Numb

When the sun goes down

Trouble comes around.

Footsteps imprinted on the ground.

It never leaves, it never backs down.

You are alone, and no one’s around.

 

What will you do?

Will you sit down and frown?

What can you do to turn this around?

 

I’ve fought many, and for many.

To what point was it for?

Surely not for my sake,

Then again I’ve never done it before.

 

How inhumane they all seem

How ashamed I’ve been.

For the times we’ve spent together,

Nothing was what it seemed.

 

Perhaps you’re thinking

What happened, what can be done?

Nothing, I say.

I’ve said nothing,

And so it shall stay.

 

Again round and round,

Oh for heaven’s sake,

Will you stop that sound?

I can’t think anymore

I can’t feel

You’ve numbed me somehow.

Reviews

[ayosonolowo]

Nice poem, i really enjoyed the read.

[Antoñyo]

Wow...somehow I understand the name you've chosen after reading this, actually I understand more because this hit me on a personal level. Pure and raw emotion at its best in this well-expressed
poem I will be stashing in my favorites category.

Thanks for sharing.
100/100

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hey, Kabayan. Nice concept and wordplay. Nice flow.

Though the title describes only a certain moment in this concept (at the last verse) the voice is louder that you speak of regret in the 3rd and 4th verses- for things you've done. There are times in our lives that we may have made the wrong choice, then the next problem is how we may face the consequences of the choice we made.

Great. Keep writing!

[Kyle Sky]

Very constructive. You expressed a powerful yet subtle mood. The idea of despair through the misjudgment of life is very well admired. Though, I'm not very sure if there is a deeper meaning to this. Besides that, the rhyme matches with the rhythm very well and the expression of despair at the last stanza was good. All in all, this was a well expressed work.

[Babe Roxx]

Naks naman...matapang, Tops. Bakit ganyan ang buhay? Parang walang pagasa, diba?

Love the rhyme scheme and sentiment. Nicely done.

~Ev