Chapter 01: The First Day

                        A bloody war rages in heaven as Lucifer reveals himself against God wanting to rule the heavens, he commences an all�"out attack, placing angel against angel in a fierce battle that seems endless. Four archangels lead God’s army, Uriel, Gabriel, Rafael and Michael, both sides have a great amount of casualties, but at the end, only one side is left standing. Lucifer being on the loosing team is cast down to earth along with all his followers and all the angels who refused to fight for either side, while they are falling from heaven their wings burn revealing their bone like form and their bodies deforming. The archangel, Michael looks down upon one of the fallen angels while extending his arm towards him, trying to reach him, the one falling down also extends his arm upward trying to reach Michael’s arm wondering what he did wrong.  Everything suddenly becomes pale white and some kind of sound can be heard; it’s the sound of an alarm clock, a young androgynous looking man, measuring six feet one inch tall with long black hair and bright red orange eyes suddenly opens his eyes and thinks to himself. “Damn alarm clock!” The young man then turns off the alarm clock slamming it hardly with his right hand. “That dream again; why?  What’s wrong with me? Whatever, might as well get up, gotta move it or lose it.”

                        The young man’s room is white; it has a simple shelf with a few books, mostly encyclopedias and other related books of history. There is also a black desktop computer on a desk right next to the bookshelf, he also has an LCD twenty four-inch monitor with a DVD player under and a couple of movies lined up in alphabetical order in a small shelf next to the TV. His bed is queen�"sized with white sheets and two pillows, the young man stands up from his messy bed and walks over to his door, when he opens it, he finds a beautiful blonde girl. She measures five feet eight inches tall, she has dark blue eyes and has a snake bite piercings in her lower lip, dressed in a black school uniform with a bright red tie standing close to the wall across from his room.

            “It’s about time you woke up, Lloyd.” The blonde girl remarks without looking at the young man.

            “Been waiting long, Yumi?” He asks waiting for Yumi to look at him.

            “About an hour; your mom let me in.” She explains still not meeting eye to eye.

            “Hmm I see, how about a kiss?!” He asks as he tries to kiss her, she leans her head away as she pushes him away.

            “Brush your teeth jerk!” She says staring at him in a defensive pose.

            “That’s cold…” He says and replies. “Fine, fine gimme a sec.”

            “Don’t take too long.” She says pissed off lying against the wall once again.

                        He walks over to the bathroom, the bathroom is also white, with a toilet and a bathtub that has a blue curtain, and there is also the bathroom vanity with a mirror above it, there are also two toothbrushes and toothpaste. He picks up one of the toothbrushes and begins to brush his teeth; he then asks her something between the teeth. “Hey, Yumi.”

            “What?” She asks slightly peeking into the bathroom.

            “Why are you here so early in the morning?” He asks peeking into the hallway.

            “It’s the first day of school; I thought you knew, isn’t that why you’re up?” She asks with a confused face.

            “Nah, I just had a bad dream.” He responds as he keeps brushing his teeth.

            “The one about angels, again?” She asks standing in front of the bathroom door.

            “Uh, huh.” He answers with his mouth full of toothpaste.

            “You’ve been having it more frequently now, haven’t you?” She asks curiously.

            “I guess, but let’s not worry about that now.” He says quickly after spitting out the toothpaste.

            “You’re right, hurry up and get dressed; we’re going be late if you don’t.” She says getting out of his way as he walks to his room.

                        Meanwhile, in a corner near Lloyd's apartment building a young man with black long hair, five feet eleven inches tall with a vertical cut scar on his right cheek also dressed in a school uniform with a very serious expression on his face seems to be lost in thought. The sky is pale white, no clouds and a few people walking on the sidewalk past this young man, later on, Lloyd and Yumi pass near the young man and approach him.

            “Morning, frosty.” Lloyd says as he walks towards the young man along with Yumi.

            “Hey.” Yumi coldly says slightly waving her hand.

            “Lloyd, Yumi.” The young man says with his eyes closed very calm.

            “You're as cheery as always, huh, Seshiro?” Lloyd says making a grin.

            “Whatever, let’s just go.” Seshiro says walking away before them.

