One Wish

One Wish

A Poem by Jonathan Biswell
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Mainly a venting poem

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No, if I had one wish I would wish for friends that would hang out with me after school or at least call or text me. Friends during school are nice but seeing them after school would be great, true friends would want to try and hang out with me where are those true friends.


 

No, if I had one wish it would to become a wolf and run thought the forest with my brother and sisters. Sometimes I don’t feel human sometimes I think maybe being an animal would be nicer since they have more freedom nor bound by rules as we humans are. Wolfs are not as evil as most people think they are just misunderstood kind of like... me


No, if I had one wish I would wish it would to become a werewolf. Three night of a month I would change who know it might be fun. Being able to hear better, smell better, and reflexes that most human don’t have. Also I would belong to a pack meaning I would have a lot of friends and we would get to hang out together...


No, if I had one wish I would calm the storm in my brain. Every day there is a storm in my brain and it cause me great pain, unable to think straight or I can no longer store things in my mind, the storms need to end and let the sun thought.


No, if had one wish I would wish for a proper family mine feels distance, mother who use to be a good mother now is just a lazy mother, step father who would treat me like his son and not a burden he has to watch. Little brother who thinks he can get whatever he wants just by snapping his fingers. Sometimes I even wonder why I am in this family I am nothing like them...


No, if I had one wish I would like to be able to jump into any movies and have a part in that movie and even after it was over the life would still go on. Sometimes movies are better than life wonder what it would be like to jump into Avatar and be a Na'vi or jump into a cartoon and see the world from their eyes, maybe jump into an old TV and just stay there forever


No, if I had one wish I would like my mom to stop treating me like a slave, sometimes I don’t think I am even on her list of things to worry about, take out the dog before you take a shower, take out the dog before you eat, omg can you fix me a coke even though I am right next to the damn refrigerator. What am I to her a son or a slave...


No, if I had one wish it would to have the power of teleportation so I can visit the most amazing places and see some of my friends I don’t get to see a lot. Teleporting would be fun just think of a place and POOF I am there and it would be a nice way to run away in the blink of an eye I would have ported across three different states before they would know I am gone.


No, if I had one wish I would like to go to an alien planet and stay there sometimes Earth is not that great maybe if I go to a different planet one that is cover with nothing but tree I will find a race of alien who would like me to live with them. Wonder what it would be like to live with aliens...


No, if I had one wish I would wish for stop being forgotten so easily, a "friend" can talk to me for a few minutes then forgot all about me for the rest of the day, it makes me feel more and more like a ghost, when my "friends" do that it makes me feel like I am worthless and that they don’t care me about as much as I care about them.


No, if I had one wish it is to have a place of my own already because I am sick of living with my lazy mom, it would only be me and my dog living there and have my friends come over whenever they want too. A place of my own sounds great my own little slice of heaven, no one to treat me like there slave, no one acting like I am there butler so ready for a place of my own.


No, if I had one wish it would be to have a different name there are days were I am sick of hearing my name I want a different name maybe one that is me my name does not fit me maybe Arian that sounds nice an better than my current name maybe one day I will change my name.


No, if I had one wish it would be to have different parents sometimes I wonder if mine are really mine I am nothing like my mother who sits around texting all day or watching even or giving me orders or my father who is talking to thousands of girls and who has a different girlfriends almost each time I talk to him, and even my brother who thinks he is the king and too good to do any chores who are my real parents...


No, if I had one wish it would to make my life like an anime because real life is BORING maybe a supernatural anime, what about a fantasy. If I was in a supernatural anime it would be something like something is corrupting nature its self and there are a group of people who have animal spirits to help them fight it and also it would have some love and comedy elements to it, for the fantasy one...maybe something like Lies but on a grander scale and no running for my life still able to go to school just had to watch my back for the enemy and still able to hang out with my friends it would have some comedy to ease the tension and some romantic elements


No, if I had one wish it would be to have a new brain my current one is broken, I have headaches every day, and I feel like I can’t remember anything anymore. My brain is nothing but a black hole it suck things in and POOF it is gone forever, also I get minor throbbing pain in my head. Can I please have a new brain one that works and store thing forever


No, if I had one wish it would be stopping myself from holding things in because I’ve been holding thing back for 20 year. That can’t be healthy for the brain or the soul. I did not even cry at my grandma funeral which everyone was crying their eyes out not a single tear was shed from me, even for my grandma on my dad’s side of the family I did not even want to go I was force I know I will always have issues with her. Even around friends and family I keep things to myself I don’t know what I do it, it just happens. I wonder how long I can last before my brain or soul breaks...


