Chapter Seven: Arielle's POV

Chapter Seven: Arielle's POV

A Chapter by Vanessa Rico
"

Shae, Arielle, and Donnie meet someone new...who has an agenda of her own

"

Chapter Seven

Arielle

Now I knew why they had given us canteens of water.  We were in a desert, but it did not seem like a normal desert.  In manner before we had entered the pyramid, there had been rock walls on either side of us, basically herding us towards the pyramid like cattle.  Here we found ourselves, being shepherded to an unknown destination that we could not see from our flat position in the canyon.  I could not see where we were walking to, because the sandy pathway twisted and turned, obscuring any chance of a view of our destination.  When we left the pyramid, the sun had been high overhead, beating down on us in a scorching blaze, and that had been several hours ago.  I knew this for a fact, because I was keenly aware of the sun sinking lower in the sky. 

The heat of the sun had me drenched in sweat and left my mouth parched.  Sand and grit covered my teeth, which was a rather unpleasant sensation.  Yes, I had a canteen of water, but I wanted to conserve the water in case that this pathway lasted another few hours.  All right, that was not my idea, but Shae’s.  He had instructed us to only take a few sips every half hour to prevent dehydration.  I know he was checking me out the entire time he said this, and not in a sexual way, either.  He was afraid that I was going to fall apart, which I could understand, because I felt like falling apart. 

The boy--the dead boy--was on the forefront of my mind and had been, since I…murdered him.  How could I think of anything else?  I had no right to do what I did to that boy; it was one of those unforgivable sins.  All I wanted to do was pray to the Holy One and plead for forgiveness, but I could not for fear that He would only turn me away.  My father had preached so many sermons on the subject of murder, and I remembered how fiery those orations were and how they scared me.  I had vowed to myself and to the Holy One that I would never commit such a heinous act; yet, here I find myself, a murderer.  No longer did I feel the Holy One’s love.  The only reason that I kept on, instead of becoming a basket case, was for my siblings; they needed me.  So I pressed on, keeping pace with Shae’s long strides.

Donnie had been strangely quiet on our march through the desert.  He walked with Shae and me, but he gave Shae a wide berth, sticking close to me.  Evidently, something was up between the two, but I did not have the energy to ask.  After several hours of walking, I could only focus on putting one foot in front of the other.  Shae had stopped us several times to rest and take a break and to drink a few sips of precious water. 

During our last break, Donnie flipped out on Shae, saying that we were going to die out here in this godforsaken desert, challenging Shae’s leadership.  Donnie’s outburst had shocked me to my senses, as well as bringing out Shae’s wrath. 

“You think you would have made it this far without us kid?”  Shae sneered, which I thought was a rather unattractive look for him.  F**k!  What the hell was I thinking, caring about Shae’s appearance?

“No, I don’t think I would’ve made it this far…I would have made it farther!”  Donnie countered as he stepped up into Shae’s face. 

“Oh really?  Who was running around like a little puppy content to stay there with a collar on as if you were a pet?!  Oh, wait…you sold your pet to that dog fighter,” baited Shae, and I saw Donnie’s face become red with anger. 

The next thing I saw was Donnie’s fist strike Shae connecting with his jaw in fury, which was already bruised from the dead boy.  The force of Donnie’s punch caused Shae to stumble backwards, but he did not fall on his a*s as he had earlier, when the unbelievably strong wild kid had swung at him.  Without another word, Shae retaliated with a blow of his own to Donnie’s nose.  Blood splattered everywhere.  Shae stood over Donnie, who was not shaking from fear, but anger.  I did not think Donnie had that in him, since he seemed so innocent and carefree. 

I made an attempt to go to Donnie’s side, but Shae held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks.  “No, he needs to realize that this place is tough, and he won’t survive by being weak or childish.  Arielle,” Shae softened when he said my name, but he continued, pointing at Donnie, “He will get us killed by being so immature.  Another thing, the three of us have to be united.  We were brought together for a reason, and if we don’t stand strong…we will fall apart.”  Then Shae brought his face within inches of Donnie’s face, whose eyes were slit in anger and…hatred?  “Grow up or stay here.  Those are your options.  If you decide to be a man, then you can come along with Arielle and me.  If you decide to be a stupid, ineffectual excuse for a man, stay here, because I don’t want you around.  You would probably get us killed by pressing one of those big red buttons that plainly states: Do not push.  Make up your mind now.” 

