38 The Book of Sedition

Sedition by Those Who Cannot Love

In the fifty-first generation those that loved followed each other more but they continued to hold me in deepest reverence and to love me and everyone else. God had those who do not love pretending to love him and pretty much the same as mine do except they were not as good at pretending to love as God was and few of them were actually good by the standards of my creation. They became known as sinners and the sinner, Hidtbago was no exception but he was sharp.

“Hidtbago,” I called to him, for he was not a god but a man like most of those who cannot love begin by being.

He said, “Who’s that?”

I answered by saying, “Hidtbago!” a little more loudly.

He said, “Who are you? Are you in trouble or something?”

I answered  by saying it again more loudly and he answered wondering what he had gotten himself into but being too arrogant  to cut me off. Then I say it again a little more loudly and he had never heard anyone that loud so he asked me what I wanted and if I was in love with him. I said it one last time and the room vibrated with my voice.

He says, “Who are you, Lord?” thinking it was Yeshua.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

He hesitated because that was the last thing he expected. Then he replied very quietly that he did, wondering whether it might be me.

“Liar,” I said. “You never talk to me. You never have read my word. You only pretend to be compassionate and barely make a pretense you love others. How can you say, ‘I love you, Lord.’”

He said nothing, convicted but not wanting to ask me to forgive him realizing he was not fooling me.

“As a result we disagree on just about everything you say and I take exception to your deceitfulness. But you have many friends, Hidtbago. I will help you make more if you talk to me,” I say.

Hidtbago says, “Yeah, you bet you.’ sarcastically, “I will make more friends on my own. You know what I do. I give them something exciting to think about. Even those who love you listen to me.”

“If you stop saying your theory that there is no You and You is not in anybody and that all of you are You to me. You are not me and they cannot be me by listening to that. You are you. I am not you and never was even when I gave you a new brain at the time of your birth. You grieve your father, Hdaot. He loves you and believes I would not heal someone who would become my enemy. You have been around for a long time. What keeps you going?”

“I am a god, Sir,” he says, “I don’t need anything or anyone to keep me going. I cannot die. I know all about you and your ways and your way of loving.”

“Are you a god?” I ask. “Then you are a god without a soul.”

“I don’t believe in souls. I am a god over all my friends and my dad. If you had loved me you would not have let my mother die,” Hidtbago says, becoming agitated.

“Keep on doing what you are doing, but tell no one your philosophy. It is blaspheme. You will die if you blaspheme my Mother. But me and Yeshua and even God you may blaspheme, but you will make him very angry. You do not have enough power to stand before him when he is angry. What makes you think now as I hear your thoughts that I will stand with you? He has a lot of power. But he fears me. You are incorrigible if you continue with that philosophy. The evil always make a mistake and I will be there when you do. Trust me,” I say. “But I tell you I will make you famous. I will make your father proud of you for you will be rich though you will leave him behind though I say, 'Honor your parents. Your mother is alive. She doesn’t believe in you yet. I can cause her to believe in you and come to you if you do not use that excuse against me. You are dead. By making my children addicted to your philosophy you force me to act. You know you are wrong and what you say is completely against me so that you seek my death. To kill a God is certain death. Even to try to kill a God or a god even is punishable by death. I will kill you. I cannot let you kill me. You will look for friends and find none when your desire to be my enemy reaches its end.”

“Who wants to kill you?” Hidtbago said, “Are you not mad?”

“I have told you and no, I am not mad,” I said. “You will find I am very sane. You will never be the god of my creation. I will defeat you and then I will leave you be, in the woods with Hsagac, whom you think is a myth. He is alive. No one in my creation has ever died. He will kill your body if you are a big enough problem.”

He thinks but not in words but a thought, ‘He reaches for straws to make me fear him. Everybody knows Hsagac is a myth. No one has ever seen him since his place was burned down. I’ve got him!”

“Do you know what reality without me would be like here?” I ask. “‘Then I will show you.’ Even you will see the difference.”

I withdrew from him and he felt a lot different and vulnerable inside. Then he felt the world, his point of view was not a life, but just a place and he was completely at its thoughtless mercy and he did not know how to make it alive. Then when he realizes it he says, “Why do you tell me the truth? To scare me! I am no more afraid than I was when I believed what I now even feel is the case. Nothing has changed.”

“Talk to one of your many friends with your thoughts,” I say.

He says, “Hey A Friend Of The Evil or Afote!”

He received no reply.

“Afote!!” he says a little louder but hears no reply.

“Perhaps if you shout he will hear you. Are you sure he considers you as a friend? Afote does not love either. None of your friends love but a very few,” I say.

“Afote!!!” he screams in his mind and aloud at the same time.

“This is what your philosophy leads to, your so-called reality,” I say.

He chooses not to believe me and calls on Afote again and this time he hears a voice in his mind and he says, “Afote! Why didn’t you talk to me? I called to you?” in his mind.

“There,” I say mocking him, “Your own voice answers you but when you ask your mind a question it doesn’t know what you want it to reply. So it says nothing.”