No, if I had one wish it would be that people will respect me, sometimes I even wonder why I bother fighting since it hardly does anything for me. Any time I say no to my brother he starts acting like a little spoiled brat and runs to mommy saying " I am being mean" or "MOM HAVE him to this". They say I have their respect but sometimes I highly doubt that...is it too much to ask is for them to respect me like a person...


No, if I had one wish it would be to increase my self-esteem because I don’t have any I’ve been bully since the second grade and no one told how to protect myself so there words have scared my heart and soul. No one show me how to up my self-esteem so for 20 years I’ve been walking around with hardly no self-esteem yes I may look like I have a lot of it but in truth I don’t even own a single ounce of self-esteem...


No, if I had one wish it would be never be afraid to hope, for as long as I can remember any time I get my hopes up about something BOOM something always happen. So I made sure never to get my hopes up for anything because something will always happen here is a little example, the day of my friends b day party I was having a pretty bad day I was fluking every single class the only thing keeping me going was being able to see them and have fun but as soon as I saw my little brother in the car I knew I was not going to make it I just broke down crying (it takes a lot to make me cry) I spend the rest of the day in silence and tears. I want to start hoping again but I don’t know...maybe one day it will stop being poison to me...


No, if I had one wish it would be that people will listen to me I feel like when I talk no one listens to what I have to say, even my own parents don’t listen to what I say sometimes which does kind of annoy me but it something I have to deal with maybe I should just stop talking I doubt no one will notice I stopped talking...what is the reason for a voice if no one listen to you...


No, if I had one wish it would be able to have a life at night, I am not a morning person I am sleepy during the day but when the sun goes down I am more active, I don’t even like the sun I rather see the moon more. Maybe one day I will have a night life and during the day I will just sleep


No, if I had one wish it would be to have new eyes because mine are broken I sometimes see something moving out of the corner of my eyes but when I turn around there is nothing there, also my eyes do ach sometimes which is really annoying. If I was to get a new pair of eyes I would change the color of my eyes blue like some wolfs and dogs have and I would also be able to see thing far away without squinting. Maybe someday I will get to have those eyes


No, if I had one wish it would be to find my soul mate and IF I could plan how I meet him it would be something like I was at the mall maybe on Halloween and he notice one of my tattoo and he came over to say how cool it is then we started having a random conversation then he asks if he can have my cell number. Then one week he asks if he can take me out on a date the date was a simple date nothing fancy but it was still great then he asks me to be his boyfriend IF I could plan how I meet my soul mate that would be it


No, if I had one wish it would be to go back into time and find the guy make made Valentine’s Day and shot their brains out, because this day is nothing but depress and the end of a bottle for some people. Teenagers should not be allowed to even celebrate this day because they care about what’s in their pants, how big is the other person wallet, etc. while married couples are allowed to celebrate this day because they have gone through trails and error to learn that person love. So if anyone has a time machine please lend it to me...


No, if I had one wish it would be to be in a relationships just so I can get away from my mom and my family, all I would have to do is to text him and right when school lets out he is right there waiting for me. He would take me to his house, there we would watch movies, TV etc. then right around 9ish he would take me home. Maybe one day it will happen...


No, if I had one wish it would be able to tell people how I feel but it is either I don’t want people to worry or I just don’t want to tell people...I’ve always had issue trying to tell people how I feel so I think I just stopped telling people how I feel. I know that will get me in trouble one day but that is just who I am and I don’t think I will ever be able to tell people how I feel...not even to my own mom I am sure I will not be able to tell any future lovers how I feel...


No, if I had one wish it would be for my mom to start being a mom and not a lazy teenager she has no idea how much I want just to stop going to school, get a job and help support the family she will never know...every day that feeling grows stronger and stronger sadly there are no signs of change. I am the one who makes the shopping list, I am the one who cares for the dog, I am the one who takes care of mom, I am the one who is a "real" dad for me brother, I am the one who tries to keep the peace between everyone...not even my friends know this feeling...


