Silently Empty

A Story by Samantha Rose

Grade 12 writers craft. We had to write 7 chapters of a book based off of another authors writing style. This is the first chapter of my already finished book.

Veronica

I didn't even know how i was supposed to feel. How does one figure out their emotions when they are so confused? The evening was dark, and had a slight chill as always. Although the air had a different sent than usual. Sort of like a bog. It was strange. I can't say I even remember much, that would probably be why I was so confused. When i awoke, shivering and damp, i had this strange emotion that i could feel running through my body. As though not only my mind, but my entire self was giving in, giving up, into the dark. The last thing I could recall was the overdose. But I can't even place my finger on why, why I did, why I took all those pills. Walking through the warm lightly dimmed house. Walking through the narrow wooden halls, following right along the wall until i reached the cool white bathroom. Taking my steps slow on the cold silver tiles below me. As soon as i looked up, all i saw was the mirror. My reflection. My light blonde hair, blue eyes, arms and legs. Most people around me considered me beautiful, i would get complimented on during a daily basis. But when i looked into the mirror, when i saw my face, my body, my complexion, my whole self, all i wanted to do was take the sharp razor blade father had in the garage, and destroy this disgusting body i was trapped in. Tare is apart until there was nothing left, until my soul flew out from that retched storage unit, and i could fly away, be free. Be happy.

I guess i can sort of remember now why I awoke here. Although i'm not quit sure where here is. All i can do right now is slowly lift my aching body off the cold floor, and try to figure out what happened. Standing up wasn't the easiest thing i would ever do, it felt as though part of my body was still stuck on the ground. But i finally wretched myself off the damp tiles, and onto my feet again. My head felt so empty and cold, as though someone was chilling an ice nail into the middle of my forehead. When i opened my eyes and looked back into that stupid mirror i wanted so badly to smash, it all happened. My complexion was grey, my eyes black, and in the corner of the mirror was my lifeless body laying on that damp tiled floor. I guess that's the reason it's been smelling so bad in here lately. The next events happened so fast. My mum knocked on the door lightly.

"Veronica," her voice had the sweetest tone, and all i could feel in my empty soul was my throat beginning to swell.

"Veronica honey? Why won't you open the door?" I tried to answer, i tried to tell her "Mum, i'm alright, just give me a few more minutes." But every time i moved my mouth, nothing came out of it, and all i could feel was my throat closing more and more, my eyes welling with what should be tears, and my knees shaking from pure guilt.

"Veronica. If you don't open this damned door this instant i'll break the door down!" Still no answer although i was still trying. I moved over to the battered wooden door. This door had so many memories it was hard to forget. When i was 5, this door would be a million miles higher than me. I would look up at it like it was never ending. My mum would measure my height every year to see how i was progressing, telling me how beautiful i was each time i would stand straight against that doorframe while she took a pencil and marked my new height. That door was a friend, and a saviour. As I was growing up, we found out that David wasn't a normal child. He was the age of 20 but still acting as mature as a 14 year old. We finally figured out what was wrong with him, autism, but that didn't help much. Whenever he was angry he would try to beat me. But this door, it saved me and hurt me. It would save me when I had nowhere to hide except behind it, it's strong wood wouldn't let him hurt me. But he became so old, so fragile, although he still tried to protect me, it wasn't enough. David broke him off of his hinges, took him overtop of his head, and smashed him down on my tinny body.

As my mum easily broke down my protector, all anyone in 300 feat could hear was a blood turning scream. She looked so well before she opened that door, her hair was shiny and full of curls, her skin starting to get a tan, her eyes bright and happy for the day ahead, but when she opened that door, all of that faded away. Her knees started to shake as she toppled to the ground. The tan seemed to be draining from her skin, and her eyes went blank as the rest of her body hit the floor. I ran over to her, trying to comfort her, trying to make things better. But what can i say? Sorry mom, life was to much to handle so i took a bunch of pills and died instead. Sorry i left my body a mess here on the ground. It wouldn't matter if i said that or not because every time i tried to speak, nothing could come out of my mouth. I joined her on the damp ground, putting my arms around her, trying to tell her i'm alright, but she didn't notice me. No matter how hard or loud i screamed telling her "I'M SORRY!" nothing would fix the mess i just caused.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP DAMN YOU! VERONICA!" her voice cracking and wailing as she yelled this.

"Hey! What's with all the noise up there?! Quite down! I'm trying to watch the god damned finals!" We could barely hear my father yelling from down the stairs.

"PAUL! COME HERE! RIGHT THIS INSTANT! CALL AN AMBULANCE! CALL THE POLICE! DO SOMETHING PLEASE!!"

It all moved so quickly in front of me, although i felt trapped in slow motion watching it all happen. My father bending over holding my lifeless body, my mother trying to beat the life back into my body, while David had to hold her back. A paramedic running in and ripping my body out of my fathers hands, placing my body on a stretcher child they brought me up into the Ambulance truck. All of my family joining in the back of the truck, watching as this strange strong man electrified my body, took my blood, and trying to give my lifeless body CPR. All that was left was the emotions in i held as the Ambulance truck turned on its sirins, and sped down the highway towards the hospital. Leaving me. Standing here. All alone. Again.