I opened my mouth to argue with Shae and his macho man leader antics, but he intimately pressed a finger to my lips to silence my disputes.  This gesture from him immediately hushed any thoughts I had.  If I glanced at Shae, I knew my embarrassment"and longing"would show on my face, so I looked to Donnie’s face, and the struggle of a decision clearly written there.  It was a tense few minutes as Donnie made up his mind.  “Fine…I’ll ‘grow up’,” Donnie admitted through gritted teeth. 

“Then let’s go.  There are only a few more hours of sunlight. And I, personally, don’t want to be out here when night falls.  Let’s pick up the pace,” instructed Shae; Donnie and I complied with his directions.

Ninety minutes later, we stood at a massive gate that towered high above the three of us.  The surface of the gate was shiny like obsidian, yet it must have been of some type of steel.  Light from the fading sun glinted off of the gate, almost blinding me.  It was a dead end, until we received instructions from our oh-so-benevolent test makers.  Yeah, these people were a great bunch.

“What now, fearless leader,” Donnie asked sarcastically, which Shae ignored.  He ambled up to the gate and placed his hand on the smooth surface.  Right as he did so, I noticed a green blinking light near the doors of the gate.  As I approached the doors, Shae saw what caught my attention and we met at the niche-like opening, which held a piece of parchment.  It boldly stated to put our canteens in it.  So the three of us downed the rest of the water, before placing the canteens in the cubby; this caused the cubbyhole’s opening to close.  This in turn caused a chain reaction, allowing the gate’s doors to open wide. 

I stated the obvious: “That was too easy.”  Shae only nodded, and then he took the first step beyond the door into a land completely opposite of the desert. 

“Holy s**t,” murmured Donnie.  All of us stood there staring into the lush rainforest with disbelieving eyes. 

“It’s not the craziest thing I have seen all day,” I announced hoping to clear the thick tension that had been building about what lay behind the gate.  “Let’s go.”  I said as I pushed past Shae and took charge and the lead.

#

Following an out of place cobbled walkway, trees lined the each side of the path, giving me the feeling that I was on the yellow brick road.  Once again, we were being herded to a specific destination with new horrors awaiting us.  We had been walking for a good forty or so minutes, until I noticed a cabana made of sheik scarves up ahead.  There was no need for me to point this new makeshift structure to Donnie and Shae, because the scarves were bright, vivid colors that broke up the sea of green leaves.  To me the place looked like a tent for a maharajah’s harem, which did not sit well in my stomach.  If I had to go through some test, where I had to be part of a gang bang, I know I would be convicted of several counts of murder.

Still, the cobble stones were leading to the tent, so that is where we had to go, despite my feelings of misgiving.  Although Donnie had been subdued most of the day, he perked up when he saw the tent.  I could feel his childish excitement bubbling up in him; so far, he held himself back.  In all likelihood, Donnie was afraid of upsetting Shae, again.  I understood Shae’s reasoning for his anger at Donnie’s…well…stupidity, to put it plainly.  However, I disagree with his methods, so I gave Donnie one of my winning-men-go-breathless-when-they-see-me smiles.  As was expected, he did momentarily pause, which gave me a strange satisfaction.

Approaching the tent flap, I heard a girlish laughter that grated on my skin like harsh razors.  Hearing the laughter led to Shae pulling his gun out of his waistband and training the muzzle in front of him in a defensive stance.  A slight nudge of Shae’s head signaled Donnie and I to fall back, and we did so without question.  Shae moved the flap and stepped inside.  We followed suit. 

There lounging on a bunch of silken pillows that you only see in movies dealing with Arabian princesses was a petite Asian girl.  Dressed in linen so sheer that nothing was left to the imagination, she gave us a practiced coquettish smile.  The girl had shining blackish blue hair, deep brown eyes, and pouty lips.  She was the epitome of beauty.  Yes, I am beautiful, but I could not compare to the carnality that she embodied and exuded. 

It pleased me to no end that Shae did not lower his gun; even though, the girl before us was a whole foot shorter than him.  I saw the girl’s eyes flitter to Shae and Donnie; her eyes purposefully ignored my presence.  Another giggled escaped the girl as she got up from her nest of pillows and sensuously glided toward us.  I saw beads of sweat on Shae’s brows.  Was he nervous of this"this girl, who was blatantly trained in the sinful arts of prostitution?

