A short short story/microfiction/flash fiction for a contest.
Bread. That's why he was here on this
scaffold, on this stool. A loaf of bread to feed himself is why the
thief was standing here, staring into the dirt caked faces of the
crowd. And as the noose was placed around his neck, he couldn't help
but laugh.
*Claps* Well done, my friend, well done indeed. Some stories only need 49 words, yet it feels like there was more. I guess I'd have to compare your story to sausage (I apoligize to anyone reading this who is vegitarian); it was something small that had so much compressed into it and was good, no, more than good: Great. I'm sure we all have our own opinions about the story, but to me I rather enjoy the fact of him laughing at the end. It's as if to say "you call me a thief, but I call myself a surviver." The croud watches him as his time of death draws near, acting as if they're better than him, simply because he was forced to steal bread instead of being given some like most of the crowd. There is so much more to say about this, but for the sake of sanity I'll have to stop myself. Well done Weston and may I say you've done something that I have seen so many times before from other people, but in your case you were actually worth reading. As Frank West would say, "Fantastic!"
-Red
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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I love how much this says, how much of a story it gives. And then the part at the end, where he laughs and it makes the whole thing seem like such a stupid idea, being hanged for a loaf of bread. This whole thing was really nicely done.
This is wonderful. I tried writing a flash fiction piece as well, and it's no easy feat. It was a catch-22 for this thief, steal bread and be hung, or starve. I love that you have him laughing at the end. Although laughter in my mind sounds cold, like the laughter of insanity. But that's the world he comes from, a world ruled by insanity. He's being hung for something probably half the crowd has done as some point, being poor, but they just weren't caught. Once again, great job. You have succeeded in conveying a story in 49 words, and a good one at that.
*Claps* Well done, my friend, well done indeed. Some stories only need 49 words, yet it feels like there was more. I guess I'd have to compare your story to sausage (I apoligize to anyone reading this who is vegitarian); it was something small that had so much compressed into it and was good, no, more than good: Great. I'm sure we all have our own opinions about the story, but to me I rather enjoy the fact of him laughing at the end. It's as if to say "you call me a thief, but I call myself a surviver." The croud watches him as his time of death draws near, acting as if they're better than him, simply because he was forced to steal bread instead of being given some like most of the crowd. There is so much more to say about this, but for the sake of sanity I'll have to stop myself. Well done Weston and may I say you've done something that I have seen so many times before from other people, but in your case you were actually worth reading. As Frank West would say, "Fantastic!"
-Red
Brilliant. There's a wealth of thought compressed into those 49 words. A person who's about to be hung for stealing bread, what does he think? What can he possibly think? A cruel society that is harsh upon the poor and easy upon the rich. Quite appropriately, the person can only laugh. Awesome!