Immortal Amour

Immortal Amour

A Poem by Justin Littlefield
"

The plunge into a mind of lunacy; the tale of an eternal bloodlust; or the trials of a deep, unrequited love? Take it however you want and decide for yourself.

"
As the snow fell upon the trees and brush, 
I felt my heart grow the same cold, 
my soul become the same as the colorless slush.
The hour was late, 
or early,
but time wasn't as much a factor to my madness 
as was the bind and the bond to the blackness.
Its purity taunted me, 
its impurities tainted me, 
and its obscure mysteries provoked me,
so I felt, as well, myself and it become one; 
both deficient of light, 
both refuting the warmth of sun.
Mesmerized by the vibe of the silence; 
standing in the frigid night with the look of livid delight--
I began to contrive an atrocious thought, 
basking in a sinister fervor, 
ready to unveil my rigid plot. 
O how my mind wandered within that daze of which I pondered, 
in some sort of twisted, wretched reverie… 
and O how the pain seeped deep, 
while I laughed berserkly 
and wept over the love we've shared through centuries of vivid memories…
I’ve loved her for as long as I can possibly recall 
Through thralldom and gall,
Tempest, torrent, and squall,
Acquired culmination 
and the fall of it all…
First
she was the wench who made my heart wrench 
in the days of the medieval and despair. 
I would wait by a nook to watch from afar as she bathed in the brook 
from which our fondest times were shared. 
She never suspected, never looked, 
but oh, how I shook, 
fretting that she'd spot me there someday. 
But no, she never caught me. 
I was merely but a ghost, 
longing to be one with a host--one to stay!
Till once while she slept, slickly I crept 
to possibly touch her dark hair. 
Her skin was bare, 
An ivory tinge, so soft and fair 
Chilled by the faint zephyrs of dampened air.
The moisture glimmered upon her like porcelain in the moonlight
Oh! how I dared to share such delights! 
No… I could not subside from her sight. 
So suddenly she woke, 
"Degenerate!" she spoke, 
"How dare thee approach while in this brook I bathe alone!" 
Her words were erotic 
and expression exotic, 
such an aphrodisiac to my eternal disease. 
Grinning, I grasped her, 
and practiced disaster, 
until I was in an odious peace, 
infernally pleased. 
As she withered and cursed, 
my attraction grew worse, 
so out of impulse I drowned her in that creek… 
And so I sought to seek 
from my lover who would nevermore speak, 
a lesson in which I learned from her wide eyed stare: 
Love is blind; 
love is bland; 
love is bare; 
love is bleak.
The age next had I found her was in the time of renaissance, 
the era of new ideas and social bliss. 
I was living from the gutters and eating like a rat 
in a marketplace within the heart of Venice. 
‘Twas one morning, in the turning of seasons, that I saw her standing there-- 
different face, different eyes,
Blonde layers of hair;
all the same prize. 
She was ever as beautiful, as ever robust, 
ever still her eyes did confide a promise in trust. 
They swore as they met my own 
that she would be mine until the time 
she was composed but of bone… and dust. 
And so I would fantasize about those eyes
and more as I saw her, the more my lust would grow in size. 
Thus I began to devise.
Once had I met her again in the crowds, 
I watched her for hours until she departed the scene. 
Invisibly I stalked her, 
I mystically proctored 
until the point she had reached the place of her dwelling, 
a cottage not suited for my queen. 
An old, decrepit man, insipid to my senses, 
welcomed her as she entered the home. 
"Grandfather," she said, 
"I have brought you home tendered meats, ripened fruits, and an abundance of bread. 
But if I was merely a minute later, would you have not been dead? 
Sorry for the wait, 
you see, 
it was due to the plethora of patrons that I am home so late." 
The old man looked fair elated, 
while I watched and waited, 
biding until the time she could be mine. 
My love prepared a feast, 
suitable for two at least, 
but it would be three that in that night would dine. 
As they sat at the table, 
I no longer was stable, 
so I burst through the window upon I had been perched. 
The two cowered and screamed, 
hysterically it seemed, 
begging mercy from the deities of their church. 
The old man was first I would waste; 
throat slit to taunt the taste,
She, beaming such hysterical grace. 
Off she raced,
fear painted on her face, 
I was aroused, craving the chase, 
so I brought her in to my wicked embrace. 
Oh, how I doted on her… 
for she kept her word 
through all the lonely years interred. 
For as the very years occurred, 
while she was buried and decomposed to bone, 
in the dirt deterred, 
she was never alone. 
How absurd. 
I and she, we will always be united. 
Again she taught me so much more: 
Love is guided; 
Love can not be ignored; 
Love will always prevail no matter how hard we fight it, 
no matter even if against it the heavens are implored; 
And love is sometimes uninvited.
Crushed I would be for nearly two centuries, 
searching and longing for her return. 
I traveled many shores and horizons galore, 
but finding the one I adored had been extensively adjourned. 
Prolonging our immortal matrimony, 
I began, in savage acrimony, 
a binge of blood so profusely consumed. 
Multitudes were entombed 
by I, the ravager, the bringer of doom, 
throughout the countless springs and through a many bloom of gloom. 
Until, by chance, one summer in a park, 