You may wonder how I know this at first glance of this girl; but when you see one w***e, you have seen them all.  In this world, prostitutes were a fairly common sight, along with their world weary faces and hollow eyes.  The girl could not have been older than me, but already her profession was taking a toll on her.  In spite of her smile, there was something cold and calculating about her, which made me wary.  Caution would be used when dealing with this creature of evil desires.

Once she had her fill of the two male specimens, Shae and Donnie, her eyes deigned to take in my disheveled appearance.  I know I must look a mess after traveling for hours in the desert.  I could feel the sand in my hair, and in other unmentionable places…I was in the desperate need for a bath.  Compared to this girl, who was freshly washed, made up with cosmetics, and her hair perfectly combed, I was a disaster.  “You three must be the infamous Shae, Donnie, and,” she paused and gave me a sneer, which neither boy noticed, because they were so enthralled with the girl.  “And Elle.”

“It’s Arielle.”  Shae corrected her much to my astonishment for I thought he was entranced with the beauty.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Arielle,” the girl insincerely apologized, while never taking her beady little eyes off of Shae’s lean muscled form. 

“How do you know our names?”  I asked her, and she reluctantly glanced my way.

“Well, Arielle,” she put emphasis on my name, and again smiled sweetly at Shae.  My skin began to crawl at the way she targeted Shae for her assault. He’s mine girl!  Wait!  Where did that come from?  “If you happen to observe the three monitors behind me on the back wall of the tent, you will notice loops of your misadventures.” 

The three musketeers, Shae, Donnie, and I, as I so aptly named us, looked up to see the three monitors the girl described.  They did indeed have continuous loops: of Shae and me in the hallway of snakes, of me shooting the boy, and of Donnie and Shae’s fight. 

“So, I guess, you know all about us,” Shae mentioned, “but what is your name?”

“Oh that is an easy one.  I am Jolie, the erotically talented courtesan.  I can make all of your wildest dreams come true.”  Jolie announced in a supposedly seductive voice, and did a twirl, which made her dress ride up on her legs, revealing even more skin.  I almost snorted with laughter, but I held it back.  Part of me could not believe that she actually divulged her profession with us--perfect strangers.  But then again, she worked very closely with strangers, daily.  She then pranced over to Shae and Donnie and began to chat with them about the horrors she had to go through: no shower, no makeup artist, and so on.

Rolling my eyes was the only response I could give to Shae’s pleading look for me to save him from the little whirlwind.  A thorough survey of the tent informed me that even though trees surrounded us on three sides, the fourth wall, the opposite of where we entered, was covered in scarves.  Behind those gauzy strips of fabric was a wall--stainless steel with a handle-less door.  The room was filled with four pallets.  It was quite clear that the experimenters of this test wanted us to rest here for the night.  What piqued my interest was that on the pallet that Jolie had been resting on there were two letters from the test makers.  A quick look over my shoulder allowed me to confirm that Jolie was still chitchatting up a storm.  I bent over and picked up the heavy parchment.  Opening one letter, I read:  Seduce Shae.  Fury ripped through me.  I was about to open the other letter, but they were ripped from my hand. 

“Hasn’t your mother told you it is not nice to snoop?”  Jolie asked sweetly with narrowed eyes.

I replied with just as much sweet acid, “Oh, I am so sorry Jolie.  They fell off your bed, so I decided to pick them up for you.  You wouldn’t want them to get dirty, now would you?”  Both of us were locked in an intense stare down, until Shae broke us up by suggesting that we should settle in for the night.

“Oh, right you are, Shae!  You are a genius!”  Jolie gushed with twinkling eyes, and she had the gall to suggest that Shae take the bed beside hers.  Shae dared a peek at my scowl and began muttering something about sleeping near the entrance to protect us from intruders.  He was a smart boy not wanting to get involved with two women and possibly a catfight. 

The four of us settled down onto our respective pallets and got ready for a much needed good night’s sleep.  I tossed and turned for hours, replaying the horrors of the day in my mind: snakes, murder, desert, and now a prostitute, who was ordered to seduce Shae.  The first second that I was alone with Shae I would warn him of Jolie’s intentions, hoping that he would see right through her overly painted veneer.  Donnie’s and Shae’s snores made it impossible for me to sleep.  It probably did not help the matter that I was uncomfortable around Jolie.  Whatever the other note said it could not be good.  I sighed in frustration as I punched the pillow to reshape it to my desires.

“Can’t sleep?”  Jolie asked.

