Losing My Father

Details of losing her father and dealing with the abuse even more so that he died.

My father had his gambling and drinking problems

just as my momma did, but he was not as bad. It

was my father who was at home with us while my

momma stayed out late gambling and partying. It was

my father who made sure we had dinner and put us

to bed. He combed our hair, fed us, and walked us

to school every day. However, my father went to jail

from time to time, and when he did, our shield of

protection went with him.

When he was away, it felt like my life was over.

Who was going to take care of us while she was out all

night? What about the drunks that would come banging

on the door late at night for a bottle of corn liquor? Who

was going to protect us from them in case they knew we

were there alone? All these thoughts crossed my mind,

accompanied by fear and hopelessness.

 

It was all up to us when he was away in jail. We

had to bond closer than ever before. All I did was

pray for my father’s quick release so he could come

home and look after us, but there came a time he

spent his last days in jail. The last gambling raid, my

father didn’t get away as usual. He was captured, and

this time there was a warrant for his arrest. Upon his

death, my mother told me he once shot a guy after

getting into an argument while gambling. The man

later died, and the police finally got a lead on the case

that landed him in jail.

 

I would never see his smiling face or the warmth

from his tender care again. My father, after being

incarcerated for thirty years, died from a liver disease.

I was forty-five at his arrest. With so many years passing

while he was incarcerated and not much communication,

his death didn’t affect us negatively. However,

losing him still left an empty place in our hearts,

but my mom, as expected, didn’t show any emotions.

Reviews

[Rayanna]

I hope this didint really happen to you, because this isnt something i would wish on anyone not even my worst enemy.But this is really deep and i can relate fully to how you feel.