The Woman Without A Heart

Written in 2011...

Do you know which is my favorite picture of her?

It was the one when she had shaved all her beautiful hair off

There was such a sadness in her eyes, a vulnerability

An expression that she couldn't believe what she had done

Able to recall it as clearly as if I had seen it yesterday

Black and white and devastated

Leaving behind marks upon her own satin flesh

Soon to cover them with layers of ink

So many loved ones who had held her and left her

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

And I can almost see every single droplet of sorrow

Her hugging herself in an empty bed

A bed that still carried the scent of what once was

Hands sliding across sheets in search of warmth

Then forced into a situation that had forever changed her

Made to doubt herself, pushed beyond human limitations

Taught to like the pain, to crave it

All the while unable to forgive herself for what had transpired

Adding to a mountain of anguish and insecurities

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

But still she tries, warring for herself

She raises her chin and chooses to walk forward

Although no one could blame her if she should buckle to her knees

No one in this world stronger than her, her who still stands

That earned strength that bears no voice

Locking it all away, harboring it within her

Wears a smile, hopes for the best, seeks the light

Allowing others to drain what is already so fragile

Vamp blood from a body that has bled enough

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

And is it so wrong for me to love her?

I beg for the answer, plead to understand

Am I fool to adore each shattered piece?

To want to wrap my arms around them all

Hold her tight in that empty bed where she cries

Whisper between feather kisses that she will be alright

That she doesn't have to suffer in complete silence

When my soul listens, when it aches to be of use

Why does she repress one who prays to stay?

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

Now it is I who lies alone and weeps

Tears of agony that are not only for me but are for her

Wishing with all that I am that I could reach and pull her into me

Show what thrives deep inside, how it breathes of life

Prove myself, have her believe that I am for her

Knowing I can't take away a lifetime of pained disregard

But knowing that I could shine a beacon into the dark

Never will I forgive myself for leaving her side

And it hurts so much to love her that I beseech the jagged blade

To gladly take her place as the woman without a heart

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

I feel too tired, too vulnerable, too everything you wrote to even leave a proper review. Your words touched me deeply. As for me, I am learning that it is I that needs to comfort that hurting little girl inside me that lost her heart. Each day I hold her on my lap and speak words of affirmation. The little girl inside wants to be known, believed and released.

[Dolce Vita]

Such raw emotion here; I love the image of the woman shaving off her hair and covering herself in ink to atone for what has been done to her. A beautiful way to deal with a dark subject.

[Rusteangi Ruba]

I AM A WOMEN ,EVERY PAIN OF A WOMEN IS MY ALSO PAIN. I JUST REALISED IN YOUR WORDS HOW AWOMEN SUFFERED

[GypsyGhost]

Such an authentic flow. Your words truely took me captive and brought me face to face with truths longed suppressed in my own soul. You have a true talent and I'm so thankful to have stumbled across this piece. I look forward to reading more from you! Thank you for sharing this.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Much appreciated, Gypsy. Touched to see that even the older pieces I've written can still captivate. Thank you for reviewing!

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

Your words flow effortlessly throughout the whole poem. The title is like an ocean and the stanzas are like the waves. Each word is a sea creature taking part in the whole sea.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you very much, Willow. Such a lovely way to view this piece.

[Sondering Star]

This is so beautiful and exquisite, so much tenderness for such raw pain. I've fallen in love with the poet behind these words, who truly must be a great person.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you so dearly, Song.

[SZHZIA]

So interesting writing! The poet portrayed a woman who is alone and always lives alone. and when the poet is not able to see her in such condition and tied to keep away her sorrow through love. I also always care for such persons who are in sorrow and got grief in their past. The title of this poem is much interesting in the sense that when one has lost everything in his/her life, he/she becomes without heart and do not believe easily on anyone. But what the poet has feelings, emotions and attachment with her is inspiring. Nice job,.. Keep writing. I also thanks for sharing such beautiful writings. :-)

Best
Szhzia

[Philip Muls]

Very strong writing. Authentic and heartfelt.

[Paul Bell]

Simply brilliant. You couldn't paint it any darker than it is.
Stark, yet with strength running through every fibre of it.
A story that needs to be told. Well penned.

[ReedWrite]

Very touching. Very moving.
Tender...rich with emotion...yet layered with pain.
You wrote it beautifully.