The Death of a Nation

every change has a price

The Death of a Nation

 

It started with

Whispers, spoken in the dead of night

People that obeyed with never a fight

(hidden thoughts: don't be seen)

Laughter, smiles, satin slippers

It started with iron cages and sugared lies,

Borders of white against painted baby blue skies

It started with silver silken sheets

Softness and tenderness and golden dreams

Whispers of the deadliest schemes

((for liberty))

 

And then there was

Dry air and darkened eyes

Shattered glass and the sound of cries

(she was screaming, earlier)

Crimson velvet and broken dolls

Diamonds and rubies littered the halls

Flames that leapt higher than the moon

A bloody silver spoon"

The faces of family alike in death

Pale, white, cold without the warmth of breath

((for equality))

 

And of course

People come from far and near

Each face bruised with an ugly sneer

(none that believe and none that listen)

Silver tears glisten on her cheeks

Heart thudding as he speaks

Not of distant melodies and sweet chimes

But the recitation of her list of crimes

It mixes with the yells and cheers

It is almost time, it is what she fears

She faces her doom with her heart in a knot

And then crimson red stains her thought

((for fraternity))

 

Blue, white, red,

These are the colors of our new queen.

((the republique Français, or death))

 

 

Author's Note

About the French Revolution. Please read, rate and review!

Reviews

[A. L. Allen]

Ja-- *cough* Lerona, that was absolutely fantastic. Really and truly. You captured the intrigue and the loss beautifully. Your vocabulary was sophisticated and added mystery to the piece, without making it hard to understand the meaning. In fact, it rather improved it. :) The story woven by this poem is amazing.

All in all, this was an incredible poem, and I can not think of one thing to make it better. Pure perfection! :D Keep it up! (And if, while you're at it, you could lend some of your poetic genius to me, that would be greatly appreciated) ;D.

[Jasmine Thousand]

Thank you for your review! Haha, I don't think that would be necessary. You're quite the poet yourself! ;)

[gabrielle]

Dissatisfied citizenry is a reflection how poorly a government is governed. An amazing historical-political piece. Indeed, when the government became instrument of oppression people would be willing to sacrifice for liberty, equality and fraternity.

[Wild Spirit]

It was very good. A bit confusing but still great.

[Jasmine Thousand]

Thanks for your review :)

[Riley Bray]

Frankly, I don't know much about the french revolution, but I do believe I learned a lot through this poem. It sounds like a very dark, oppressive time and it seems to have been very well captured through your words. I loved the imagery and rhyme scheme. Well done Lerona. :)

Highlights:

"It started with silver silken sheets
Softness and tenderness and golden dreams"

"And then there was
Dry air and darkened eyes
Shattered glass and the sound of cries
(she was screaming, earlier)
Crimson velvet and broken dolls"

"The faces of family alike in death
Pale, white, cold without the warmth of breath"

"(none that believe and none that listen)
Silver tears glisten on her cheeks
Heart thudding as he speaks
Not of distant melodies and sweet chimes"

[Jasmine Thousand]

Thank you for your review Riley!

[Tai Ryens]

An astounding capture of the voice of a churning revolution among dissatisfied peoples. What truly makes this piece remarkable is that, not only does it enrapture the cries for equality and dissatisfaction from the citizens, but it also portrays how the revolution started: first, in hushed whispers soon erupting into active conquests and movements crying out for more fair treatment.
I must admit, I know nothing of the French revolution as it is, but you've portrayed it so elegantly and sophisticatedly. Well done, indeed.

[Jasmine Thousand]

Thank you for your review Tai!

[The XYZ Writer]

I'm still on the second to last stanza, but I have a curling smile on my lips. Your writing has anything but sank. This is a huge improvement.

This was an exquisite poem, and I love the vocabulary and imagery used. It painted the scenes in my head and the descriptions fit with the setting.

I'm not a poet in the slightest regard, so that's as much as I can say. But my personal opinion is that it's a pretty remarkable poem.

Keep it going~

[Jasmine Thousand]

Thank you! Poetry isn't exactly my preferred style of writing, but sometimes it's cleaner to just write a poem to release all those thoughts circling in my head instead of planning out a story. It's good to hear that I've improved even though my writing is so rusty. I guess experience and time makes a writer better.

Are you going to post anything soon? :P