Finality

BAng

baNG

bANg

BanG

As i lie there,

Recollecting what could have been,

Should have been,

Would have been,

I find that now,

As the blood pours from the open wounds,

I shall finally know peace…

Or so i thought,

For then i wake,

To find the world

As it was, as it is,

In turmoil,

A world of pain and hate,

And suddenly,

My nightmare of many nights past,

Becomes a paradise,

And that dream

Will never return again,

For now it is better than reality.

Yet still I try

To escape to the dream world,

The land that i fly,

The land that i die,

Yet it is lost to me,

Like neverland is to an aging child

I am tortured by reality.

Forced to never have the....

Initiative,

To pull the trigger myself.

Reviews

[Madame Murrell]

I like the poem, it's great. Oh, and by the way, I read the review/comment you left on my story. I wasn't looking for someone to correct my typos because I wasn't done yet, I just wanted to get people's opinions about the story, you should try sharing your opinion next time, not just check grammar

This was the line that spoke to me the most
"Like neverland is to an aging child
I am tortured by reality."

[tmasse]

Yea sorry about that, i just was trying to help, really good story tho!

And thanks

[Kyline Freed]

This is great! I love how you expressed your opinions in the writing!

[Emunah June.]

Woah. Those last lines carry alot of the power and weight the poem presents, which is awesome, because he it delivers a hardcore suckerpunch right in the reader's gut. It's almost like the poem itself is light and airy in it's deliverance of sense, but the last few lines (from "forced to have....to pull the trigger myself") are really heavy. The poem overall feels both hopeful and hopeless, and thats why I love it. A walking contradiction that seems to, somehow, clearly explain itself. Nicely done!