6-12-15

A description of an outsiders view on somebody whose world just came crashing down

the only thing visible to my eyes 

were the backs of my lids pulled over tight i must have had thoughts of future plans and past mistakes 

as i tried hard to transfer myself to my delirious state of unconsciousness

and then I heard the top stair creek and then another and then another and each creek came more quickly and louder with time i pulled the blinds to my eyes open fast 

and there she was standing over me she had a cigarette in her hand her chest was moving rapidly and her eyes were black each limb seemed to quiver in a repetitive motion with her defensive stance i stayed silent and she did as well for only a moment and soon stories of betrayal were filling the smokey air  

iced with heartache and reeking of battleship i stared and studied, hunting for ways i could comfort her for ways to smooth the goosebumps 

that covered every square inch of her glowing flesh in between passages her jaw sat locked tightly, 

allowing only her teeth to grind and then occasionally carress her bottom lip she must've had four cigarettes already and I felt sick. when the words of devastation breeched their damn once more i was scooping them up and holding them weakly in my lap her veins just kept rising and sinking within her flexed neck and her eyes kept wide and still with defeat

yet they stayed frantic the combination of realism and faith had failed her and the only thing I could manage to do 

while her machine body pumped in its statue state was to admire the way her dimples gave in and out as she dried her eyes from the inside 

every time they began to shine

Reviews

[B. Boileau]

Youve penned a vivid image that kept me glued to every word.
A picture of a confeesion of betrayal.
Splendid use of words
bill

[T. R. Ash]

Wow thank you!! :)

[DeerInHeadlights]

the way you describe... you are a very talented writer. I love how the thoughts just seem to fall forward from somewhere inside of you effortlessly.

[T. R. Ash]

You have no idea how much that means, thank you so much

[Xander West]

I enjoy your work. You manage to capture emotions well with your writing. I hope you continue to share you work.