Invasion

Invasion

A Story by TopHatGirl
"

A contest to write a cliche prologue to a story you will never finish.

"
Rain spat on my face as I got in the taxi. I gave a mental middle finger to the grey sky above me.
"The high school, thanks," I bark.
Great, another demanding, impatient, teenage b***h, the taxi driver thinks. Yeah, f**k you too.
I watched the raindrops slide down the window, begging me to come out again, so they can ruin the hair I spent an hour on. It takes about ten minutes to pull up on the curb, and on the way out a shove a one hundred in his fat sweaty hands. Heh, a rich b***h, though. Taxi drivers are the worse people ever.
I step out onto the sidewalk, hitching my messenger bag higher up on my shoulder. Lauren greets me with a smile. I like Lauren. She might have annoyed mental remarks about me, everyone does, but she genuinely thinks highly of me. It took a lot of brain poking with many people to find that out.
"You look nice today, Kate," she tells me. I smile.
"Thanks. Love your earrings. They look antique," I say.
Found in a scummy thrift shop, but close enough, she thinks. She doesn't know about my specialty, but I think she has suspicions. That's why she tries very hard not to fantasize about Brad during math.
Yes, we're typical teenage girls.
Doesn't keep me from having massive headaches and screaming in my room sometimes.
My parents got me my own apartment once the voices started coming.
I've always had the voices.
But until my 14th birthday, they were whispers.
I think I'll paint with my fingers today...
that glue looks yummy
my leg hurts
why doesn't he look at me?
I hate school.
I look fat.
 I usually thought everyone had these voices. I couldn't be more wrong.
High schooler's thoughts are worse.
Damn his a*s is fine...
f**k school...
goddamn what is this throbbing pain in my stomach?
I would f**k her all day...

It's completely vulgar.

Do I want it to stop?

Not really.

I like hearing the real thoughts.

Jock says he's not cheating?

He totally is, and he doesn't regret it one bit.

“Tough” chick doesn't care what others think?

She obsesses over every look someone gives her every time.

“It's not you, it's me...” Lie.

You can see why I have issues with boyfriends.

But when Lauren and I walked in that first day of sophomore year, something completely threw me off guard. The guy sitting next to me in Calculus gave me one look.

Look, a confident girl in advanced math. Let's watch her totally fail.

Was he thinking about me? He's looking right at me.

I flip him off, and sit as far away from him as I can. What an arse. I peek in his brain to see if he's spewing more insults.

Oh look, another mind invader. This year will be interesting...his thought is sarcastic and loathing and-

Wait, what?

© 2010 TopHatGirl


Author's Note

TopHatGirl
Yeah, cliche.

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Reviews

hmm, maybe not so much cliche.... from the git, the reader is right inside the characters head, which is where a story like this is supposed to be, so BAM.
The dialogue is realistic and that's where all the fun can happen. Spoken word, thought word, interspersed with all kinds of action. Lots to play with.
you turn it and leave it on a hanger.... tease. But a great way to pull the reader into more or another chapter. If it's done well, it doesn't matter how cliche it is.
Great concepts and breezy flow. Keep knockin' 'em out of the park THG

Posted 13 Years Ago


Funny, well-written, leaves me interested to read more. A great introduction. Who cares if it's cliche?

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is good.. this is really good >.> I have to say coming into this I was a big skeptic, "cliche" is a hard word for people to get.. but I think you get it :)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on December 16, 2010
Last Updated on December 16, 2010

Author

TopHatGirl
TopHatGirl

[Redacted], NV



About
Hi, I'm TopHatGirl! If you're here about my character lessons or to get some advice, email me instead of messaging at [email protected]. This is because I don't go on this site as much anym.. more..

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chapter one chapter one

A Chapter by TopHatGirl


chapter two chapter two

A Chapter by TopHatGirl