Candles of Shame

Candles of Shame

A Poem by Pax
"

~ Picture Prompt-Semi fiction, little fragments of my introspection…

"

 

 

 

 

~ Candles of Shame ~

 

I cry because I needed to be

to release something in me.

Every tear brings moist to my dried lands.

For I, a mere man

seems so damage, yet so normal

or perhaps just fragile, easily breakable

and sometimes emotionally unstable.

 

You laugh because it’s fun,

Looking on a dreaded face

saying such a waste

then disregarded for my bitter taste.

 

I smiled an emptied smile

I laughed a pretend laugh

That’s my response to your jokes

As if it didn’t hurt

For I don’t want to upset you with my unpleasant retort

 

In time I learned to tolerate the vicious screams of my thoughts

Then mold them into candles

Hold them near, embracing it as part of my soul

And burn each shameful experienced into smokes

Now wrap with melted wax

Relax in this shell I created

a prisoner of my own doing

It’s ok, I am fine

I am strong enough to accept

enough will to intercept

the flooding negativity

with my passive cry for unity

and through my spacious heart,

 

the pain is bearable.

© 2013 Pax


Author's Note

Pax
photography by : ezorenier
pyros
luminiscencia

When I wrote this, i remember this lines I made last month and did not published it
here is the exerpt:

I am the next person behind you, easily noticeable & can be subjective to many jokes
But you know what; think of what you must, I ignore people who disrespect my being.
Some jokes have some boundaries that identify either it is funny or just plain insulting.
I am easily likeable, yet I am not always your play thing.

I also remember the poem last time I became a joke

It seems like being funny or acting lively, seems to have its consequences... yet I still dare to act one myself... by pretending so, the feeling rubs on my being, often times I lie to myself, to believed that it's still a happy world, despite everything else...

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Reviews

My dear, this craft is beautiful and profound to your feelings and mind. I assume every littl'un has felt this way...I know I have...making fun of ourselves or even others to make us feel good yet in the end we feel like s**t after reprocessing what we have done; questioning ourselves and our moralities. As a teen, I had a very idealistic view to be quite honest until I finally opened my eyes to the real world yet I do continue to smile for my accomplishments such as writing and having a family if my own!

Keep Calm and Carry On

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ah, I have to do this since I am already here. Lakasan lang ng loob yan, 'ika nga. LOL.

You know, like what Gab said, we had an issue before. You know, my friend...until now, that PM from you is still there and sometimes I read it just to remind myself that I should be careful each moment in dealing with the persons here...because we really don't know each other...and we don't know the strengths and weaknesses of each one.

Sabi ko sa iyo,I have already made a review and that's longer tapos I decided to transfer it into PM kasi emotional review talaga...then natakot na naman ako baka may masabi akong mali. But here I am now...

This piece is very moving for me. The images used talk so much about the concept. I admire how you put them into words.

This is an exceptional piece, my friend. Keep going!


Ayan, wala na akong utang ha? Bayad na si Manang. Hehe. :)


Posted 10 Years Ago


Pax

10 Years Ago

no problemo my friend, hehe, thank you very much pretty friend :)
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

10 Years Ago

You're welcome, my friend.
dearest pax,
i remember that we had an "issue" before about"sensitivity to one's feelings." if you could truly be honest with other of what you feel (just like how you were honest with me) perhaps it could minimize the feelings of pain. but then again, most of the time it is easier to be honest with faceless individuals or people we get to know over e-forums such as this than those people we deal with in our own respective real worlds.

the picture you presented is eerie but i am glad that you use of wax (or melted candle) as a representation of the facade that you wear. To me, that means that there will come a time that such shield shall likewise melt to free you from all pretensions.

Posted 10 Years Ago


gabrielle

10 Years Ago

ayan na lumabas na naman ang trust issue ...^__^.. hey, i am courageous. don't you know that sometim.. read more
gabrielle

10 Years Ago

i am not courageous..mali naman natype ko. lol
Pax

10 Years Ago

akala ko you admit it, i know deep inside you are... :)
those who would say that they are hone.. read more
I feel very emotionally connected to this poem, and at the same time I'm not quite sure I can fully understand it. I know what you mean about the jokes that hurt, some people don't realize what they say is demeaning, and also how we continue to be the jokers. I think everyone is too sensitive and not sensitive enough to emotions. I really do love this poem, if not for it's meaning, for it's format and linguistics. It's truly beautiful Pax, I wish you the best.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Pax

10 Years Ago

I wish you the best too, I hope your doing well, and still writing even in the middle of busy moment.. read more
Extant

10 Years Ago

I am well. But my writing is off and on, unfortunately.

I guess that I understand this.. read more
oh gosh that looks like hot wax torture, that poor man in the pictures, and you have described the inner torture so well here, physical scars mark us well, mental scars that mar us too not readily seen by the naked eye, but it's the emotional scars can maim us for life. This is such a strong on point write, it's only human to want to strike back, if i ever joke to much and it offends you please let me know, I would never want to do that to you ok? You'll tell me :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Corset

10 Years Ago

:) k :) speaking of chapters :P
Pax

10 Years Ago

should i post it...hmmm, its abit ready, i am afraid that its not that good, another cheezy moments... read more
Corset

10 Years Ago

if you feel it's ready , I enjoy cheesy sometimes, but don't rush it if you're not proud to post it .. read more
Skillfully crafted cascade of verse like melting wax, anything that will shield us from ten harshness of the world.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Pax

10 Years Ago

thank you so much mr. Smith, indeed... it serves as a shield to myself... a harsh world, is all we l.. read more
I understand this one from the pit of my being Pax, we all put on that happy facade, for fear of people not accepting our sadness and imperfection in being 'less than happy'. Before you know it, we've created our own cocoon to guard us from the assaults, I love that you used candles as your refuge, what an apt affinity...bravo my sweet friend, your strength shines through in this one, outstanding read!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Frieda P

10 Years Ago

We tend to think we're alone in our inadequacies Pax, but truth be told, we all feel that way at one.. read more
Pax

10 Years Ago

so true, thank you :)
Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Of course, my pleasure Pax :-)
As a Poet/Writer, we delve deep into our introspection...I really respect this from you, Pax, because your words will flow effortlessly and untethered, I your future work...you understand your pain and the comprehension of that can only make you better. Nicely done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Babe Roxx

10 Years Ago

Wow, deep, Pax...I figured you did...I'm glad you are sharing your story...you should write a story .. read more
Pax

10 Years Ago

smiling, I am already smiling with your words my friend... it's always to so nice to hear that... I .. read more
Babe Roxx

10 Years Ago

Lol Pax...I Love Adobo...my favorite is sinigang...the sour the better...more tamirind lol...I do yo.. read more
I think that you possess a true and never yielding empathic force. How strong you are ...though through human eyes seem weak....Lighting each candle with purpose...wearing each sin in ornamental wax armor, each watery breath in fish bowl helmet. Accepting that we are all bound together...no one better than the next. A crown and cross to bare...willing...accepted fate...you are the deer in the headlights that I wrote about just this morning before coming here & reading your emotionally evolving masterpiece.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Pax

10 Years Ago

wow, you always see something so deep that I always try to hide my friend, I am amaze by your words:.. read more

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Added on September 17, 2013
Last Updated on September 19, 2013

Author

Pax
Pax

CDO - the city of golden friendship, Philippines



About
Dear Visitor Hello there! I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..

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