Risperdal

old poem written for a friend taking too many medications.

The mind in regression

shows

the patterns form no shape, fade in grey disguise.

That the rhythms linger on an unknown note,

undetectable noise, quiet in its chaos.

 

The heart lost it own heart

in contempt of its alienation.

Always aberrant in its journey,

the hearts motive is never to achieve its destiny.

 

The inner clock wore a mask of delusion

to protect the secret of death

finally exposed its face

revealing time to be only a human condition.

 

Reviews

[felweed]

You have touched the madness that is in the mind and the numbness that is brought out by the name.

[woodennymph]

i love how the emotions and realizations leaped up at me while i read the poem. the words were used and meshed well and the structure added to the interest. i think it needs a general point or idea though, something that gave you these thoughts perhaps or what they were about, something to tie them together and make them flow as one. great job nonetheless!

[DarkIriswriter]

You seemed as deep in thought and the world around you.The writing it sonstagious and wanted to read more.I love the word useage and the thinking of where your thoughts were going in the poem!

[The realest]

The word usage seemed very well thought out though i felt like tis could be a piece of a more elaborate poem with more detail. Still amazing and captivating

[mick weller]

`The inner clock wore a mask of delusion`
a most profound and thought provoking piece...
- was this on purpose: 'the hearts motive' (or the heart's motive ?)
speaks of confusion and this is felt...
the opening seems to refer to monitored ECG patterns: `undetectable noise, quiet in its chaos`

schizophrenia? and a closing - it's hard to witness those you love and admire slide into decline...
I fear (and feel) that this means far more to you than you could ever capture entirely though...

good piece
thank you for sharing this

[Michael]

I hope such deep thoughts were lot lost in the haze of medication. I really like the last line. Time is such an odd concept.

Great job.