July 2000 -2

Jul 9

 

Today we went to mum's friend's place for lunch and had a mini barbecue. I was enjoying it until they started talking about a trip to hot springs. I was saying that I don't like the idea and they were laughing at me and making fun of it. It was awkward. Not very fair.  In Japanese hot springs you are expected to be all naked. I wouldn't be myself if I even remotely considered the idea!! 

 

After getting home I went outside to play. We built a secret house with the kids from the neighbourhood  (most were at least 5 years younger than me). I was the main one building and the little ones were excited about collecting sticks and leaves for it. I am very popular with little kids. Like one of them wouldn't get on the swings with her own sister but she does with me. I ended up falling off the swings though. Got covered in bruises.

 

Jul 12

 

Today we left for a school excursion to Mt Fuji. I had to be at school by 6am. I enjoyed the drive. The view was very pretty. We drove up to a certain point and went hiking on the mountain. I finished the first out of the girls. I felt very tired and hot on bus afterwards and at the hostel it turned out that I had 38 degrees fever. Everyone asked me if I was ok. I even got tired of replying "yea, thanks". I appreciated their kindness though. Perhaps people don't talk to me at school not because they hate me but because they don't know what to say. I ended up having to go to hospital at 9pm. I really didn't want to but the drive was nice. I could not fall asleep till late because the girls kept chatting about love dramas. I wished I could have joined with everyone. The next day I had high fever from the time I woke up and stayed sleeping for most of the day instead of going on a trip to the caves and I really wanted to go.

 

Jul 15

 

Last night at 11 pm mum and dad decided to teach me that I have to walk straight. I am not actually that slouched but sometimes I am. And they said that I had to change now because if I don't it will be too late. And they kept asking why I wouldn't make an effort to be straight. Why didn't I tell them that I was? In fact, I could only think that I slouch so that my bust doesnt show. How could I possibly answer them?

 

After the school today I went to the summer festival. Yuki was still at her club and so I went with Karen at first. I had shaved ice and some drink. It was a lot of fun, I guess because of my good mood. The haunted house was great again. At the end we just listened to live music. Most of the time it drizzled but no one would think of leaving. Yuki seems to be about to fall in love. The boy seems ok, which is such a rare thing! They are just friends now but Yuki thinks very well of him. She admits she can fall for him if he was better looking. This is all very enjoyable but I miss Russia so badly!!

Jul 17

 

When I got home tonight I asked Pete very politely to please wash his hands after the toilet but he didn't. So i pinched him just a tiny bit. And he started screaming like crazy. On purpose so that I get in trouble! I mean it really couldn't have been very painful! Of course, I got scolded right away for forcing to wash up and seriously harming a poor little boy! All upset, I sat down for dinner. And suddenly I notice that Pete is studying one of my papers while touching himself and than putting his hand all over it! I didn't do anything. I just yelled "obviously it's all my fault again" and ran to my room, banging the door behind me. Of course I did hope that for once they will reprimand Pete. But not a chance! You may be surprised but I was in fact the bad one again! This time because I yelled or something like that. They should be honest instead and just say "we don't love you". They gave me a long lecture afterwards, accusing me of forcing Pete to wash. This has had happened before already. They so don't understand me! They literally don't understand what "disgusting" means. Pete is, as usual, standing aside. Smiling inside, I bet! Although they said they scolded him too. It was less than what I got in any case! They so love him more! Mum says that Pete would wash his hands on his own if I don't say anything. But it's not true. As if he would!

 

Jul 28

 

Got my ears pierced today! I had been nagging mum to let me to it for weeks now and I finally got her approval just before she left for Russia again (to see a doctor) for 3 weeks yesterday. I cycled to the clinic by myself in the morning. I was a bit nervous. I got somewhat scared. I was expecting it to be a little prick like mum had had it but it turned out to be so painful! I had to shut my eyes out of fear. I don't know how it happened. The needle was inserted slowly and they had to prick the right ear twice because they screwed it up. But then it haven't been hurting at all. I am happy that I've done it. However I thought it would feel different. I don't even feel them, like I don't have anything on! But you can see them still. Can't wait to be able to wear different ones (the first earrings have to stay on for a month when you pierce the ears or the holes will disappear). I wonder how to sleep with them? I'd better get a towel. No one really noticed them although I felt like everyone stared on the street.

 

My favourite English teacher Ana says that when she was little, she was a daddy's girl and her brother was closer to mum. When they had fights dad always stood up for her while mum protected her brother. And I never have anyone on my side! I'll tell you some examples so you can believe that I am not loved. The biggest thing is that they only ever scold me but never Pete. When I tell on him they call me a snitch. If he tells on me, that's fine. In either case, I get in trouble! And besides, I keep getting reprimanded for ridiculous things and Pete hardly ever gets in trouble for anything. He cannot be an absolutely perfect child, can he now? For instance, today dad gave me a talk about having a rubbish bin in my room! Saying that I shouldn't do that. I cannot make any sense of it.