I saw her perched on the edge of her bed, staring straight at me.  “Is it that obvious?”  I sneered.

“I know that you saw the note.  And let me tell you, Arielle, I will f**k Shae, and he will enjoy it.  It’s only a matter of time.”

“Listen here you filthy, vile s**t,” I loudly whispered in vehemence, and I sat up, pointing at her to get my message across.  “Shae is mine.  Now, I don’t know your whole agenda, but as soon as we can, we are going to drop your sorry a*s.  We may need you for now…but mark my words if you even so much as glance at Shae in that whorish wanton way, I will be forced to act.”

“Oh, yeah…I’ve seen your handy work.  You shot that poor, crazed boy.”

Jolie’s taunts made my blood boil, and I walked over to her bed.  I saw her flinch back at my approach for she assumed I was all talk.  “If you ever mention that again, I swear you will end up like that boy…it may not be by my hands…but if you ever need help, remember this: I will not be there to lend you a hand.  I.  Will.  Walk.  Away.”  Jolie’s eyes widened in fear and I smiled in a cold, vindictive way, which was unusual for me, but I loved the feel of it. 

I went back to settle myself on the cot and finally get the much needed rest my body craved, but Jolie interjected one final time, “You need to remember that I watched the three of you get here.  I know what the note said in the hallway of snakes.  Let me recall: Kiss or kill him.  Am I remembering correctly?  And this was after your big speech of working as a ‘team’, yet you failed to let him know about your note…even though, he has shared everything with you.  Hmmm... Doesn’t seem fair to me, maybe I should wake him up and let him know that you have lied to him.”

“NO!”  I shouted, which caused Shae and Donnie to turn over, but they resumed their snoring after a few moments.

“Then no more threats from you Miss Holier than Thou, or I might just have to let the truth slip to Shae.”  Jolie said smugly, before adding, “Goodnight, Arielle.”

I was shocked into silence by the little girl, who I could snap in half with not much effort.  My first thoughts of her were correct and I would need to watch myself around her…it was like dealing with a vicious guard dog.  Yeah, they are great to keep intruders away, but they can turn on you.  Sleep clouded my thoughts.  Finally, I sank into a much deserved oblivion.

#

The next morning, we woke up to four canteens filled with water at the entrance of the tent.  There was no food though.  My stomach rumbled in protest after having such a delectable feast the day before.  The four of us took a few minutes to drink the water to rehydrate ourselves, as well as to mentally prepare for what lie ahead.  Along with the canteens, the door had been opened.

I had seen Donnie inch towards it, but a swift glare from Shae stopped him in his tracks.  Even Jolie was subdued this morning.  I had concluded that she had been here for quite some time and was not looking forward to the next test.  She had seen what we went through in order to get here, and now she was not so brave.  Her rosy cheeks had gone pale, and her eyes kept darting back to the door in apprehension. 

I stood up, when I was finished with my water, signaling to Shae that I was ready to move on.  This time I let him take the lead into the next nightmare.  Jolie followed close to me; I could practically hear her heartbeat with frantic thumps.  My lips of their own accord tilted up in amusement at her fear.  Following close behind Jolie, Donnie took up the rear, in hopes to prove to Shae that he was not some weakling. 

We walked down a dimly lit hallway for a good five minutes.  The entire time Jolie kept mumbling something about snakes, and messing up her perfect hair.  Geez, this girl was going to drive me crazy. Finally, the hallway led to a large square room: three walls of stainless steel, one wall made up of smart glass, and two uncomfortable looking steel chairs.  The smart glass proved that these people were rolling in the dough, because only the elite could afford it.  There was a slightly transparent square in the smart glass that one must assume be a door, because there was no other way out.  As always, the door slammed shut behind us; Jolie jumped from fright.  The three of us were used to it by now, so we began to investigate the room.

“There’s no f*****g way out!”  Jolie began to pound on the door that we had just come through. 

None of us made a move to stop her.  Instead, the three of us went over to the smart glass.  Its surface had begun to ripple like water, when a rock disturbs its peaceful surface.  Then in a cacophony of colors and sound, the room was filled with the recording that we were watching.  Jolie had stopped her crying and pounding, quietly slinking to Shae’s side.  This time I ignored her; at least, I tried to, anyway. 

