Chapter XIX

A Chapter by Calypso

Chapter XIX

To January’s horror she was beginning to show. Her stomach looked heavy at the bottom and at the middle of the night she would feel the child roll around in her. Often there would be sharp pain that subsided quickly and January realized this was the child kicking.

Her hands and feet bloated all the time. Her stomach itched and she felt cranky. She had heartburn day and night.

All this began in the early part of February. The crankiness has been around for a while though.

On her day off January drove to the city. It was so cold that January was afraid to stand still too long or the icy wind would cover her in snow.

She had to fill her car with $20 of gasoline before even leaving the campus. She popped a Smashing Pumpkins CD in and turned off her phone.

For the time being she wanted to spend the day away from her current life.

About twenty minutes from ABAU there was a Wal-Mart’s. After parking in the empty lot she rushed into the store and tried not look at the faces she saw.

Of the first places she went was the book aisle. With the latest New York Times bestseller she sat on the dirty floor and read the first paragraph. January’s wasn’t able to concentrate and it almost as if her mind weaved in and out as she read the first paragraph.

She resolved to place it in the buggy beside the random box of crackers she picked up at the front of the store. The next thing she grabbed was a 24 pack of Sharpies. She assumed that she would need them but she hasn’t made Sharpie art since middle school.

Next it was two packs of banana-flavored gum. After that it was a pair of shoes specially made for people with no arches. Then a TV dinner, then a 2 liter of Diet Coke and an apple. The final thing she bought was a stuffed animal that she thought looked nice.

The total came to $66.70. She used her debt card to pay for everything. She ate the apple and part of the still frozen TV dinner (she had been craving frozen Mac & cheese) and drank from the 2 liter. Everything else was in the trunk.

She drove on until she came to a store. They specialized in women’s clothes. There was no one in there. The store was dark and smelled stale. The only person January saw was a woman in her late twenties in a blue polo with her black hair in a low ponytail.

She found a top in juniors. It was black with a purple heart on the shoulder. January rushed off to the dressing room.

When she ripped off her winter clothes she felt like she was finally free. Her skin was covered in red, angry marks where the skin on her breast and stomach had tightly pressed against her clothes.

Trying to put on the junior small was like trying to squeeze her body thought a crack an inch wide. The skirt looked like it would rip open; it didn’t even go over her stomach.

She cracked open the door and saw the women from before hanging up nightgowns.

“Hay, Hay! Can you help me?”

January wished she wouldn’t have yelled ‘hay’ but the women turned around, without malice on her face, and asked what she could do.

“My Mom isn’t with me today. Could you get me a shirt in juniors, a medium?”

The women smiled. “Aww honey. It’s hard to squeeze into anything other then maternity when you’re as far along as you are.”

“Wh…what?”

“Are you not pregnant?” The women asked, afraid.

“Ya... I am. Is it that noticeable?”

Her eyes grew wide and she put her hands out. “The only reason I could tell is that I’ve had two children… Sorry…”

“It’s...it’s okay. Just bring me a large in maternity.”

The women brought her the shirt and she tried it on. It was way too baggy and January liked that.

“How far along are you?”

While buttoning up a pair of pairs she counted the weeks. “22 weeks” It could have been 23 for all January knew. Her math had always been good so she trusted her quit math.

The women bolted back to the cash register and came back with a paper back book in hand.

“The other day a lady came in to drop off some clothes and she asked me if we sell books and I told her that we don’t but she wanted to get rid of her book on pregnancy. Here, take it.”

January took the thick book from her and shifted though the pages. It smelled like coffee and carrots.

“Thanks… this will be needed.”

“You don’t have to pay for it. I know what you’re going though.”

January wanted to tear up because she knew this beautiful, friendly women would never know how she felt. Instead she bit her lips and nodded.

They both carried a mountain of clothes each to the counter. All the clothes were bright colored with stupid looking flower decorating the empty spaces. More importantly they were cheap and large enough to hide her pregnancy.

The total was $150 and she walked out with ten bags of clothes.

In the past shopping was fun. Buying so much clothes for that price would have given her high that made her feeling a hunter coming home with a great hunt, but now shopping left her feeling hallow.

It was no longer a pastime, just a thing you had to do.

She drove to the dorm. Willow was there, asleep but January still came in, loudly, and removed all her clothes from her closest.

A bothered Willow asked if she could help and January told her she could go back to sleep. With all the noise there would have been no way she could have so she bought January water when she started turning red.

Right below their window was the dorm’s dumpster. She opened the window as wide as it would go and pushed her old clothes out the window.

“If I knew you were going to do that I would have told you about the charity yard sale…” Willow said matter of fact.

“If they want the clothes they can dig for them.” January responded taking another bottle of water from the six-pack.

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