The Prison of my Mind

20th December 2016 My first ever poem. It concerns a person's innermost desires and hopes never seeing the light due to his own self-doubt and lack of confidence.

THE PRISON OF MY MIND

Fellow inmates of the prison of my mind,

Passion, Feeling, Love, all rot behind bars

Of self-doubt and self-hate.

My mind is held captive by a beautiful smile;

Lips painted crimson by my bleeding heart,

And moist with the tears of the undesirable.

They are an image, taunting, tantalising me with hope

Like freedom beyond the bars of consciousness;

Like a golden light at the end of an interminable tunnel.

A tall lance-like figure dances around

The cold, echoing halls of my desire.

Elusively, it slips between the bars

And caresses with its soft breath

Some hidden, shriveled remnant

Of a hope long dead.

And every time, it rises -

Only to come to a cold, spluttering end.

Eyes watch my every fumbling move with pity.

Do they not know that my mind’s a minefield?

Do they not see behind my quivering black pupils

A deep and roaring pain

That cries for release,

But can’t escape,

For any show of feeling is a weakness,

And proof that I have feelings to be hurt?

Sometimes it feels as if a single kiss,

A single touch of skin on skin, could cure

The images of love that plague my mind,

Casting down the walls of nervousness.

A hand run through her golden hair could free

Me from the chains of bitter hopelessness,

Which captivate my mind with lustful thoughts

And hold my tongue from ever speaking them.

These bars of doubt, these false imaginations of our minds,

Dictate our lives. Behind them rot away our hopes and desires,

Too afraid to poke their heads out from the dark.

And in the dark and hidden corners of our minds,

They bleed a ghastly purple as they die.

So, fellow inmates of the prison of my mind,

When those ghost-like lips breathe through the bars hope,

Do not stir. Do not dare to rattle the cage of self-loathing that contains you.

For the world beyond the bars was not made for you.