while a child's vigor was plundered in the dark, 
I smelled her and felt her in a distant midst. 
I crept upon the shallow shadows, 
unhallowed, 
passing the oaks and mallows, 
desiring to acquire but a glimpse. 
Finally I saw her, traveling alone
Softening in me what was the coldest of stone.
She was old in this form, a silver shaded crone, 
but still how brilliantly her radiance shone. 
As I trailed in the night 
in deprav'd delight, 
she was approached by a nefarious sort of man. 
He intruded so crude, 
I could not elude the feud, 
so I had to abandon my plan. 
He yanked at her bag, 
treating her like a hag, 
so I rushed to save my maiden from this thief. 
As I came, he dared not stay, 
I had scared him away, 
and so saved my love from an evening of grief. 
Thanking me so sweet, 
I felt my heart's beat 
pick up a pace only she could discretely compel. 
She invited me to her nearby abode, 
such enthusiasm I showed, 
so we were off to that place in which she dwelled.
For minutes we walked, 
and then hours we talked 
about all that existence combines. 
We spoke of our times, 
her manner so sublime, 
yes I felt our ancient kismets entwine. 
Then she spoke of another, 
my love--widowed by a lover! 
O! how I suffered at the thought of her ignorantly admitted infidelities! 
A fiery rage overcame me, 
it sweltered untamely, 
and the urge to purge from her these traits of treachery 
became a fervid hell within me. 
Alas! I upturned the table between us, 
perturbed by the burn of Venus, 
and snapped her fragile frame unto ingest. 
--At the strike of the hour eleventh, I struck a match to the drapes, 
stricken with an ache not known till that day. 
It was the most grueling, the most excruciating of pains.
Gradually it had grown into a grim devastation, 
while I watched as the conflagration
spread throughout the domicile of her domain.
--As the place, set ablaze, was engorged in flames, 
as well immolated by it was I. 
Twas a hurt I had defied and now could not deny. 
So... once again, 
as she burned, I learned:  
In love arises rage intense,
Sometimes the likes of which must be cleansed,
As did the fire yield to the onslaught of rain… 
Love is pain. 
Six score I was torn furthermore, 
clenched by the clutches of an endless dolor. 
Sunken in a sadness so lonesome, 
hollow and horridly loathsome, 
I knew none but her, 
the one who had showed me the various shades of amour. 
To fluctuate my depression 
I would extricate aggression 
by the lavish dispense of crimson sprays. 
Drawn to the new world during its phase of repugnance, 
in the dark days of expansion I sustained
in redundance,
feeding my morbid ways. 
As I journeyed through the villages 
on a romantic pilgrimage, 
longing to restore my ardor, 
I had found her once more. 
While in The Yorks I was touring 
there was a fest so alluring, 
multitudes were maneuvering, 
dancing and laughing upon nature's floor. 
Though there were hordes of many beings 
they had not stopped me from seeing 
the one whom I had forked from long ago in course. 
Ever how our fates were destined to converge, 
so from the dark depths I emerged 
to resurge our forsaken acquaintance perforce.
I plunged amongst the promenade, 
I, the facade, 
a fraud, 
blended in to get close to my mate. 
Making to the middle
while cavorting to the fiddle, 
I saw her in a youthful sort of state. 
She was but sixteen- 
such innocence, 
so seemingly pristine, 
dancing with the joy of warm combusted pyres. 
Reflecting on the fire she had last been entire, 
I was pleased to find her now 
before her chastities expired. 
In a meeting of our optics 
her demeanor paled like toxic, 
seeming as though she had fallen into nightmare. 
Well, it was of kind. 
I was the incubus, within her mind, 
coming to prey upon her with my sadistic stare. 
But no, quite contrary, 
in my thought I was merry 
And she was but amidst the sweetest dream. 
For together we were afresh, 
one in blood and one in flesh, 
And this juncture had brought our bond to be redeemed. 
So I drew myself away 
with her in my sight to stay 
as she swayed until she strayed from the arrays. 
Like a predator I approached 
to some-practically poach, 
but as I neared her she met me half way.
"Who are you stranger? 
I feel I'm in danger, 
for I know that you’ve hurt me before. 
I've seen you in my sleep 
while you sneak, stalk, and creep, 
I've seen you paint more than a splendor of gore.
Is it not deja vu, 
here running into you? 
Are you not the one who in rest has haunted me?" 
I gazed down at her
and my sight was a blur, 
O how I could hardly see.
Was it true she remembered 
the brook through the ember? 
Had I stayed with her soul as I wished? 
"Fear not, my daunted child, 
you will not be defiled, 
for I am an angel sent here to guide you. 
I have long lived inside you, 
I have long searched to find you, 
for you are the one who I most in this world cherish." 
Her eyes began to water 
as she flashed back the slaughter, 
So she darted away in anxiety. 
She was running through her past. 
She was slow,
I was fast,
so I snatched her from the soul of her society. 
I dragged her to the nearby forest 
to a cabin of the poorest, 
murdering the man who called it his home. 
I stripped her bare 
and strapped her to a chair, 
waiting... watching on the gloam. 
Until darkness cradled me in its pit, 
hypnotized by it, 
I felt its antithesis of resplendence emit. 
It is here I have lead you, 
through this tale you've been brought, 
to the point that it rains of a sleetish onslaught…
