The Reveal

I have had extreme difficulty with the second to last line, any suggestions?

The rage builds inside me

I feel it growing with each pitiful story told across the circle

I want to scream, to shout, to let it all out,

To say that their stories are all pitiful,

That they have no idea what pain and suffering is

Or happiness and loss,

Or sadness and gladness

A true poem is none across this circle

Therapy is poetry is therapy is poetry is therapy is poetry is therapy is poetry is...

Reviews

[Madame Murrell]

I could feel this poem. I think it's about people who think they have it sooo hard in life, when in reality, the stuff that they whine about is so tiny and pathetic compared to the stress and hardships that other people are forced to deal with in life. Some people complain about such petty crap when there are many people who are completely unfortunate and are in worse situations that they could possibly ever imagine. It's like a teenager from a middle class household crying over a pimple, when there's a poor, parentless teenager in Haiti who can't even afford a bar of soap to properly clean himself. You just want to tell those type of people, that "their stories are all pitiful, that they have no idea what pain and suffering is"...thats my interpretation of this poem. I also love how you made the words smaller and smaller towards the end. It was artful and cute

[tmasse]

Thank you, im glad you were able to see the message :)

[lovelife]

Wow I can relate with this, It's very raw
I have to admit people think they understand what ur going through and they really don't

[Emunah June.]

The poem itself conveys alot of very raw, very rough emotion, and I know that when writing pieces like this, finding the right words is hard. The last line really speaks to the infinite feedback loop one can get stuck in when dealing with things like depression, sadness, all those things...I can personally speak from experience. Try not to overthink raw emotions, it'll only complicate your work. Keep writing just like this, it testifies to something much deeper.

[tmasse]

Thank you very much, i am glad that you caught on to the themes i was trying to portray