Distancer

Distancer

A Poem by Nathan Durham
"

A poem that I wrote. This tells a tragic(in a way) story...

"
Look at them, they are the perfect pair
The way he kisses her, with so many charms
As she returns the favor, with so much care
He protects her by wrapping her in his arms

He speaks of the way she makes his heart beat
She pretends to smile, as she nods her head
Soon he would be crushed and anguished with defeat
The impending pain would strike, leaving him feeling dead

She said it would be best if they took time apart
He knew deep down she was leaving for good
Her goodbye forced a knife into his heart
To stop her, he would do anything if he could

He is now grown up and out on his own
She leads a life that is fun, fulfilling, and free
He fantasizes about how he doesn't want to be alone
She is still the only person he wants to see

He keeps on loving her as a distancer
Long after she decided it was the end
That look in his eyes lets you know he misses her
He won't settle with just being her "friend"

She has long since moved on to another guy
He waits endlessly until hell starts to freeze
He stays up in bed asking himself "why?"
She sits on a throne, while he's on his knees

That girl is an angel, flying on radiant wings
While the distancer gazes at her from a range
She is deaf to the love songs he still sings
His love is a constant, it will never change

Forever broken until she knocks on his door
Or when pigs fly, whichever comes first
She forever scours the world in search of more
Meanwhile this boy is still here, at his worst

As long as the distancer loves her, he will always be one
She now only kisses him within his wishful mind
If she ends up happy when all is said and done
The distancer's true bliss, you are sure to find...

© 2010 Nathan Durham


Author's Note

Nathan Durham
I hope you enjoy this

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Featured Review

I thoroughly enjoyed this one! :) It made it interesting how you wrote it in second person instead of first person. I also liked the theme of the "distancer" that you used throughout your poem, and the line, "She sits on a throne, while he's on his knees" is such good imagery! It really struck me like, "Wow."

Also, I loved this stanza:

"That girl is an angel, flying on radiant wings
While the distancer gazes at her from a range
She is deaf to the love songs he still sings
His love is a constant, it will never change"

That was my favorite one, I think.

Lastly, your ending kind of caught me off guard! Lol. It was quite a contrast for you to say, "She now only kisses him within his selfish mind," only to then say,

"If she ends up happy when all is said and done
The distancer's true bliss, you are sure to find..."

That is very mature of you to want her to be happy even if she doesn't find that happiness by ending up with you. At least that is what I gathered from that. Am I right?

Overall, nice work! This was very well written. :) I also like how your poem takes one through the journey of your relationship in a way. It progresses very well!

P.S. I think you meant to type "fantasizes" instead of "fantasies," though. ;)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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I absolutely love this poem!! I can't say my favorite line, because I loved ALL of them, but I do love how you called him the "distancer" Amazing poem. I love the way you worded it, and the rhymes.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I understand how you feel. Though I've never been in a relationship, I've seen people I care about very much be taken by someone else. I may not be perfect on the outside, but if someone cared enough to dig deeper, I'm sure I would shatter the earth. If she doesn't want you, then the best you can do is forget. There will always be someone else, and it's too soon to find a so called "soulmate". Just keep climbing, and someday you'll reach the top of your mountain.

Posted 10 Years Ago


She sits on a throne, while he's on his knees! Oh, my!! I really enjoyed this poem, but it is very sad. I did like the end, because we can't control someone else, as much as we miss them, but to want their happiness, above all, is good!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Yeah, the end was a bit of a tough contrast. I modded it a little bit to smooth it out a bit. It shows he still wants her, but wants her happiness above all else.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is amazing I love the rhyme scheme and flow.
This is full os feelings. very well written

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sorry, I forgot to rate.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I enjoyed this piece. It was interesting how it was written, as if you were the witness and not the subject. Which you may be but, if you can relate to my work you have lived the situation yourself. It flows like heartache, beautiful prose.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I thoroughly enjoyed this one! :) It made it interesting how you wrote it in second person instead of first person. I also liked the theme of the "distancer" that you used throughout your poem, and the line, "She sits on a throne, while he's on his knees" is such good imagery! It really struck me like, "Wow."

Also, I loved this stanza:

"That girl is an angel, flying on radiant wings
While the distancer gazes at her from a range
She is deaf to the love songs he still sings
His love is a constant, it will never change"

That was my favorite one, I think.

Lastly, your ending kind of caught me off guard! Lol. It was quite a contrast for you to say, "She now only kisses him within his selfish mind," only to then say,

"If she ends up happy when all is said and done
The distancer's true bliss, you are sure to find..."

That is very mature of you to want her to be happy even if she doesn't find that happiness by ending up with you. At least that is what I gathered from that. Am I right?

Overall, nice work! This was very well written. :) I also like how your poem takes one through the journey of your relationship in a way. It progresses very well!

P.S. I think you meant to type "fantasizes" instead of "fantasies," though. ;)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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8 Reviews
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Added on May 11, 2010
Last Updated on May 11, 2010
Tags: depressing, girl, pain, alone, breakup, desire, return, distancer, love, obsession, eternal

Author

Nathan Durham
Nathan Durham

Lebanon, OR



About
My name is Nathan. I am 15 years old. I am based in Lebanon, Oregon. I love to write and do math. My favorite color is black. I am a vegetarian. more..

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