Compulsive

I'm such a liar.

Liar.

It's a reflex.
I can't control it.
Spitting out of me.
Instantaneous regret.
Didn't mean to.
Didn't want to.
I swear.
Don't know why I do it.
That's a lie, too.
I know.
I know exactly why I lie so compulsively.
Like second nature.
But I'm so used to lying it's so damn hard to tell the truth.
I need help.
I want to stop.
Truth?
Truth. Well, on some things.
It's better to just stop completely.
Really? Because there are some things I need-
Things you need to lie about? Isn't that just proving the case about your condition?
But-
I don't think you're getting this.
What am I supposed to do?
You need some actual help.
Like a shrink? I can't see a shrink.
Why not?
It's too expensive.
Do you want to see a shrink?
No, of course I don't!
Another lie.
You got me.
But what do I do?
You could start by not lying.
I told you; it's a reflex. It's hard to stop it if you don't even know you're lying.
Maybe you could correct the lies?
Yeah, sure. Okay. I'll tell the truth. I'll tell my friends that I'm not fifteen, like they think. I'll tell them that I 'm still chugging through middle school. I'll tell my mother that I think she doesn't even know who I am, and I'll tell my father that I think he wasn't ready for me to come when he had me.
You should be telling a counselor this.
It's too expensive, my family's broke enough as is. Besides, how am I supposed to ask my mom? "Hey, mom. I think I might be a compulsive liar, and I need to see a therapist." She'll either A) Freak out and think I have some "deep emotional turmoil" and bat s**t crazy.  B) Ask quietly,"Can't you just stop lying?"
So you're talking at a voice your head. That doesn't make you seem bat s**t crazy.
Liar, liar...

Author's Note

A conversation I had with myself when I concluded that I have compulsive lying disorder.

Reviews

[Song]

Very good!! P:< the last bit of the second voice sounded like yours truly. Uhm... I don't think you'd like this... but... my cousin is a really good advice-giver... you could ask her...? I could talk to her about it?

YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS :) I HAVE FAITH IN YOUUU

[Bella-Marie]

Oh, very cool! I am the sort of person who spits out the truth even if it'll get me killed. I almost wish I could lie like you!
Well written, definitely. Love how the sub-concious voice was sort of sarcastic and lippy. And I love how you shared your internal conversations on WC!
Great work.