Images flashed before our eyes.  Lab rooms filled with teenagers and children with wires hooked up to them.  Another image showed a girl my age being tested for fertility…and it showed all of the grotesque imagery that went along with that.  Pictures of other teenagers in similar positions appear: some in a maze figuring a way out, others in a jungle fighting for their lives, and the rest were in an arena of sorts.  Dozens of pictures materialized showing dozens and dozens of dead bodies--dead teenagers.  My heart was in my throat at these disturbing images.  Why were they showing us this?  There were a few shots of white biohazard suit clad people along with a man in a threadbare coat…Something about that man was familiar, but that was impossible… Then our little show was over, and the door appeared in the smart glass.

“That was too easy…”  Shae whispered, copying my earlier sentiment.

“Why’d you have to go and say that?”  Jolie snapped; she did not seem to do well under pressure.  “Now this room is going to get filled with snakes…or flesh-eating ladybugs,” she said in a sidelong taunt.

“Shut up, w***e.”  I yelled at the stupid girl.  “You can stay here if you want, but I for one am getting out of this place.”  All the time that I was yelling, Shae and Donnie took the initiative to check out the room on the other side of the glass.  Although, one could plainly see that there was no door by looking through the glass. 

“Who gives you the right to call me a w***e, murderer!”  Jolie retorted with a scream as she stepped right up into my face.  I saw red.  I reacted.  With all my might, I slapped her hard across the face, and she stumbled back.

With a hand to her cheek that I had just slapped, she cried, “How could you?”  That was when I heard the door close--one of the worst sounds in my life.  Turning my back on Jolie, I rushed to the closed door at the same time as Shae with Donnie close behind.  I began to pound on the door, and I felt tears form.  I looked deep into Shae’s eyes and he did the same.  I could not be separated from him now--not until we got out of this place…maybe not even then.  

I saw Shae mouth: “Calm down.”  I barely had time to read the words, when the light on their side went dark.  I could not see them at all.  I began to freak out just as much as Jolie, who was a basket case, sitting on one of the metal chairs.  S**t!  I tried pounding on the smart glass, but to no avail.  But then, the glass began to ripple, again.  I stopped my efforts and stood in front of the forming picture.

Time has come to pick a side.

Death is inevitable.

You will choose who lives:

Shae or Donnie

I felt my hands begin to go numb.  There was no way I could choose between Shae and Donnie.  Shae had supported me through all of the tough challenges thus far…and Donnie was like one of my brothers.  The screams began.  I could hear Shae and Donnie screaming for their lives, and a cold sweat of fear layered on my skin.  On the smart glass, the countdown began.

Fifteen seconds.

There were two buttons one to save Shae’s life and the other was to save the life of Donnie.  My hand shook as I placed one hand over one button, and then the other.  Was I destined to be a murderer again?

Twelve seconds.

Shae’s reluctant smile appeared in my mind, along with our fiery kiss.  A kiss that could make ice melt.  I remembered his gentle hands guiding me through the aftermath of the wild boy’s death.  I would not have survived without him.  How could I just let him die, after I killed for him?

Nine seconds.

Sweet and innocent Donnie, who never did a horrible thing in his whole life, except unwittingly sell his dog to a dog fighter, popped up into my mind.  Did he deserve to die?  Yes, he was annoying, but could I sentence him to death just to save Shae?  His cheerful demeanor helped me to not completely break down after everything that had happened.  Could I sacrifice his life?

Six seconds.

I could not do this.  I could not decide, who to save and who to condemn to death.  This was just utterly wrong.  This whole test was fucked up beyond comprehension!  “What’s the point?!”  I screamed out in frustration; Jolie did not look up from her routine of rocking back and forth.  The awful screaming continued.  Anger and hatred fueled me.  Picking up the other steel chair, I stated in my defiance against the experimenters: F**k you!  I threw the chair into the glass, which created a thin crack in it.

Three seconds.

Hope blossomed.  Again, I picked up the chair.  With all of my might and soul and anger and hatred, I threw that chair into the glass, which shattered upon impact.  Jolie stopped rocking back and forth, as I stared dumbfounded at Shae and Donnie, who appeared to be fine…and definitely not in pain.  I raced through the glass and ran into Shae, who embraced me.  I admit he was a tad bit confused at my outburst of emotion.

“What’s wrong, Arielle?”  Shae asked me in his soothing tenor.

The tears that had formed earlier know began to leak down my cheeks.  “They were trying to make me decide to choose between you and Donnie. I’m sorry I couldn’t!” I mumbled as I pressed my face into his shirt, inhaling his heady masculine scent.

“What are you talking about?”

