faces.

faces.

A Poem by thundershine
"

The struggle within

"

Different faces I see,

All looking back at me.

Their twists and grins

Bring me such chagrin

As my bones rattle within me.

One is happy and free of worry,

She smiles and shines in all her glory.

One is afraid and cracked at the seams.

She is full of empty sonatas and broken dreams.

Another is full of deep sadness and pain,

Torrents of the past fall like bitter rain.

While still another is dreamy in far off spaces,

She dreams of wonderful adventures in far off places.

Which face will I see looking back at me?

I don't know each time I look you see.

These faces under eyes of the oceany-blue sea,

I fear they are mocking me.

© 2015 thundershine


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"One is afraid and cracked at the seams.
She is full of empty sonatas and broken dreams."
...I really like those lines. This is really good. I think it could scan a little better here and there but that would be pedantic - it reads well as it is and it would only mean a slight tightening in perfection, as it were. I think poetry is at its best when concerned with real feeling and exploration of understanding, and this poem achieves that level of intelligence. And it hints rather than states, suggests rather than explains - in any case, whomsoever believes they can explain the soul is not asking the right questions...
The ending is rather fine. Good work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


thundershine

8 Years Ago

thank you! Yes, the soul is the most unexplainable thing :)

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Added on July 7, 2015
Last Updated on July 7, 2015
Tags: faces, struggle, sorrow, mirth, love, pain, hope, future

Author

thundershine
thundershine

PA



About
I am a traveler on this spinning mud-ball we call earth. more..

Writing