You and Your Betrayal

Something I was inspired to write.

You and Your Betrayal

 

 

Your heart,

is ice cold and empty.

 

Your eyes,

glare at those you do not accept.

 

Your voice,

whispers rumors.

 

Your ears,

are only open to lies.

 

Your memories,

are those of losing friends.

 

And I,

despise you.

 

 

Reviews

[Max Murphy]

Very scathing and personal, sounds like something many of us would like to say to someone. The start of each stanza in bold is a simple technique, but quite effective, puts an emphasis when reading, that it's directed straight at me(the reader) and nobody else. Not sure if the last line would have more punch as 'are the deceiver' or even 'deceitful'. Beyond that, a nice poem. Max.

[solsystemtillnervsystem]

This is wonderful. Short and to the point, but conveys all it needs to. I love this style.

[Epiphany P. Nickel]

That is amazingly passionate, and I can definitely relate. Brava!

[rockinmiley555]

i could feel the tens emotion in this. even though its short, it says a lot about the situation, feelings, ECT.

great write :D