            “What’s his problem?” Yumi asks puzzled to Seshiro’s comment.

            “Not motivated, I guess.” Lloyd sighs as he says this.

                        A couple of hours pass, Yumi and Lloyd find themselves in the schoolyard taking a break, when suddenly Yumi asks. “Hey Lloyd, you want to do something this weekend?”

                        Lloyd slowly gets closer with a rather naughty look in his eyes, Yumi very confused asks. “Hmm, Lloyd?”

            “Hehe.” Lloyd gets closer to Yumi extending his arm around her shoulders when suddenly; she punches him really hard on the face making him fly across the school yard.

            “Get that out of your freaking head!” Yumi yells.

                        As Lloyd is about to fall on the ground, he gathers wind pressure under his feet and lands softly upon them.

            “You’re lucky you got those freaky wind powers.” Yumi shouts angrily walking towards Lloyd.

            “Haha, still hurts when you punch though.” Lloyd says rubbing his face.

            “Anyway, what I meant was…” Yumi didn’t finish her sentence as she spots out of the corner of her eye Seshiro talking to someone who seems like a very pretty girl with long dark silver blue hair and dark green eyes sitting on a wooden bench. Cherry blossoms are falling from a nearby tree while both Seshiro and the girl looks up deeply into each other’s eyes as if they are the only two people on earth.

            “Hey, is that Seshiro?” Yumi asks Lloyd pointing out at Seshiro.

            “Well, well, looks like our Seshi does have a girl around school.” Lloyd says while he smirks trying to get a better look at the girl.

            “She’s Satsume, right Lloyd?” Yumi asks pondering as she observed.

            “Yup, remember that Satsume’s unique traits are dark silver blue hair, dark green eyes and can use fire elemental powers.”

                        The girl stands up and to their surprise she isn’t wearing a female’s school uniform but a male’s uniform.

            “Oh my lord, she’s a dude!” Lloyd and Yumi say in unison very shocked.

            “Wha…?” Seshiro barely hears a familiar voice behind him and looks to his side for only a second and notice his friends are just a few feet away, looking right at him and his Satsume friend.

            “Uh…yo, guys.” Seshiro says with an awkward expression.

            “Hello, Seshi…” Yumi says in a very nervous tone looking at Lloyd from the tip of her eye.

            “Who's your friend?” Lloyd asks in the same nervous tone as Yumi.

                        Seshiro then replies in a very cool and collected voice. “This is Kyoshi, a Satsume I’ve known for a long time.”

            “What’s up?” Kyoshi says cheerfully.

            “A long time?  How come we’ve never heard of him?” Yumi asks warily staring at Seshiro.

            “Yeah, not even me and we’re almost brothers, Seshi!” Lloyd says amazed.

            “Huh? I could’ve sworn I told you.” Seshiro says lost in thought.

            “Well, we all have class now, let’s talk some more at lunch, okay?” Kyoshi says as he winks at everyone.

            “Okay, we'll see you two love birds later.” Lloyd says mockingly.

            “Bye, bye!” Yumi says as she and Lloyd quickly leave to the class.

            “Your friends are weird.” Kyoshi says subtlety.

            “Tell me about it.” Seshiro says as he frowns.

                        A couple of hours pass and class is now over, Lloyd and Yumi stand in front of the exit of Nakahiro High along with Seshiro and Kyoshi before heading home.

            “Class’s finally over! Man, what a long day!” Lloyd says with relief in his voice.

            “No kidding, I’m going home.” Yumi says as she begins walking away.

            “Wait, Yumi; why don’t we hang out at my place for a while?” Lloyd says quickly before she keeps walking.

            “I can’t, Lloyd; I already have plans for today. See ya tomorrow.” Yumi says without looking back.

            “Yeah, okay.” Lloyd simply says watching Yumi walk away.

            “Hey, Lloyd; Kyoshi and I are gonna go spar for a while, you can come if you want to.” Seshiro says with a smirk.

            “Yeah, I’d like to see what you can do in person; Seshiro told me you’re quite the swordsman.” Kyoshi comments with a smile.