After hours of conspiring, 
fathoming, and admiring 
that she had remembered me 
throughout her singed memories- 
I found it in my darkened heart 
that we must be apart, 
that I had found a love that could never be. 
I part with her once more in adolescent rest, 
thwarting my interest, 
knowing that it was for the best. 
But before I left her to be, 
I took her corpse to melody, 
and danced until the dawn had burst. 
Oh, how it hurt 
as I placed her in the dirt, 
wallowing in the knowledge that I am infinitely cursed. 
Thus, for what I perceived 
would be my final test conceived--
I was edified by the whites of snow; intrigued as it fell:
Unrequited raptures, how sweet the hell
Damned by that delusion, I saw it not fragile nor frail.
But alas, Only true love can not possibly fail 
and it had been evinced to me that to it I am eternally repelled...
Dwindling into dimness, the stars began to fade as the day drained the shades of night. The celestial skyline was deprived of its twilight as the sun began to rise, 
bearing sight of grays through a haze of early morning light. 
I felt it was time to leave my lost love, 
while the snow was becoming rain, 
to forever remain in those soundless woods of Maine. 
I would never search again, 
the pursuit would be in vain. 
I had nothing to look forward to, 
nothing to lose, nor to gain.
It had been many an age of perpetual rage 
that I traveled through foreign gravel, 
meandering with no place to go. 
Riding through the timelines of mankind, 
watching the world unwind, 
with guidelines of no design- 
I wandered with too much to know. 
Then in one evening 
I felt a vibe so deceiving…
It couldn't have been what I felt! 
So intensely I had sensed, 
I could not bear the suspense. 
My heart started to fester and melt. 
Plagued by curiosity, 
it could not possibly be her again-- but I went. 
O How the atrocity 
of self-animosity 
had made of myself resent. 
Something within me warned not to go. 
"Just a peek would be meek, 
it would not make me weak," 
I told myself as her scent was followed. 
The presence grew stronger, 
it wouldn't be much longer, 
she was but within feet in the cramped city streets. 
My focus steadily shifted, 
through the crowds my search persisted 
and I saw her near where the perpendiculars meet. 
She saw me as well- 
my nerves started to swell 
whilst she gasped and bolted forward with a peculiar sort of smile. 
Perplexed as she came to me, 
I was crippled by her beauty, 
overwhelmed to the most of my millennia of trials. 
"Is it you?" is what she asked, 
"or some false man in a mask? 
Are you really the one who I think?" 
I had not an answer 
for my bather, my dancer, 
my master… 
I could not even possibly speak. 
"Oh, it must be you!" 
How the lust within me grew. 
She threw her arms around me,
Bound to me, to confound me.
"I have seen you each slumber, 
but in wake I am torn asunder, 
torn from ever finding any kind of closure. 
Until once in an evening, 
while alone I was grieving, 
you came to me and my grief was over.
You're the one I've longed to find, 
the only thought on my mind, 
have you seen me the same as well? 
Or am I suffered by an unfair illusion? 
Have you not, as have I, dreamt endlessly of our fusion?"
I told my love the story, 
the unfolding allegory, 
and strangely she was not disturbed in the least. 
It was fate that we were brought back together 
and now, for better, I have changed her forever; 
subverting my solitude and finally given peace. 
And so I was taught, and am still being taught, 
from her vibrant face 
turned a ravishing rot, 
something that I had sought 
endlessly and restlessly: 
It is useless to look, for true love will find us all eventually; 
True love is surely meant to be; 
Yes, true love is destiny!
*
How unfair was that scrupulous scheme, 
Wrought by those fiends who rupture dream,
To have captured me so dastardly amidst the rapture of our share?
Whilst making love in a condemned building,
A lair where dust permeates and termites teem,  
beside the brittle, broken set of stair,
something stopped me from thrusting, and I released her hair. 
Sudden flashes through the barred windows beamed
reflecting on the shattered glass' scattered gleam
and boisterous sirens from outside began to blare.
My maiden gave me that stare, that wide-eyed glare,
The cowering countenance of scare,
so sheerly shocked she couldn't even scream.
More and more of the wails came sounding
and subsequently the door started pounding
I said to her, "Don't worry dear, we'll be spared.
There must be some sort of mistake."
Then that oaken barrier did start to crumble and break.
"It will be okay darling, it's only a misunderstanding, I swear!"
Ah penitentiary… sanitarium… 
Destitute sanctum…
Asylum of desolate delirium…
What is left but the sound of her tone,
Echoing with a spectral resonance
throughout these cold walls of stone?
Out there alone, she is somewhere waiting,
My dame, beseeching succor, the safeness of my embrace;
Anticipating whilst all the same deteriorating!
Alas, I haven’t the strength to break free from this place.
I remain restrained, sedated in stasis and maintaining waste.
Creating…
Contemplating…
Irately hating…
Fate fading… with haste!
But how long can an immortal be scorned?
Apart from the world torn,
While men die off and are born and reborn?
No... my time will commence once more…
I will find my matron and restore the orders of yore
In the name of love, as I have before,
Here’s to our immortal amour!

