In the Land of Orange

any resemblance to actual people in government is pure coincidence

In the Land of Orange (650 words)

Inspired by the Song---‘Monster ‘by Steppenwolf

 

Colonel Jeremiah Pickleprick, chief interrogator, torturer, and executioner, opened the door to the torture chamber, entered, and said to his subordinates,   “Don’t kill him! Not just yet...let him suffer excruciating pain for his affront to our Grand Magnificence, Lonfeld P. Dumplefrump the 1st.

 

I suggest that we disembowel him, very slowly, with the utmost precision. Put him on the rack, it will be easier to gut him while his muscles are stretched to their limits.” Pickleprick rubbed his hands in gleeful anticipation and with a wide grin said, “Hopefully we’ll break a few bones in the process as well. This is going to be loads of fun slicing and dicing this traitorous malcontent, so I’ll be handling this one myself. Get me my tools and hand me that butcher knife. Put on your goggles and smocks, this is going to get a little messy.”

Durack Furama’s screams of agony echoed through every corner of the building. It sent chills and waves of despair throughout the remaining malcontents awaiting interrogation.

.........

Deep in bayou country in the heart of the marshlands where alligators’ gnawed on zombie bones and craw-daddies feasted on their flesh, a meeting of utmost importance was taking place down by the shack owned by Jumping Jack Jimmy Jam Jones. It was Jimmy jam who called for the meeting. He was quite pissed off; his precious Louisiana, now a ruined wasteland, was overrun by crazed politicized female zombies. He and some of his demonic allies contained the contagion but at a great cost. The marshlands were polluted with decayed flesh and the mudbugs were now lousy eating. Things needed to be set straight, the Monster Orange squeezed dry.

Jimmy Jam’s hounds howled and barked till everyone quieted down.  Jimmy stood up on a broken crate and said, “Let’s get this meeting to order. I’m gratified to see most of hell’s elite at this meeting. Hell and Earth are at a dire crossroad. The Monster Orange wants to claim both for his own. Our Fiddling Fiddler the Lady Santana, the Devil Incarnate, has been kidnapped by this gloating buffoon.  Mephistopheles unwittingly led Satanna into the Devil’s trap by being beguiled by the Monster’s charms. Now they’re both imprisoned in the Fire Circle and forced to do his bidding. We need to free them both and put an end to his despicable life before he rules this world and moves on to hell and ends ours. Now there is evil and there is Evil. Our brand of evil is to balance out the good. His brand of Evil is vile and toxic. It destroys to destroy, not to renew and regenerate. It’s time to make the Land of Orange turn red with his blood.”

All the demons and those humans aligned with Hell, raised their fists in salute and headed off to the Monster’s Lair in Florida.

.............

Yeshiva Shannon patted his faithful monster puppet, Lonfeld Dumplefrump on his orangey head. This sent Lonfeld into orgasmic ecstasy. Yeshiva smiled and said,” You’ve done well. The world has collapsed; your release of the zombie contagion has devastated the world eco-systems and governments. With your timely antidote to unzomify the zombies and promises to rebuild, it has accepted you as their Savior. It’s now time to take my leave.”

Lonfeld pissed himself. He said,” Why are you leaving me! I’m nothing without you.” 

“So true, so true,” said Yeshiva. “You’ve incurred Hell’s wrath, they’re on their way to rip your heart out.  The Devil and I had a falling out eons ago. I’ve been lonely without her since. I needed to show how much I missed her by letting a monster on the loose and causing an unscheduled apocalypse. She’s giving me another chance.  Don’t look so glum; as you burn in hell you can take comfort that for a little while at least, you had God on your side...”