            “Sorry, man; I don’t feel like training today, I’m just gonna go home.” Lloyd leaves immediately after saying that without letting Seshiro or Kyoshi say something back.

            “I bet he hasn’t even picked up his sword in a long time.” Seshiro says sighing.

            “What makes you say that?” Kyoshi asks frowning.

            “Heh, I don’t know; he’s just a sloth I guess.” Seshiro replies as he walks.

                        Seshiro and Kyoshi leave in the opposite direction that Lloyd does heading towards Seshiro’s apartment. A little while later, they arrive and enter; Seshiro’s apartment is very simple, with a few dark brown couches in the living room, a thirty inch TV, a small table in the middle, the kitchen right next to the living room with a refrigerator and an stove. Seshiro picks what looks like a giant sword lying in the corner of the living room covered in a white mantle and notices a dark gray shirt on the couch.

            “Hmm? This is Lloyd’s shirt…” Seshiro says calmly observing the shirt.

            “What’s his shirt doing here?!” Kyoshi says with an awkward look on his face, but Seshiro pays him no mind.

            “He asked me to wash it for him, since his washer broke or something, I was supposed to bring it today, but I forgot.” Seshiro explains.

            “He can’t be that far, what do you want to do?” Kyoshi asks.

            “Ah, damn it; go pick up your sword from your house and meet me at the training spot, I’ll take this to Lloyd and head there immediately.” Seshiro says as he picks up Lloyd’s shirt.

            “Okay, okay; don’t take too long.” Kyoshi sighs.

                        Seshiro throws Kyoshi his apartment keys and heads towards Lloyd’s house taking his giant sword with him still covered with the mantle, he seems to be in quite a hurry as he runs through the sidewalk with that giant thing on his back, many people stare at Seshiro as he runs. Kyoshi looks at Seshiro leave with a worried look on his face and takes off towards his own house, as Seshiro runs he notices that there are no people on sight or even inside the open stores all of a sudden.

            ”Something’s not right; I have a bad feeling about this.” Seshiro thinks as he hurries.

                        Meanwhile, Lloyd is walking toward his house without too much hurry, unexpectedly, the clouds turn gray like it’s about to rain, but it doesn’t, Lloyd stops walking and looks around noticing that he is the only one on the street. There is something wrong with this scenario, but Lloyd decides to ignore it and keeps walking, out of nowhere, a mysterious shadowy figure with torn up clothes comes out of hiding and attacks Lloyd. Lloyd quickly notices this presence and is able to avoid the first attack, he looks at the grotesque figure which has many blades coming out of its body, it has a dark disfigured face with glowing red eyes standing right in front of him, but for some reason it doesn’t surprise him.

            “You…what are you?!” Lloyd asks as the monster extends the blades from its limbs, then making strange sounds. “I guess there’s no point in asking what you want.”

                        Without warning, the creature rushes towards Lloyd and begins to attack him, the monster is quite fast, Lloyd is able to avoid all its strikes with nothing to fight back with. Lloyd knows martial arts, so he can at least attempt to fight it back, but the creature’s body is covered in spikes, a wrong move and he could lose an arm or a leg.

            “You know, you’re starting to piss me off.” Lloyd says slightly backing away from the monster as he accumulates wind pressure in his left hand, the creature attacks him with a vertical slash, but Lloyd avoids it by side stepping. Lloyd then sees an opening on its stomach and quickly takes advantage of it by striking the creature with his own attack.

            “Take this! Gusting Wind!” Lloyd shouts as the creature is blown away, the creature spins in midair and disintegrates when it crashes against a wall.

            “Phew, what the hell was that?!  Huh?” Lloyd hears a similar sound to what this monster did a while ago and looks back above his shoulder to see what it is. He then looks back to the front again and sighs, abruptly, he begins to run away from the area, running away from hundreds of those same monsters he just killed.

            “What the hell did I do to deserve this?!” Lloyd asks himself as he runs.

                        He continues to run away from the monsters until they finally corner him, he’s completely surrounded and there is little he can do, so he prepares to fight, just when the creatures are about to ambush him, someone shouts. “Ice Wave!”

