square piece of bread in his hand. Pete thought this was strange… but managed to hold back a laugh.

            Before they knew it, they had their paws around the bucket of fried chicken and were almost out of the bus when Pete’s eyes caught a glimpse of something shining back at him from the bunk area. “What the hell is that?” He murmured, but Patrick was too busy chewing to hear. Pete’s curiosity got the better of him and he stepped closer and closer to the glistening object.

            The glistening object was in fact Squishy’s right eye that had caught the sunlight as it streamed through an open window just above Ray’s bunk. “Oh my God,” Pete whispered with a stunned expression on his face. “This guy is spooning an Octopus!”

            Patrick nearly choked on his piece of chicken and began coughing and sputtering all over the place whilst clutching the bucket at his side. “What?” He wheezed in between terrible choking sounds as he began fisting at Pete’s t-shirt out of desperation for some sort of relief. All the sounds inevitably woke up poor old Frank who rubbed his eyes to see two Fall Out Boy musicians staring down at him, one of which was turning a dark shade of purple.

            “What the?” Frank murmured just as Pete bent over and snatched the octopus from his clutches. “No! Dr. Octo!” Frank screamed out as he watched them run out the bus. Squishy could only watch the 5’4” guitarist call out pathetically after him like a distraught child. Squishy sadly wished he had the chance to keep his new name for just a bit longer. After all, Dr. Octo was such a stylish name!

            Just as Pete and Patrick left the bus and rounded Dave Ghrol’s trailer, Patrick began to suffer from involuntary convulsions. It seemed unfair that their sudden streak of luck had to end this way, and only grudgingly did Pete stop to check on his friend and lead singer. However, the moment a door nearby flung open and a voice called out “Stop! Thief!” Pete dashed off in the opposite direction, leaving Patrick to fend for himself as he squirmed helplessly on the ground.

            To otherwise pin drop silence, except for the terrible gagging sounds that he was making, Patrick contemplated his fate morbidly. Just once, Patrick thought, it would be nice if every tour they ventured on didn’t have to end with him convulsing on the ground with a bucket of chicken under one arm.



© 2008 The Dark Passenger

Author's Note

The Dark Passenger
ignore grammar problems lol... i've been rushing this story :P

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i luv MCR so when i seen this story i fell in love

Posted 12 Years Ago

wow. that was good. I love MCR and Green day do kudos and much applause to you!! Gerard is my favorite so that made me super excited. I love how crazy you made everybody and how you incorparted the Frerard into the story. I love how Mikey liked to play Barbie. Ray was sending Frerard stories!!! yay! I also loved how Frank had a little octopus and then you made Frerard!! so excited about that!! Definetely a good interesting story. MCR is my favorite band ever so this is really cool for me. I just love it. Billi Joe made fun of alligator shoe man!! It was really sad how Gerard was bored. I love Gerard!! I think that you like used the names but then gave everyone their own personality kinda different from the real ppl. just cuz G. was mean to M. but that was super-duper good. Why do people not know who Frerard is? Frerard is classic.

Posted 14 Years Ago

Oh my f*****g God. I so love you. This is so an amazing story!

I'm gonna note it so you know EXACTLY what I thought...

...and Frerard? Frank + Gerard?

Posted 15 Years Ago

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Oh My God!!! I love it!!! Poor Frank, he keeps getting everyone in trouble.... I have one question though: What is a Ferard? And why is Ray sending them to Rob? but other than my questions, I thought it was REALLY good and funny and I love it!! =P

Posted 15 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 13, 2008
Last Updated on May 13, 2008