I am no longer who I used to be

Putting down into words the need to change.

i am no longer who i was yesterday 

dead as a corpse 

the memory of that girl 

I have shedded a thousand layers of skin over twenty seven years

forever changing like the world we live in 

change is on the only constant

change excites me 

I carry the memories of past lives

Heavy with the weight of regret

it does not pull me down 

it drives me forward with the hope it will get lighter

To fear change is an alien concept to me 

we are always evolving 

growing

Darkness comes with winter 

but spring brings happiness

hope

No matter how much I have changed 

one thing will remain a fact 

I am still not happy with who I am

And that is why I keep going. 

Author's Note

please tell me how this poem made you feel.

Reviews

[mabel mae]

I have changed everything about myself except 1 - I’m still here.

[NormaZ]

At the beginning I felt hopeful, like a snake shedding it’s skin we are born anew every day, transforming. The ending was sad, maybe you will change into a person you will learn to love someday. I liked the themes of embracing change, being excited by it even. Nice work.

[Haley]

You've captured my inner thoughts at any given time. While we need to learn how to love and respect ourselves, give some forgiveness to past actions to aide in present pain, we should also strive to keep learning and to keep going. I hope that you can find a peace, if not happiness, I know that's what I'm looking for. Really great write that makes you reflect on yourself.

[Franky]

This is so normal. None of us should be happy with our imperfect, aging selves. All of us should naturally yearn to be better. Its the right thing for us. This was a spiritual write for me.

[spacelava]

This hits very close to home. Change is a complicated thing - you never know how it can affect you or those around you. Most times it has a negative connotation, people say 'You've changed' in such a way to make you feel as if the person you were before (no matter how much you might've despised them) was somehow better than the one you are now. But if there's no change, are we really moving forward?

I enjoyed this a lot - especially the following:

No matter how much I have changed
one thing will remain a fact
I am still not happy with who I am
And that is why I keep going.


I know it's supposed to sound pessimistic because it portrays dislike towards one self, but I can't help but see it as something positive. As if the narrator themselves are putting on a smile and saying, "Yeah I hate myself right now, but I'm going to keep going; work on myself until I can look in the mirror and see someone I really like."

[Midnight Baron ⚜&..]

Well that surely strikes home. We change over time and that is a certainty. We still carry with us the mistakes of our older selves and must continue on to make the future better. Though, happiness can be a little more complex to attain through the change. Especially finding a versions of ourselves we want. Write on my friend!

[Tepo]

Most of resolve to change at this time of year
These words show your resolve
Quite a heavy read
Though
I like that, can't beat real for me
I'm at the other end of m8
I sense loss in this also
Keep writing Rachel
It will underline your determination
Look forward to reading more
Talented

[whatrachelwrites]

thank you so much! I really appreciate that and will read your work!