you are like......

you are like......

A Poem by Vedant Rao

 

 You are like the beats of my heart

 Which just can never be apart……

                        

 You are like the leaf of a tree

 That just give everything for free…..

 

 You are like the essence of love

 As pure as the feather of dove……

 

 You are like the water of rain

 That’s what everyone one want to gain….

 You are like the purity of soul

 Exist forever as a whole.....

 

You are like the words of the book

 i can understand with just a look….

 

You are like the fragment of gold

As true as the words i told…………………

© 2016 Vedant Rao


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Reviews

In your love poem, you have done a great job of using many comparisons to help the reader visualize & feel each aspect of the love you are describing. I think a few of your observations are a little simplified, but you're 14, & this is what love looks like & feels like at your age. It gets much more complicated later on . . . as you write more & more, you'll be able to add more complexity to your message, too. Even tho I like your cheerful & adoring comparisons here, I encourage you to present a picture of love that has ups & downs, which is more realistic for the way life & love actually go. Tension is what makes a good story and it also happens in life all the time. So, just keep that in mind for future writing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Vedant Rao

4 Years Ago

thank you....
thank you for your review, i have recently uploaded a new poem as you suggested.. read more
The last 3 stanzas are really awesome..I liked them very much...and rhyming is again very good....

Posted 4 Years Ago


Vedant Rao

4 Years Ago

thanks for your review horizon ;-) THANK YOU VERY MUCH
please keep reviewing my work
t.. read more

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2 Reviews
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Added on October 3, 2016
Last Updated on October 3, 2016

Author

Vedant Rao
Vedant Rao

nadiad, gujarat, India



About
i am a 14 years old boy live in nadiad, gujarat, i am very interested in writing poems, i use to write poems on almost everyhing i see more..

Writing