That Dark Colour

For a contest.

Lights and sounds and colours and magic, 

but to no avail could a blind man see them 

Night's shade, not the plant, leafy and green,

the literal definition of night, dark and feared 

Dark so revered by the blind man for what he lives with, 

it's always midnight, magic gone from him 

Author's Note

Feedback appreciated!

Reviews

[Philip Smith]

The poem is easy to understand, which in its own right is a strength. However, with that in mind, it's best to make sure each line is impactful in purpose. For example, there are different parts of the poem that could pop much more through simplicity.

"Light and sound, color and magic,
To no avail could the blind man see them
Night's shade, not the plant, leafy and green,
The definition of night, dark and feared
So revered by the blind man, for what he lives
It's always midnight, magic gone from him"

The added sharpness adds to the feel and despair of the blind man's situation with the message staying the same.

Hope this helps a bit.

[Addict With a Pen]

"dark and feared" I like that. How a color can bring fear into people, almost hiding all other colors. I also like how you represented all other colors as magic. Reminds me of confetti at a carnival, or glitter at a magic show. You twisted the color to seem so haunting, a thing nobody wants to see, but a curse some people are stuck with. I would add more descriptive details, something that would really catch my attention. I also agree with Philip Smith about the smoothness of this poem. Maybe following some bit of that outline he left would make for a smoother poem. Overall, I like the content of the poem... it's spectacular! A meaningful and captivating piece about a color and what it represents.

[Lovecraft]

Simple, a bit short but fairly profound in terms of Sight. I understand this was likely composed for a contest but still it stands on its own. I enjoyed the little descriptions of certain sights and then you revert back to the blind man.

Overall, a fairly good poem. I liked it, the Theme of Darkness and such. Dark, whether literal or metaphorical, is my bread and butter. ;)