Innocence

  I've always spent a long time bleeding. Self harm is beautiful, I believe. The will to control your actions, how you die, if you can live. Simply beautiful. Whenever the blade caresses my skin, I feel gorgeous. I shine. I do not hide the scars, I show them off with pride. I wear short dresses and tie my hair up. I'm especially joyous of the long gash that goes from my chin to my ear, along my jawline. People trace it with their fingers gently, amazed by my handiwork. They ask why I do this. I tell them. Sometimes they do not believe me. They think I do this to hurt myself. But I insist, very much so, that I do not feel any pain when I do as such. I feel warmth, and bliss. My mother makes me take pills. They feel cold. Not like the knife lets me feel. The knife snuggles and kisses me. The pills writhe throughout my body, disrupting the peace. They make me feel weak.
   In defiance of the medication, I kept it up. The scars got deeper and longer, sending pleasure shivers down my spine. I hid them so I wouldn't get more pills. My parents started to smile at me again. For my birthday the gave me a beautiful gold necklace the would swoop down across my heart. It was so pretty, that I thought I would adorn it with another cut. I took my little knife and it kissed me along the line of the necklace. Everything went black then.
It was black for along time. I would hear things though. "Small chance." "Critical condition." "Coma."
But then I heard my mother.
She was crying.
"Pull the plug," she said.
This isn't self harm. She was killing me. I wanted to kill me, when I was ready. I was going to be beautiful. So beautiful.
My light dimmed as everything went black forever.
 
  
  

Author's Note

"You always write such serious stuff. Can't you write something happy, for once?"
Yes. Yes I can.

Reviews

[StarNinja]

This is like the bad ending you would get in a video game with multiple endings.
Did you defy the medication and keep cutting? Yes.
Did your parents find out about it? No.
Birthday Necklace Unlocked!
Did you celebrate with even more cutting? Yes.
Bad Ending Unlocked. You black out. Mom pulls the plug before you're ready to end it.
Load/New Game?

.........

Anyways, great writing and awesome delivery.
A+

[Arsenic Nemesis]

This is fantastic mortal, so well written and presented. The amount of depth and passion in this is breath-taking, I love it, great job!~

[Bella-Marie]

It's such a beautiful piece of writing, written with such style and amazing beauty. I love how you channel the thoughts of your characters so perfectly, and write their views to wonderously. This is a piece that describes someone's point of view in an amazing poetic manner, and it doesn't matter whether you think she's wrong or right, you have to agree she's got a point.