The Price I Paid

Mood Music

I wander the streets since you left

My life, my choices... a lot of noise but no heft

Felt I tried, oh the best of intentions

Walking backward it's an ongoing concession 

You're gone now but I can't be sure you were ever here

Schrodinger's cat, I'm the box and I can't be sure you were ever near

                                                                                                                                

I see the world through gin tinted glasses

Living with memories, I can only grin as time passes

Hollow moments I give false meaning

This glass keeps filling but no more truth am I gleaning

If there's a message in this bottle it faded with time

You're gone, these liquor stained hands proof of my crimes

                                                                                                                                

Once I sustained you

You broke free, sorry I ever restrained you

Sleepless nights remind me to remember

Lackluster days convince me to forget my endeavor

The best of me is something you'll never see

Not sure it's something I could ever be

                                                                                                                                

I'm sorry I failed you

Apologetic for the things I did and didn't do

You saw the possibilities

I saw the destruction of these realities

I destroyed you and I won't play coy

I wish when I looked in the mirror...

I still saw that boy 

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see this as a reflection of youth...seeing ourselves as what we were but then seeing what we are now...and maybe not liking what we see....in the vein of Plath's poem "Mirror"
"in me she has drowned a young woman..."
i like this piece because you allow the reader to journey from his or her own perspective.
nicely done.
j.

[unsavable_soul]

Yea, lately I've been trying to redefine myself. That point in life way you either grow from the mistakes or you take that final fork in the road and give in to the worst to come. I wanted to leave it to the reader what this was about until the last lines. I wanted it to be neutral enough that by the end of the writing the reader could stand in those shoes for their own reasons and truths.
US

[John the Baptist]

The highs of romantic love can be really high, but the lows, as illustrated here, can be really, really low.

[unsavable_soul]

Maybe I did a really bad job writing this but the content is about loss of self. Doesn't contain the why, but I imagine love would be among the reasons for loss of self. Thanks for the words John.