I peered up into his handsome face…and I startled myself at my admission of Shae’s attractiveness.  “The experimenters demanded that I pick one of you to live…while the other would die.  I heard you both screaming!  It was horrible…I didn’t know what to do...I couldn’t be a murderer--not again.” 

In Shae’s eyes, I could see revulsion for what the experimenters had tried to make me do.  “Well, it’s over now.”

“Is it?”  Jolie quietly asked.

This time, Donnie spoke, “Do you have to be such a b***h?”  His comment shocked both Shae and me, because it was so unlike him.

“I’m not trying to be…look.”  Jolie pointed behind us to a door in the process of sliding open. 

Then a loud voice boomed and echoed in the room.  In a mock salute of sideshow carnies’, the voice announced, “Step up!  Step up!  The room of consequences lies ahead.”

 




© 2011 Vanessa Rico


Author's Note

Vanessa Rico
I have co-wrote this story with Dog Meat Todd. All of Arielle's POV chapters have been written by me, Vanessa Rico; and all of Shae's POV chapters have been written by Dog Meat Todd! Constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Let us know what you liked or didnt like...or what you think about what is in store! We love the feedback!!**

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A few grammatical things...You don't need the comma after the first word of the story.
"However, I disagree with his methods, so I gave Donnie one of my winning-men-go-breathless-when-they-see-me smiles." "Disagree" should be "disagreed," and I think "winning" should be dropped from the string of hyphenated words and separated with a comma (very small thing, I know).
"Yes, I am beautiful"--you switched tenses here. It should be "Yes, I knew I was beautiful."
"...even though, the girl before us was a whole foot shorter than him." (Don't need a comma here)
"He’s mine girl!" Insert a comma after "mine."
"Arielle asked sweetly with narrowed eyes." --> That should be Jolie speaking.
I loved Arielle's and Jolie's conversation! It made me laugh. Jolie drives me crazy! :) Very interesting with another girl added to the group.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Okay, I love this, more than your apocalypse story. So sorry if I stop reading that one to gourge on this, it is awesome! I will have to catch up on this but with how much I'm enjoying it and want to read more that will be easy. ~ BlackCl0ud

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very interesting

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

The spelling and grammar have already been covered so I'll comment on the story.

A strong chapter this one, tensions are growing, a minx has been thrown in to test Arielle (more so than the boys) and there's nothing I can see which would add to or alter their actions based on their circumstances.

Good write.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The story is getting stronger. I like the new character and the new situation in the desert. The storyline is excellent. I desire to read the who, what, why. where and how with each chapter. I look forward to see where you are going with this chapter.
Coyote


Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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TJ
Very good piece! A few minor errors, and maybe a bit wordy in some places but all in all I like your characters and their ability to draw the reader in and really make the reader care about them

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved it! Such tension, such drama and all in the face of terrible odds. I actually felt my heart pounding in my chest when the smart glass door shut and the timer started. You two do fantastic work together. Keep it up!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Everybody's already covered the grammatical stuff, so I will just Oooh! and Aaaaah! over the story. You are just getting better and better at this. I like the idea of introducing another girl. Now Arielle has a little competition and the whole group has to put up with a whiney little wild card. Breaking the glass in that one room was sheer genius. That is what I would have done in the situation. You don't always have to play by the rules.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"it this far without us(,) kid?" "I knew my embarrassment"and longing"would show on my face" "Shae saw what caught my attention(,) and we met at the niche-like opening," "To me(,) the place looked like a tent" I'm unsure of that one. "Was he nervous of this"this girl," "Oh(,) that is an easy one." "alone with Shae(,) I would warn him" "widened in fear(,) and I smiled in a cold" "The entire time(,) Jolie kept mumbling something about snakes,(no comma) and messing up her perfect hair." "ripple like water, when a rock" No comma. "“Shut up, w***e.(! or ,)” I yelled"

"this creature of evil desires." I love that. Beautiful.

Dear lord. That countdown part was intense. Another amazing chapter. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Wow. I'm addicted. lol

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

dang!!!0.0 its greeat!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 13, 2011
Last Updated on May 13, 2011
Tags: Experiments, Teens, survival of the fittest


Author

Vanessa Rico
Vanessa Rico

Walhalla, SC



About
Hey writerscafe! Its been a very long hiatus since I have been on here and actively writing. I have missed both writing and this community. When I was first on here, I was a mom of 1 but now I have be.. more..

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