No, if I had one wish it would be to see if I am alive sometimes I feel "dead" inside the only time I feel alive is when I am not inside my house because anytime I feel any kind of emotion it is outside the house but if I carry that emotion inside the house it gets sucked away...I just want to know if I am alive


No, if I had one wish it would not to feel like a servant in my own house when people wake up in the morning they get a "good morning" or "how did you sleep" etc. But not me I get a "jj get me a coke" that means I am on the clock, then a few minutes later I get yelled out because I did not take out the family dog bull s**t he is mine I am the only who takes him out, the ones who fills up his food and water bowls hell even we went to the vet mother told he me to remember all of the health info. I am slowly starting to go all the work around the house from cleaning all of the dishes to the laundry while she sits on her a*s playing on her phone bossing me around. I think I am starting to develop a hate for people who boss me around because every time I hear an order from her I get pissed I have even told everyone I know to stop calling me jj because any time I hear that I say "what do you want" a phrase I am getting sick of hearing leaving my lips, pretty soon I am sure my mom won’t be able to go anything because she has not done it herself...hate being a slave in my own house.


No, if I had one wish it would be that I can stop lying to my mom but she gets defensive, then she shuts us down. Because sooner or later the truth is going to be known and the longer this "lie" goes on the more painful it is going to be in the future. I do know this when I move out I am going to write a letter letting her know how I feel...just hope she listen, last time I did this she did not listen to me. I think the price is larger than she thinks. 


No, if I had one wish it would be to go back to my home…just even thinking about it makes me want to cry my eyes out, the weird thing is I wanted to leave on my terms but ever since we moved I won’t ever get that feeling. Now I just can’t wait to get the hell out of here and never look back, in all honesty I don’t think I ever will look back.  


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


© 2014 Jonathan Biswell


Author's Note

Jonathan Biswell
my first poem please be gentle

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Featured Review

The poem is nice :) . . .

Don't want to be needy, but you do have some grammar mistakes and also maybe the poem should be a bit more emotional, overall it is good and i do feel you, and in the end that is what a poem is meant to do.
Being visible maybe sometimes is actually good, but also being visible can bring a lot of burden, people start to compare you they start judging you, they start involving into your life, trying to control you and correcting you. In the end it leads to even a bigger struggle.
Also if you had ONE wish, you would have to choose from all those and it would be hard.

All though this is a very good start! Keep it up! ~ Raitiz

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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Posted 8 Years Ago


Jonathan Biswell

8 Years Ago

yeah kind of deep
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Q
I like the theme and the formula you used to convey it (the "no" which sets off each section for instance). How could you ever decide on just one wish when there are so many things that could improve your life? We all struggle with that one I think.

There were some typos in there you should go back and revise. And if you really want to rework this piece I would sit down with just one section each day and think up as many emotional analogies as you can to re describe each statement. That would give it more of a poetry feel than the expo tone you have going on right now (which I actually like, but then I'm not much of a poetry fan). Otherwise, I would say this sounds more like a really cool cross between a story and a poem. I mess around with that myself sometimes.

For a first attempt, this is really pretty good. Though you definitely strike me as more of a story teller than a poet. Again, I personally prefer that.

Keep at it! Remember the three rules: read, read, and read some more. The more you read the more you'll internalize things like flow and analogy.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The poem is nice :) . . .

Don't want to be needy, but you do have some grammar mistakes and also maybe the poem should be a bit more emotional, overall it is good and i do feel you, and in the end that is what a poem is meant to do.
Being visible maybe sometimes is actually good, but also being visible can bring a lot of burden, people start to compare you they start judging you, they start involving into your life, trying to control you and correcting you. In the end it leads to even a bigger struggle.
Also if you had ONE wish, you would have to choose from all those and it would be hard.

All though this is a very good start! Keep it up! ~ Raitiz

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 26, 2012
Last Updated on November 13, 2014
Tags: vent, life, problems

Author

Jonathan Biswell
Jonathan Biswell

Shepherdville , KY



About
A novice writer who still has a lot of work to do, I do write guy x guy, yoai, boy love story whatever you want to call it, but I do keep it descent but I will write little teaser in there. I know my .. more..

Writing
Karma Karma

A Story by Jonathan Biswell





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