                        A wave of ice covers the creatures behind Lloyd freezing them instantly; Seshiro now stands beside Lloyd wielding a big zweihänder.

            “Seshiro! What are you doing here?! You even brought your sword Requiem!” Lloyd asks amazed looking at Seshiro’s sword.

            “Isn’t it obvious?! Saving your a*s! Forget about the details, now get out of here and come back with your damned sword!” Seshiro demands turning his attention to the monsters.

            “Uh…right!” Is the only thing Lloyd says as he immediately starts to runs on top of the frozen monsters and leaves Seshiro to fight by himself. This is what Seshiro wants so he can’t refuse, some creatures follows Lloyd as he leave, but they aren’t as many as before. In the meantime Seshiro fights off with the other ones, Lloyd still running as fast as he can to aid Seshiro as quickly as possible, on his way, he sees Yumi walking with a supermarket bag and shouts at her. “Yumi!”

            “Lloyd…?” Yumi asks confused as to why Lloyd is exhausted.

            “Get out of here, Yumi!” Lloyd demands as he grabs Yumi’s shoulders desperately.

            “Wha…why?!” Yumi insists worried.

                        She then notices the creatures running after Lloyd and let’s go of the bag,  Lloyd runs past her and grabs her hand to make her run with him.

            “What the hell are those things, Lloyd?!  What did you do this time?!” Yumi asks a little angry and puzzled at the same time.

            “What?! This isn’t my fault!” Lloyd says as he keeps running until they finally spot the building complex where Lloyd’s apartment is, the building itself is made of concrete, its light gray and is eleven floors high, there are also some trees around it and a parking lot next to the building.

            “There it is; we’re finally here!” Lloyd shouts relived staring at the building complex.

                        Lloyd and Yumi keep running towards Lloyd’s house, but they are ambushed at the doorstep, creatures jump from all sides at once pointing their blades at them. Yumi lets go of Lloyd’s hand, she stops running and turns around to face the monsters, Lloyd stops and turns around worried about Yumi, the monsters are about to pierce her with their blades, but Yumi raises her right arm while holding it with her left and all of a sudden a golden barrier appears around her and Lloyd protecting them from the attacks. The creatures are blown away once they touch the barrier, but keep coming at it regardless, Lloyd is shocked by this power and just stands there looking at her.

            “Quit staring at me! Just hurry up and get your sword! I can’t keep this barrier on for too long!” Yumi shouts with her view fixed on the monsters.

            “Yes, ma’am!” Lloyd replies in a comical way.

                        Lloyd rushes towards his room, picks up the six feet long Lemurian sword hanging on his wall and burst out of Yumi’s barrier through the front door, killing the nearby creatures with circular slashes.

            “Leave this to me, okay, Yumi?” Lloyd says as he steps slightly back.

            “Okay, Lloyd; they’re all yours.” Yumi calmly replies.

            “I’m in quite a hurry guys, so I guess you’re out of luck, let’s get this started!” Lloyd says as he rushes past all the creatures in the area slashing them up one by one until they are all dead, he then sheaths his sword and heads towards Yumi. Yumi, who is still holding up her barrier, lets it disperse, she stumbles as she begins to faint, but Lloyd catches her.

            “It seems I overused my power, its being ages since I used it.” Yumi says covering half her face with the palm of her hand.

            “It’s okay; just rest for now.” Lloyd grabs her with both arms, enters the building and lays her on his bed. “I gotta go help Seshiro, but I’ll be back as soon as possible, just stay alert, okay?”

            “Yeah, don’t take your sweet time…” Yumi says glaring at Lloyd.

            “Ehh? Mood breaker.” Lloyd sighs.

            “Screw you.” Yumi says looking elsewhere.

                        Lloyd turns around and leaves the house; he then rushes towards Seshiro’s location. In the meantime, Seshiro is still fighting with those things, they aren’t a challenge for a warrior like Seshiro, but they are so many that they seem endless.  Seshiro’s fatigue is already catching up with him as he slices in half a few of them, but he continues to fight on. One of the creatures takes Seshiro by surprise and scrapes his arm with its long blade while another creature does the same to his leg.

            “Damn it, these things seem endless! Just what are they?!” Seshiro ponders.

