Now You're a ManA Story by Wayne Rockmore A young boy tries desperately to define his manhood on the last day of 7th grade by asking a girl on a date for the first time. Dave had been rehearsing in his mind for the last three months what he would say to Jenny on the last day of seventh grade. They’d had a history class and a computer class together. She said hi to him sometimes, often with a smile that rendered him catatonic. Sometimes when it looked like she might pass him on the way to her seat, he would offer a pre-emptive hi. One time she winked at him. She was a goddess. He was in love. Who knows what could happen during the summer if he didn’t go through with this today? Over the previous summer, between sixth and seventh grade, Jenny grew b***s. Dave and his friends talked a lot about them, thought a lot about them, fantasized about them, studied them as a scientist studies complex mathematical equations and theoretical propositions to determine the origins of the universe. If Dave didn’t do something today, on the last day of school, he was a dead man. She would surely be dating somebody else by fall. A high schooler probably. One of her older brother’s friends. They’d likely be over at her house all summer long, swimming in her pool, looking at her, talking to her. She would be defenseless against them. The thoughts burned in Dave’s mind, giving propulsion to the urgency of his mission. Dave watched her emptying her locker from a distance. He hung back at the water fountain near the steps that she was going to have to go down to leave the building. They would bump into each other and he would ask her out. Simple plan. She closed her locker and gathered her things. He couldn’t back out now. He’d told his best friend Sid what he was planning to do, and Sid listened with astonishment, unable to comprehend how you even go about doing what Dave set out to do. “What are you going to say to her?” he asked in bewildered amazement. Dave explained his plan to Sid. He felt a rising confidence as he confided in his friend, and suddenly the task seemed easier for him knowing how much Sid looked up to him now. Sid definitely would have told Jon and Billy and they would all be waiting for Dave at the park, waiting to hear all the sensational details. They would hang out later on, play some basketball, and project all the erotic scenarios available to a thirteen year old boy’s imagination that Dave could potentially find himself in during the next 75 days of summer vacation. This was going to be the best summer ever. If he succeeded in this today, he would be a man. His friends would still be boys. He would exist on a higher plane though. It would be lonely at the top, but it usually is for heroes and gods. There was no rope to throw down to his friends. They would have to find their own way up there, and when they did Dave would be waiting for them, offering a hand-slap and a bro hug as one by one they made their way up to the stratospheric plane. Dave dipped down to take a drink from the fountain, watching from his periphery as Jenny approached with her book bag slung over her shoulder. He raised himself up and spun to her just as she was making the turn for the stairs. “Hey, Jenny.” “Oh, hi Dave,” she said, her mouth spreading into a smile that made Dave lightheaded and weak in the knees. "What are you doing?” she asked. “Nothing. Getting out of here.” “I know. Finally, it’s summer.” They descended the steps. “Are you moving on to geometry next year?” he asked her. “Yeah. I hear it’s really hard. My parents are making me take a pre-geometry class for three weeks this summer.” “That sucks.” “Yeah. What about you?” “Yeah. I’m not worried though. Maybe we’ll be in the same class.” “I hope so.” Dave started to sweat. An enthusiastic “I hope so,” a smile, eye contact. Her arm brushed his. It was on. Go for it, he told himself. They rounded the bottom of the stairwell and began the final stretch of hallway into the bright afternoon beyond the glass doors. That light was victory or death, thought Dave. The finish line. Do or die. They walked side by side in silence. Dave rubbed his hands together as he searched desperately for something else to say. He tried to remember what he’d rehearsed. The perfect phrasing. The perfect delivery. It was all slipping from his memory. His mind raced, thoughts passing one another in a speeding blur of multi-directional traffic patterns. He found himself unable to grasp any of them. Geometry, bikes, basketball, b***s, boyfriends, girlfriends, summer... It was all collapsing into a pile of dust and debris in his mind. He had to relax, think, speak -- quickly! The light was descending on him, overtaking him, blinding him. The door hissed as she pushed it open and the light enveloped them. He rushed to get ahead of her, cursing himself for not holding the first set of doors for her, but determined to get to the second set before her. Outside the buses were lined up in front of the building. Kids were running around screaming, cheering, and laughing. Dave looked at them. That was not him anymore. He was about to be a man. This was it -- the fulcrum that would determine the remainder his existence. “So, what are you doing this summer?” he asked her. “We’re going to Orlando in July. I can’t wait. It’s gonna be so much fun.” “That’s cool.” “What about you?” “Nothing. Sleeping in until noon. Staying up all night. It’s gonna be awesome.” She smiled and nodded. Someone called her name. She glanced over her shoulder. Dave panicked. “I gotta go,” she said. “Well, have a good summer, Dave.” Dave felt his world slipping away from him. He watched her turn in slow motion and take a step away. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Wait -- Jen. I, uh… Can I ask -- tell you something...uh…? ” She turned back to him and waited expectantly. The look of anticipation sent Dave into a panic. Gibberish raced through Dave’s mind. Starting in his abdomen and working its way up through his chest and spilling out over his dry lips came: “Have a nice summer. See you next year.” What did I just say, he thought. What have I done? She waved at him, turned, and walked away. But, but, but...I, I, I...blew it! She’s gone. It’s over. My life is over, he thought. He waited on a bench outside the school as the kids dispersed and the buses pulled out. He was alone. Had it really happened? Maybe it was all in his mind -- a dream, a nightmare -- and he would wake up at 6:45 this morning and realize it hadn’t happen. But it did. He got up, threw his bag over his shoulder, and walked away. She’s gone. Forever. She’ll be with somebody by fall for sure. Probably some tenth grader, he lamented. He couldn’t even blame someone else. The shame belonged to him and his own cowardly inaction. It was the words, the words, the words that sat on his tongue for months and slid back down his throat when he most needed them, being replaced by, “Have a nice summer. See you next year.” Sonofabitch! What a moron! I should jump off a bridge tonight, he thought. At least maybe then she would respect me. Who cares about other girls? They’re not like her, he thought. He could see his entire life with her. She was the only one. Now there was nothing. Dave reached the park finally. Sid, Jon, and Billy stopped shooting the ball and ran up to him. “Well, well, well, look who it is,” said Sid. “Did you do it?” asked Billy. “What happened? C’mon, details...” demanded Jon. Dave looked at them. He dropped his bag. The anticipation was driving his friends mad. It made him feel slightly better. “What did she say?” asked Sid. Dave looked across the faces of his three friends. “She, uh...she said...yes!” And a triumphant smile spread across his face. “Whoa!” “Wow!” “Amazing!” “You did it!” his friends cheered. Dave was restored by their admiration. It sustained him. He regaled them with details of a scenario that played out in his mind as more real than reality. He believed his own words because his friends believed them. A new Jenny was born and they all took part in her creation whether they knew it or not. And she belonged to all of them. It was a glorious moment for Dave. He was a man in the eyes of his friends. They played ball, ate hot dogs, and drank big gulps from 7eleven, and stayed up all night playing video games. And when Dave went to bed that night he slept well knowing that this Jenny was his and would remain his, just as she would for his friends too. They constructed the best version of her in their imaginations, and continuously brought her to life in their boyishly perverse fantasies that summer. She would be the metric by which all future girls would be measured against. They were all men after that. But to the others, Dave was the man that summer. © 2015 Wayne RockmoreReviews
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