© 2014 Justin Littlefield


Author's Note

Justin Littlefield
It may take a few reads to determine your opinion



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Featured Review

It's one of those pieces which you need to read a few times before you can pick up on everything there is to offer. It's well done with an interesting and different tone about it. The lessons to learn are intrigueing; there's clearly much more depth there than I have picked up on the first time around.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is one of the best ballads I've ever read. The language, style and choice of words stand out along with the story narrated and concept. Not only is it beautifully written, it's interesting throughout. There's so much and too many things to love about it. It can be interpretted in more than one way and all the meanings are profound. "While men die off and are born and reborn?"--this made me see a personification of love and how it is immortal and has lasted centuries, being reborn eternally, hurting. Few can compose such a piece. Delightfully dark and amazing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Justin Littlefield

4 Years Ago

I am thrilled to see you enjoyed this piece so much. It is like my baby, the work that launched me i.. read more
It really is amazing how when I read it more and more I understand it more and I pick up on different things. I love how you go into depth and teach us at the same time. A truly magnificent poem

Posted 4 Years Ago


That was amazing.

I am truly at a loss for words on how to tell you how much I enjoyed this. It is a masterpiece.

Yet now I am torn. I require stories and first chapters for my contest. This is a poem, sure, yet it tells a most horrific tale, a great story. I shall read the other entries and then decide if this will place.

Thanks for sharing this. It was a thrilling read.

-Caradoc

Posted 5 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this! I think it is very well done. Great job! :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Whoa, what a very DAAARKKKKK poem and theme. The man was different and the lessons he learned are learned in dark ways. this is such a write~!

Posted 6 Years Ago


That was very intriguing. Another good read. Continue writing. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ooooh, this is good. It did take a couple reads but that is because I'm a donut. >.< Haha, anyhoo, I enjoyed this was very interesting and I enjoyed it, Well done dear!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Justin Littlefield

6 Years Ago

Thank you Sye! I'm glad you liked it!
s y e

6 Years Ago

Not like, loved it ;-) haha
Are you the reincarnation of Lord Byron, perchance? I am so glad to have happened upon this story. This was amazingly melodic and darkly romantic. I love the flow and the rhyme, the way the words take us on a ride through a man/monster's life and thoughts. It reminds me of The Giaour. And I love the paralleling evolution of his love and of the girl. This is so sinister it is lovely. My favorite line has to be from paragraph 4, " Perturbed by the burn of Venus," how eloquent and appropriate. Subsequently, in the same paragraph the word "excruciating" is missing its "r." But, that is minor. This is going into my favorites, wonderful story, I have fallen in love with your writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

interesting ^,..,^

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sustained glory.
Full force from start to finish, worth more than a thousand reads to appreciate the subtle tones and dark undercurrents.
Each image, poetic beauty,
supporting the length. Bravo.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on December 18, 2010
Last Updated on December 23, 2014
Tags: love, lust, lunacy, dark, horror, vampire, blood, death, reincarnation

Author

Justin Littlefield
Justin Littlefield

Las Vegas, NV



About
I'm Justin, 24 years old, out of Las Vegas, NV. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, it matured with me, became something entwined in my spirit. Reading almost any piece of mine you may de.. more..

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