Hard To Look At

Hard To Look At

A Poem by Nathan Durham

A poem I wrote when I was severely depressed. It's about how hard a girl was to look at when she is with her guy, despite how much I love her

I see you in the hallway, I pass you on the street
I know I can rationalize
Why our paths never meet
And why I won't look into your eyes

It's because I hate to have my childish dreams
Crushed under my personal despair
Replaced by my heartbreak, tears, and screams
'Because my feelings don't reflect, you don't care

You're just so f*****g hard to look at
Because every time my eyes lock onto you
He pulls some impressive s**t out of his hat
Leaving me alone to want nothing new

I don't want to come off as someone you'd hate 
I don't want to wish away what makes you smile
But these desires make me pray for fate
And keep me sane for a while

Then gravity drops me back to what is real
Just me chasing after a foolish wish
Keeping to myself what you don't feel
So my emotions, you completely miss

I used to find your gaze so entrancing
I could fantasize us doing it all
Hugging, kissing, laughing, dancing
Up all night up close, or text, or in a call

I used to always fixate on you, in hope, in prayer
But now, I prefer to always look another way
Wherever I turn, you're always there
An image of your hypnotic beauty, but with not much to say

You're so f*****g hard to look at
With my jealous agony burning through my veins
When you and him have your romantic chat
I silently writhe in my secret pains

© 2010 Nathan Durham

Author's Note

Nathan Durham
I hope you like it

My Review

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How passionate and simply true. Normally, I don't encourage curses in a poem as they destroy the flow, but you used it here in a really spontaneous way. Love this poem, the drama and hidden dilemma carefully expressed in words.

Keep Writing. ^___^

Posted 9 Years Ago

im wowed! great job!

Posted 10 Years Ago

amazing. very good emotion and i can relate. thanks for sharing

Posted 10 Years Ago

I love it. Many people have probably felt this way. I've felt this way, except about a guy that was dating my friend. There are just some emotions, such as the ones expressed in this poem, that are in the front of your mind at every minute, dictating everything you do, every move you make, the ways that you react. You did a good job expressing those emotions in this poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on March 23, 2010
Last Updated on May 24, 2010
Tags: depressing, girl, pain


Nathan Durham
Nathan Durham

Lebanon, OR

My name is Nathan. I am 15 years old. I am based in Lebanon, Oregon. I love to write and do math. My favorite color is black. I am a vegetarian. more..