What I've Learned From Love

What I've Learned From Love

A Story by Do You Feel?

This is a piece about love, not only romantic love, but familial, brotherly, and just love in general. Love and acceptance, approval, and how it is one of the most written about topics and yet love still confounds and eludes so many of us. We can learn



This is a piece about love, not only romantic love, but familial, brotherly, and just love in general.  Love and acceptance, approval, and how it is one of the most written about topics and yet love still confounds and eludes so many of us.  We can learn about love everyday, something new that we didn't know before.  My hope is to share some of what I have been learning lately and how I feel about it today.  Thanks for stopping by to check it out, enjoy.




Right or wrong, this is how I feel and everyone is welcome to agree or disagree, but this has been my experience with Love. And not the kind of love where you think it's love, not the kind of love that hurts you, not the kind of love that you end up being used and left to cry alone at night, but the real deal Love, the Love I hope everyone can one day find like I did at 19 and still have today at almost (yikes!) 30.


I can always appreciate good wisdom, learning from other people, what works in their lives and what hasn't, I believe it can save a person from making a lot of mistakes or heartbreaks of their own, if they just pay attention to what other people learn.


I think that true love is one of the most confounding things in this world, one of the most common topics humans discuss, what we all want, what we sometimes wish we could live without, and what makes the world go around.  It is so true about us CHOOSING to give and receive love making it the "least random act in the universe". That means to me, that rather than love just "happening" to us, we have to intentionally seek it, choose it, give and receive it, keep it, or lose it. Sometimes one person wants to keep it and give it and the other wants to just receive it for a little while and then leave it for whatever reason. 


It baffles me, how love can be so simple if we let it be, but we, a humans, by nature it seems we complicate the heck out of it, don't we? Love takes courage, but if you let it be, and when it's right, it isn't really that hard, at least that is what i think, but what do I really know anyway? I could be totally wrong, but ten years of happily ever after might just mean I learned some things along the way. 


I wasn't always an optimist, believe me, before I met my husband at 19 yrs old, I had a trail of tragically bad relationships that I wanted so badly to be real everlasting love but that was really the farthest thing from it. By the time my third relationship ended much in the same way the previous two had, with me trying and the guy cheating and lying, I was cynical and convinced that the kind of love I was trying to find didn't really exist. But, I was wrong, it did exist and I have found it now because I didn't settle, I listened to my heart, trusted my instincts, and let go of chasing after the "wrong types of guys". 


By meeting that right guy it changed my entire outlook in one beat of my heart.
I wish you all love like this, if you don't have it already... don't settle, don't give up and don't believe this kind of love isn't made for you....love like this was made for everyone, we are love, and after all, we were created out of love...


Finding and Keeping Love isn't about lowering your expectations or being someone you aren't or changing for each other, it is about loving each other with an unconditional love, even learning to love the things that drive you crazy about them, it's about remembering what it was that made you fall in love with them in the first place and doing something and saying something to and for them everyday to remind them how it is them alone that makes your world spin... 


At least that is how I have remained happily in love for so long and we started out young, so many said it wouldn't last and here we are ten years later and still acting like the teenagers we were when we first met, still best friends, still lovers, and every day growing deeper and deeper in love with who we are becoming. It can happen. You have to believe that it can, even if you have decided it can't, CHANGE YOUR THINKING! 


You just have to know that love isn't like the movies, it will never be, there WILL be bad days, hard times, and things that confuse and bewilder you about each other and about your relationship, but just let it be, don't try to fix everything. Somethings just work themselves out if you give them time. Be careful to pick your battles, compromise, build each other up instead of picking each other apart, (the world does enough of that mean stuff to be doing it to one another) and never take a single moment for granted. You don't have to be a poet, or really even "romantic" in a sense, just saying something nice once a day to the one that means so much can make their whole day better, just because you took the time to appreciate them.


AND, Remember, laughter can solve more problems than you think and can add years to your relationship and bring you closer... make each other laugh and love each other well. Known your priorities, it's good to have goals outside of your relationship, but if you are married, or engaged, or on the way to being that serious, that person should be on the top of that list of priorities every day, not just when it's convenient, not just when work or school is slow, not just when you are having a good day, but EVERY DAY, it is especially important to learn to prioritize in a way that works for both of you. What makes you happy? What makes him or her happy? Find out, and then make it a point to listen to the answers and do as many as those little things or on occasion the big things to, not just because it's the "right" thing to do, but because you WANT to do things that make each other happy, to make each other's lives a better place to live in. 


Oh, and one last thing, I saved the best for last, the most important, know how to love yourself and treat yourself well first because you can't ever give away something you don't have... that is the hardest lesson of all, but by far the most important! 


Love and be Loved,
Jamie in Kansas City


© 2008 Do You Feel?

Author's Note

Do You Feel?
Been having a difficult time with the flow of my writing staying on task and not becoming distracting and taking away from my main ideas and themes, I tried really hard on this one. Any feedback or suggestions regarding this or anything else you can pick out, please feel free to critique and add your thoughts, much appreciated!

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This is well written and I love the flow of it. I am so glad that you have that perfect someone to help yo get through.

'It baffles me, how love can be so simple if we let it be, but we, a humans, by nature it seems we complicate the heck out of it, don't we?' (so true, so true�)

Posted 12 Years Ago

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Added on September 18, 2008


Do You Feel?
Do You Feel?

Kansas City, MO

I am just a girl struggling to grow up, to get over her past and learn from it, to look to the future without fear and to live each present day as if it were the most important day in my life. I have.. more..