                        Seshiro keeps fighting them off, killing one after another, he’s distracted for a second and a couple of creatures take advantage of this, they jump at him at the same time in an attempt to nail him, but swiftly a blade of wind cuts them in half. Lloyd jumps between Seshiro and the creatures with his sword unsheathed, then looking back at Seshiro with a cocky smile.

            “About time, you showed up! What took you so long?!” Seshiro asks a little annoyed.

            “Shut up! I’m here now, aren’t I?!” Lloyd replies bothered.

            “Forget it, here they come!” Seshiro says as he gets on guard.

                        The creatures attack them both at once, but they repel their attacks quite easily with their weapons, they both are pumped up for some reason and are annihilating the creatures as they get close.

            “I’m getting tired of this; what do you say Seshi?!” Lloyd asks looking at Seshiro waiting for a reply.

            “You’re right, lets blow them all away in one shot!” Seshiro grins without looking at Lloyd.

            “Ready?!” Lloyd asks.

            “Let’s do it!” Seshiro replies swiftly.

                        Both Lloyd and Seshiro jumps high in the air and their swords begin to shine in a blue energy, they both slash down towards the ground after charging up while shouting in unison. “Ice Age!”

                        A lot of wind blades surges down from Lloyd’s blade as a cold ice energy does from Seshiro’s blade. The attack combines in midair to create a wave of ice blades crashing down on the creatures; they all freeze instantly and then crumble away in multiple pieces. Lloyd and Seshiro fall on top of the remains of the creatures and watch them disintegrate leaving no trace that they were there. Just then Kyoshi arrives at the area wielding his four feet long sword looking at all the wreck that Lloyd and Seshiro have caused in the area, part of the street and sidewalk are cracked as well as some glass windows.

            “What the hell happened here? Seems like I missed all the action!” Kyoshi says astonished.

            “That’s what I would like to know.” Seshiro says looking at Lloyd.

            “Don’t ask me, I’m as clueless as you are.” Lloyd says panicking.

            “Hmm…” Kyoshi loses himself in thought.

            “Ah, Yumi’s waiting for me! I’m outta here, guys!” Lloyd leaves the area immediately.

            “So, what happened? What were those things?” Kyoshi asks in surprise.

            “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” Seshiro replies looking at the distance.

                        Seshiro and Kyoshi also leave the area, but as they do Seshiro looks back as if he had seen something.

            “What’s wrong?” Kyoshi asks warily.

            “It’s nothing, never mind.” Seshiro replies calmly.

Reviews

[bbb]

Lots of action here! This reads to me like it would be something in an anime or manga book, not sure if you intended that. (maybe it's just me?) You may want to got through though and do a little editing as there are some typos. The one that stands out to me is "let's" when it should be "lets." It was used that way twice that I could find. Aside from that, it was a fun read!

[Shin]

I've fixed this chapter, the format and most of the egregious grammatical errors [switch from past to present tense]. Also the said/she said dialogues which I used with more context and more description. Since I don't want to give the impression that the characters are living/fighting/loving in a blank room.

[black.butterfly]

Hmmm...Not bad shin. :)

[Joshua Donahue]

nice. a few grammar issues, but other than that, really nice dialogue. i enjoyed this very much!

[Alex]

Te quedo super brutal el primer capitulo, me pregunto porque, hahaha? Me encanta como la gente se motiva en esta pagina.

[Jason Galliger]

this is a good start. I love the dialogue between the characters, the first scene between Yumi and LLoyd is so genuine. I'd love a little more detail like what the creatures look like and things like that. Perhaps in your second draft add a little bit of that, so to break up the dialogue a little bit. Very interested story though I'll keep reading to find out what happens.

[Shannie]

this is pretty good! good start:)

[Trevor]

Very interesting start. It's definitely good for keeping interest in the rest of the book!

[Keevan]

Hmmm, good start. I'll have to read more of this.

[Felipe]

where it all begins,this is a good start for the story dude,i remmeber when i first read it hehe,keep at it man

[Pikachu]

damn chapter one finished lol it was interesting it was detailed and you must have the patience to write this much props my bro