Stay

walk away

Stay

As people passed by, 
footsteps lift to far away 
from less cared strangers 

from this diff'rent place 
I've seen a piece of heaven 
where I choose to stay. 

As solitude smiles, 
I sit in this friendless day 
empty words to say. 

Common walks went by,
 'til you came and perch with me 
a fond drifter's stare. 

With such tender smiles 
vouch a friendly company 
braced me to get by

gazeless stare then dwell 
mirthful song to us befall 
like a timeless chime. 

Bliss of sunset came 
fallin' to this paradise 
our stay's near goodbye. 

As our ways depart 
this li'l sweet memory lasts 
a promise to stay.

Author's Note

..this is an art of reminiscing the past
inspired by the song 'awake'-second hand serenade
=]

Reviews

[Fréyjä Helv..]

A simple heartfelt poem yet beautifully written... How touching. Took me to place where serenity is the only air I breathe... nice work...

[RFDIII]

I feel the grammar of this poem is a bit murky. In more than one place I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to describe. But in a way, that's okay, if that's what your intention for the poem is. In this poem however, I feel that wasn't exactly what you were going for, and is the reason why I bring it up.

That being said however, other than a few grammatical choices, the message comes across quite sentimentally, and it's obvious that you want, only for your lover to stay.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I like the description. Took me to good places and memories.
"Bliss of sunset came
fallin' to this paradise
our stay's near goodbye. "
I like the desire and the hope in the ending. A promise to stay are the sweet words we need to hear. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Gene Hiccup]

nice of you to write a poem inspired by one of my favourite song, the imagery you posed in the poem is almost akin to what i imagine about it.

[Barbara Walker]

Connecting with someone, however briefly, can make your heart soar. Because there ARE so many "less cared strangers" in this world. You have a unique way of wording your writing. Personally, I find unique to be a great way to be! Nice write!

[Marie]

Sometimes only a memory promises to stay.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

And that comment isn't pretentious? By the way, I've read some of your work and you're right - you're a FANTASTIC writer. I'm LITERALLY blown away. Wow!

[Marie]

As well you should be.

[Calibaster]

I like it, I wrote one about the past too.

[Michael X]

the words flow with a melancholy sense of melody, to define a fonder time
to a point of letting go, to walk away for unspoken reasons, stunning job :)

[CHRIS ANDES]

thanks michael
=]