Off duty

I collect 

seashell memories

in littered 

coffee cups 

along the shore

that bore me,

pushing me

through

the wide wave

liquid chaos

of the rip 

tide current. 

I swim in a

diagonal

fashion, 

trying to

break free

from the 

wild undertow

until finally

I am released 

onto a white

sand beach

with no

lifeguard

on duty

Reviews

[Karmee]

this is wonderful. I love the imagery and detail through out.
Awesome writing

[WanderAsia]

"liquid chaos"
If ever there was an apt description of the ocean THAT would be it. To me, the piece is unique simply because it is as if you had stripped it down to the bare minimum, which resulted in an accurate display of imagery without all the unnecessary cliché tagalongs.

[Clockwork]

I like your short lines and very precise imagery in this one. The last six lines of the piece really speak to me, especially the lines about there being no lifeguard on duty. The image of the white sand tells me there is a lot of purity in that place, and the fact that there is no lifeguard allows you to be free.

I also like how you use the idea of collecting those sea shell memories. Overall, great metaphor in this one as well.

[K. Louis]

Beautiful images and metaphor here. I also liked the thin strand like way you structured it; a lot said in few words...with an ending that packs a punch. Well done!