open poetry night.

wrote this for dun bros open poetry night.

V1

Your smile is worth my displace.

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented distaste

Every time you’re close to me.

I contradict my thoughts of salacity.

Breathe out slow, my hearts beat splitting an eyelash.

You grow in my heart salaciously.

V2

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented distaste

Every time you’re close to me.

I contradict my salacious thoughts in haste.

Breathe out slow, steadying my hearts fractious beat.

You grow in my heart salaciously.

V3

Omitting Love from Affection.

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented dissatisfaction.

Every time your close to me,

I contradict my salacious thoughts in haste.

Breathe out slow, steadying my hearts fractious beat.

You grow in my heart salaciously.

She’s my predilection.

Author's Note

i wrote these versions for open poetry night at dun bros coffee i did for my english class.tell me what version you like best.
all comments are welcome. and the night was awhile ago. i think i ended up reading open poetry night 2--- http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GorrilaxGREENx/506787/

Reviews

[Aradie Rain]

I personally Prefer the first one, I believe it is quick to the point and doesnt add unecessary words. These are very good and show great promise of a futur in writing.
~Aradie

[snapstache]

last one

[AllyKinzz:)]

I like the last one. Its more ...emotional. :D

I say do that one. :D

[Micah_s5]

I would go with 1 or 3 bro.

[Taylor H.]

I cant really say which one is my favorite I like them all. But id probably say 1 is the best. Great job :)