The Repeating Quissent/rainbow stowaway

A failed attempt at the form piece "The Repeating Quissent" a form invented and copyrighted by Michael-or I could call it a Variation on "The Repeating Quissent" but that would be a conceit-being that I'm not proficient in the form.

Rainbow dreams fade at the seams.

 

They glide,

escape,

on sunbeams;

 

surfing on waves and rays of morning sun,

 

riding high,

triumphant,

heavenly fun;

 

 

multi-jeweled memes and sunbeams.

 

But dreams,

collide,

at the seams;

 

where nightmares wake reaping hellish fun.

 

It surrounds,

erupting,

blocking the sun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I tried to do a repeating quissent a marvelously complex and challenging form piece. I failed in spades. To see the correct form go to Michael s page and look it up. I thought is was elegantly simple but in retrospect it's elegantly complex. At first I followed all the steps -or so I thought- When I went over the poem I realized I didn't follow the proper syllable count- I tried to correct in but messed it up totally- I then had a bones of a poem with a different syllable count with added rhyme. I followed the syllable formula- in sixteen lines - did most of the patterns -not all and messed up on the syllable structure or beats in the lines. I used the punctuation but incorrectly- this is an extremely difficult form- When done right - the form is like a meditation -very light and ethereal- My piece is a harder tone- Kudos to Micheal -I hope to do it right the next time-

This piece follows the look and basic structure of "The Repeating Quisennt"



Structure format of the Correct- Repeating Quissent

The Repeating Quisset, invented- copyrighted by Michael
consists of sixteen lines with a 2-1 rhyme.
Written with 8 stanzas, in a 1-3 pattern.
The syllable formula is:
7 // 2-2-3 // 10 // 3-3-4 // 7 // 2-2-3 // 10 // 3-3-4.
With a specific line pattern as follows:
The last words in the 1st, 5th, 9th and 13th line must be A//B//A//B.
Repeating the same rhythm as the last words in the 1st, 5th, 9th,and 13th line,
the 4th, 8th, 12th and 16th line must be A//B//A//B.
The 1st and 4th line must be A//A. The 5th and 8th line must be B//B.
The 9th and 12th line must be A//A.
The 13th and 16th line must be B//B.
With 12 counts, the last word in the 1st line must be the same last word as in the 12th line.
Repeating 12 counts, the last word in the 5th line must match the last word in the 16th line.
Being five counts between the 1st and 5th line, the last word in the 4th line and the 9th line must be the same.
Repeating 5 counts, the last word in the 8th line must be the same as the last word in the 13th line.
With a specific syllable count as follows:
1-1-2-1-2
1-1
2
1-2
1-2-3-3-1
1-2
3
3-1
1-1-2
1-1
2
1-2
1-2-3-3-1
1-2
3
3-1


with a strict punctuation scale as
period, comma, comma, semicolon, period, comma, comma, semicolon, period, comma, comma,
semicolon, period, comma, comma, period- and form is center text.

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

the flow of this poem is vry good it leads the reader to the next line and
gives you a complete image
I liked it

[Red Raven]

"where nightmares wake reaping hellish fun."

You really know how to play with the right words. I love reading your work. Keep writing.

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Love it Bob. I don't know that form, but whatever this was, I fully enjoyed it! Flowed like cool water over my hot brain.

Cheers!
FF
GM
BOB
LMNOP

[Michael X]

this is absolutely subtle and the flow is captiving, I loved the way you devised the intention, and that being
the underlying feature of broken dreams illumintated by the idea of sunlight and the elements of joy
succeeding the means yet the aspect of darkness pierces the heart of the true meaning and that is
to be torn at the seams, allowing light to shine through, the light of dying belief, brilliantly composed.

[Susan]

Bob,
It is still a good poem, regardless of the form... it sounds like my life at times... Thank you for another good write...

[deeps]

I like it I have never seen a form like this before, but then again I don't know all that much about different forms I just recently learned how to write a Hailu,

multi-jeweled memes and sunbeams - I did like this line here, even tho i don't know what a memes is.

Wonderful write.