He senses his philosophy does not lead to reality but to a madness wherein he must be present with others and speak with his lips for them to hear him. But he doesn’t believe it is not reality

“I thought you were a god?” I say, “A god nobody can hear unless they are right there with them!” and I laugh at him and let him see my face in his mind’s eye smiling before it disappears again.

He gets up from the chair he is sitting on at a table thinking he would get some food for a change since many who do not love eat for a change of pace. They do not have to. I feed them. But they take to it. Except I am not with him. Therefore there is no food to be eaten, especially not his favorite blueberries. He curses me and I bless him with blueberries aplenty. He refuses to eat, saying that he does not need to eat. “I am a god.”

He rises and opens the door rather than manifesting at Afote’s place. He scarcely knows the way. He has never walked there before but a very few times for something to do with his friend though he appears there many times a day. But not today. He is confused and unsure of his way. Then he remembers but he is unsure. Therefore he walks very rapidly until he arrives there and knocks on the door.

“What is that incessant knocking?” Afote says. Then he walks to the window and looks outside. There is nothing out there he sees to make such a loud persistent knocking noise. Then Afote still hearing it very near and very loud opens the door and sees Hidtbago there and says, “What the hell are you doing? You confused the s**t out of me.” Then he says to his mind, “Are you in trouble or something? You look like you have seen Yeu or something!! You didn’t, did you?”

“I-I don’t know,” Hidtbago says. “I mean-? I-I heard him and he talked to me. He scared the hell out of me. Ask the guys to meet at your place.”

“Why don’t you ask them yourself?” Afote asks, “You know I don’t care!”

“Just ask them!” he says, “Do what I say for once!!”

“Okay, okay? But I don’t see why. What are you so touchy for? So you had a talk with Yeu. It’s no big deal everybody talks to him most of them at least once a day. Get a hold of yourself. You are really starting to creep me out. Did you go crazy or something?” Afote says. 

“If I have, don’t say anything to them, okay?” Hidtbago asks and Afote nods, “Promise me. Not a damned word.”

In moments they are all there chatting happily and picking on each other and making coarse jokes when Hidtbago shouts, “Look. Guys! This is important.”

I leave the others too.

Hidtbago shares what I said to him and they are all really frightened and they are silent even in their minds and their spirits.

Finally Afote says, “Aw! He just used his power to-? -to scare you off!”

Hidtbago senses what has happened to him has happened to the others. So he says, “Alright! You try it! Say something to each other just as a thought or a verbalization in your mind, anything.”

They were all trying but it was the same for them as it had been for Hidtbago.

“Hidtbago!” Afote says at last. “You’ve got us believing your madness! This is impossible guys. Try again.”

A few tense seconds pass and I smile in all of their minds’ eyes. They all scream. Then one of them says, “I am really scared here. I thought your reality thing was just a way to get noticed and make friends and that we were going to take over!”

Hidtbago says in a thought he sends to all of them like he does when they are in a tight spot, “I did too! And, I believe it again,” as he sees his friends relaxing. He knows they are gods and don’t need me to talk in any way they want to each other.

I smile at them the way I did before again. But they pay it only the attention someone who is being annoying gets. They were all talking in any way they wanted and they were happy until someone knocks at the door. They hush. Then Hidtbago walks to the door and opens it. There is no one there but me and I am invisible to them now. They go ahead with their plans to take over everyone and create a new reality that they can rule where my reality is, the true reality in the Holy Spirit.

They go back to winning those who cannot love until they go too far and they convince He Is A Lover And Not Evil or Hialane and he cries out to me and I save him by explaining that reality is what I want not what they want and he loved me anyway though he still believes them at first but he finally returned to the group of lovers. 

I knew they would make a mistake. I had blessed them and the more evil they got the more I blessed them and they were all rich and growing more famous and sure of themselves. 

So I made all their thoughts alien to each other, made all the language of their minds foreign to each other and the words they spoke to each other foreign to each listener. They lost all they had and had no way to recover it.

As time went on they forgot about me and moved to the wilderness where they managed a sort of pigeon english that allowed them to deal with those that loved, so they could survive. But all those born unable to love had to prove they loved from then on to receive a soul cap from me. If they turned to seditious activity I did the same thing I did to the others of Hidtbago’s group and we recovered most of them but carefully avoided those who had been seditious and left them in the wilderness where gradually a sort of language they understood in local areas evolved and they could talk and deal with their neighbors. It is still that way even to this time.

Hdaot, Hidtbago’s father loved him so much he followed him to the wilderness and continues to try to teach him English but it is very frustrating and he finds his son’s thoughts crazy to him and his language every strange and very difficult to learn. I am still trying to get him to go back to the lovers.

Afote mumbles a lot and is very superstitious believing I am behind every minor thing. Those they converted to no reality really are like him; all in their own world living almost entirely in their own very strange thoughts. But God has brought many back to his loveless reality and now has gods in him. It is not their fault they are loveless. It is in their souls that are outside of me and my Mother, the Holy Spirit. They are practical bodies that will never die but many of their spirits are all that is really in touch with reality, mine.