Fade

'Dear me' poem

I have heard more birds than you,

singing in more springs.

I have seen more morning dew

On petals, and dragonfly wings.

I have said more empty words.

thought more thoughts.

dreamed more dreams.

I have hurt more hearts than you,

Brought stinging tears

And screams.

Everything that you could see, 

you captured in your eyes.

Staring out through cloudy time,

A veil of gossamer sky. 

Each melody and whispered word

You trapped inside your mind.

You caged them up like tender birds

Some restless, dim, or blind.

I don’t have much to say to you

To guide your raindrop feet.

I’ve lost the bits and pieces

Where past and present meet.

But Spring won’t last forever,

And you, you'll fade away.

Time will seep into your bones

With every draining day.

Friends will turn to strangers

Wounds will fade to scars,

Candy turns to alcohol

And bikes turn into cars.

Secrets lose their shining charm

And start to swell with shame.

Pain is more than scraped-up knees,

And War is not a game.

Holding hands turns into sex,

You lie awake in bed,

The monsters in your closet

Move to fill your head.

The mirror is more than shiny glass,

Your face is painted on.

People only look for you

When all of you is gone.

Every autumn, blossoms fold

Then bloom again in May.

They’re new again despite the cold

But you, you'll die away.

Time will swirl beneath your skin

And dull your eyes and speech.

The summer light will grow less sweet

And the past falls out of reach.

So breathe, breathe in your youth’s perfume

And watch its colors brim.

Keep quiet freshness close to you,

Until the world grows dim.

Author's Note

Critique is welcome

Reviews

[Alessander]

Excellent poem. I really like the letter to younger self genre. It always makes for interesting reading, and this didn't disappoint.

Some poignant lines throughout .I esp loved this part

Pain is more than scraped-up knees,
And War is not a game.

Holding hands turns into sex,
You lie awake in bed,
The monsters in your closet
Move to fill your head.

This portrays the loss of innocence and almost suffocating oppressing tentacles of time. If only pain can vanish as simple as slapping a bandaid and eating an ice cream, but those days are gone, and we must now face the abyss, often alone, confused and wounded.

The rhymes and flow are natural, and add to the slight nostalgic mode, which contrasts well with the harsh subject.

Had to re-read the title. Not sure if the child is fading, or the adult.

Or maybe both.

And if it's description, or an imperative.

Either way, it's a great title for the piece.

Awesome stuff. Rare 100/100 from me.

[Alexandra W]

Thank you for the review! It's great to know how my poem affects the reader!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

again my feelings below are today also, thanks for this beautiful piece of work
thanks for entry into my other competition, good luck x

[Correspondence]

Gorgeous, just wonderful. As an aspiring poet, I can say that there is definite color to this amazing piece :)
(Love the profile picture by the way)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Wow beautiful just beautiful words escape me thanks for entering my competition

[April Blue]

Wow, I really love this poem.. It's pure genius.. I love the descriptive words and the clear message that you are sending with this amazing piece... I had to share it on my facebook and twitter, other people need to read this wonderful poem..

[Onlyme]

Wow, what can I say? Magically enchanting, engrossing. As well as grimly dark with sparks of light or flickers of embers of remembering. Very well executed, performed and joy to read.

[Alexandra W]

thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it!